We need to talk. Sort things out.

[Tadao]

Originally Posted by JakeOfAllTrades

I'm a different person now than I was about a year ago. Might have been a bit paranoid to think that you were trying to hurt me, even at times you actually really did hurt me, and badly.

I'm on better meds now, and I get less of the ol' voices in my head. That doesn't mean you can make fun of me all the time though. Doesn't mean I have any right to diss you either.

It's one of those things that really bugs me, it's bugged me over the past year, and I want to make amends properly so I'm not hated anymore, and so I don't have to hate or fear you anymore.

I'm dedicating my book I'm working on, which is about internet trolls (which is completely unrelated to our situation, it's more a universal statement of the futility of flame wars than a revenge book, unless you are a redneck who lives in Missouri I can't really say the person who flames the protagonist is anything like you, and I can't say I'm a half-German half-Japanese Australian born dude with war criminals on both sides of his family either). Think of it as a sort of penance for what I did, but keep in mind I didn't like myself when I was all manic and that.

I still don't know why this all had to happen, and maybe neither of us will ever understand why. I don't want so much an apology as forgiveness. So that this shit never goes down again.

When you say you are dedicating your book, did you mean to say you are dedicating it to me?

Good to see you're doing better Jake. Now don't take it all personnel, but I will always tease you and make fun of you. How you handle it will be a factor in how people here welcome you. You are not the most hated her by far. There are some people I won't even tease because they suck so much.

I know why this happened, you probably won't until you become old and bitter and fat and lonely. You're half way there!

ZING!


Tadao

[Tadao]

Originally Posted by JakeOfAllTrades

I wish I could go to Comic-Con. In case you guys don't know me, you probably already do, and if you do, I'm so sorry for anything I did to upset you. I live in Australia so we have Supernova instead of Comic-Con, and I haven't been to a Supernova or even SMASH anime fair in years because those things are always on when I've had to study.

Protoclown and you guys are always awesome, but sometimes I'm bewildered when I'm unfamiliar with 1980s franchises like Masters of the Universe and G.I. Joe. Not that those things aren't bad, I just feel... unfamiliar with them, since I never even saw G.I. Joe to this very day. In Australia it's different to America because we're so isolated from the rest of the world here, and we don't get access to limited edition toys and collectables as easy. Call it tyranny of distance if you will.

I don't want what I've done in the past cast a bad light on the person I am now, and even if I was treated badly on the forums here I want to make things right and keep enjoying I-Mockery for what it is, a fun site most of the time. It's just that back in the day, for me, it wasn't so fun.

Maybe I'm just depressed because a lot of things have gone badly for me this year, but a lot of good things have happened too. I hope to see another good I-Mockery Comic Con coverage next year from you guys...

Jake, those people in what I call the front forums probably have no idea what you are talking about. Most of them never make it into this side of the forums. So your post in the "I-Mockery's Big 2009 San Diego Comic-Con Photo Album!"is just confusing a weird. You should edit it so that people over there don't think you are a mumbling wimpy freak. Plus RoG hates drama over there.

[Mockery]

Originally Posted by Tadao

Jake, those people in what I call the front forums probably have no idea what you are talking about. Most of them never make it into this side of the forums. So your post in the "I-Mockery's Big 2009 San Diego Comic-Con Photo Album!"is just confusing a weird. You should edit it so that people over there don't think you are a mumbling wimpy freak. Plus RoG hates drama over there.

Correction - I hate drama in both forum areas. I just enforce it more in the article and blog threads, because myself and the other writers spend a lot of time on our pieces and don't want the discussion about them getting cluttered up by people arguing with and insulting each other.

I still don't like it on these forums either though. It's a comedy web site and when so many people have emailed me with complaints about how the forums aren't receptive to new users, it's not exactly a good thing. The old "Newbie Beatdown" used to be far more lighthearted, creative and fun for all. These days, it seems to be more abrasive with the intent to make everybody hate certain newcomers. I usually tell people who've had to put up with that shit to stick to the article and blog discussions since people don't act like dicks in those areas.

Of course, I'm only talking about certain areas / people on the forum. There are plenty of discussions on here that are perfectly fine and open for anybody to join in and have fun with.

[elx]

Originally Posted by Mockery

I still don't like it on these forums either though. It's a comedy web site and when so many people have emailed me with complaints about how the forums aren't receptive to new users, it's not exactly a good thing. The old "Newbie Beatdown" used to be far more lighthearted, creative and fun for all. These days, it seems to be more abrasive with the intent to make everybody hate certain newcomers. I usually tell people who've had to put up with that shit to stick to the article and blog discussions since people don't act like dicks in those areas.

'biting the newcomer' isn't just an internet thing, it's perfectly acceptable and widely practiced because it's notorious for its effectiveness. you should stand by it, not encourage noobs to stick around and punish the members.

to put it into perspective, let's say for example, you're meeting the in-laws for the first time, would you expect them to just welcome you into their family graciously? no, of course not. you'd expect them to interrogate you, treat you like garbage, and feel you out a bit. similarly, the i-mockery forum is kind of like this, but in the sense that it is a community and not a family.

i'd understand if it were constant inappropriate trolling, but it's not. i've been around the forum long enough to know that there's not a single regular poster here that is just a tool for the hell of it. it's teasing, never severe harassment, if anyone takes that so personally that they feel the need to leave and complain about it then they shouldn't have joined in the first place. but if they do make it past the "newbie beat-down" then they've become apart of the community, and that's that.

from a business perspective, i get it, the more people that frequent i-mockery the better, but it wouldn't be i-mockery without the quality which is what is important. you should thank the jerks here who keep that in check, not berate them.

if there's something wrong with that here then I seriously misjudged i-mockery and will gladly excuse myself.

[elx]

Originally Posted by Aimless

I could K.O. her with one breast, it hardly seems like a challenge.

unlikely. with fantastic brains like yours you'd probably misjudge the distance and run yourself into a wall or something before you had a chance to do anything to me.

[Tadao]

Originally Posted by elx

'biting the newcomer' isn't just an internet thing, it's perfectly acceptable and widely practiced because it's notorious for its effectiveness. you should stand by it, not encourage noobs to stick around and punish the members.

to put it into perspective, let's say for example, you're meeting the in-laws for the first time, would you expect them to just welcome you into their family graciously? no, of course not. you'd expect them to interrogate you, treat you like garbage, and feel you out a bit. similarly, the i-mockery forum is kind of like this, but in the sense that it is a community and not a family.

i'd understand if it were constant inappropriate trolling, but it's not. i've been around the forum long enough to know that there's not a single regular poster here that is just a tool for the hell of it. it's teasing, never severe harassment, if anyone takes that so personally that they feel the need to leave and complain about it then they shouldn't have joined in the first place. but if they do make it past the "newbie beat-down" then they've become apart of the community, and that's that.

from a business perspective, i get it, the more people that frequent i-mockery the better, but it wouldn't be i-mockery without the quality which is what is important. you should thank the jerks here who keep that in check, not berate them.

if there's something wrong with that here then I seriously misjudged i-mockery and will gladly excuse myself.

Do you do requests? It's been awhile since I've heard the one about freedom of speech and the rights of internet users.

[Chojin]

Originally Posted by Mockery

I still don't like it on these forums either though. It's a comedy web site and when so many people have emailed me with complaints about how the forums aren't receptive to new users, it's not exactly a good thing. The old "Newbie Beatdown" used to be far more lighthearted, creative and fun for all. These days, it seems to be more abrasive with the intent to make everybody hate certain newcomers. I usually tell people who've had to put up with that shit to stick to the article and blog discussions since people don't act like dicks in those areas.

Well, the site also used to be about mocking things instead of talking about how cool the 80s was. I agree that the forums are no longer appropriate for the site's content and haven't been for some time. Then again, I don't really know who'd come to a forum that WAS appropriate for the site's content, but the internet's surprised me before.

And actually, the beatdowns used to be way worse, but they usually happened because people would sign up to the forums while pissed off. Now they sign up wanting to actually be part of the community, but our traditions are still based around the early newbies we'd get.

I think you should consider making a new site intended for trolling the internet, like you did back in the day, then move these forums over to it.
Hell, I could do the development work myself with the help of a few people from these boards.

[Mockery]

Originally Posted by Chojin

Well, the site also used to be about mocking things instead of talking about how cool the 80s was.

Well we still do, it's just that this site isn't really about making fun of scenes / cliques like is was back when it was on Geocities and in the late 90s. Nowadays, we cover a much wider variety of things. And the things we make fun of are cheesy movies, games, comics, toys, etc.

Originally Posted by Chojin

And actually, the beatdowns used to be way worse, but they usually happened because people would sign up to the forums while pissed off.

They were worse, but people came expecting those beatdowns because the only thing on this site was mockery of various scenes 'n social cliques.

Originally Posted by Chojin

I think you should consider making a new site intended for trolling the internet, like you did back in the day, then move these forums over to it. Hell, I could do the development work myself with the help of a few people from these boards.

Honestly, the reason this site has such a huge variety of things on it after all this time is because I never enjoyed staying in one place (in terms of comedy) for too long. I spent quite a few years on Geocities and then a few more in the early days of I-Mockery doing mostly scene mockeries such as the Anti-Rave site, Winky's hardcore hate pages, Metal Mockery, Church of Mockery, Internet Perverts Exposed, etc. While I did have a lot of fun working on those, there just came a time where I grew tired of that kind of comedy. There was so much more I was interested in, and that's why I'm always trying to do something new.

Nowadays, I really enjoy the variety of things that I-Mockery has opened up for me to be able to work on. In the early days, it felt constrictive, but now I feel like there's nothing I'm interested in that I can't write about somewhere on this site. If I want to talk about a game one day, I can do that. If I want to rant about something I think is incredibly stupid, I can do that. If I want to go on a trip to a strange place and make a photo essay about it, I can do that. It's really opened up into a total stream of consciousness and that's why I'm so happy with where it is at the moment. I don't think many other sites offer that kind of variety and I try to let the other writers have total creative freedom as well. When you do that, you'll see people having fun with what they're writing instead of feeling like they "have to" write something. Plus, when people come to visit the site, they never really know what they're going to expect on here next. I couldn't have predicted I'd be writing a blog entry about a "Super Duty Wiener Fork", but there it is. It's nice to have that.

So I guess that's why I have no interest in going back to the days of making mini-sites with the sole intention of trolling the internet. I love those old sites and wouldn't want to change 'em, but I want to keep working on new things these days. Only problem I see is that some people are still living in the old days of much harsher mockery rather than just being playful and wanting to have fun conversations with people (old or new). I often wonder if I should either setup a forum just for the people who want to do nothing but troll/flame and if they do it in any of the other forums, issue warnings / bannings to 'em.

[Zhukov]

I've never been on the end of really harsh 'trolling', or maybe I have and it just never registered with me. I'll admit that some of the funniest things I have been have been the beat downs that have occured here, but also on the other hand there have been one or two really harsh things that I thought were a bit too much.

Still, I don't think I've ever seen a normal, reasonably intelligent and constructive person join the forums only to get berated on a personal level. Everyone might get a hazing, but it's all in fun, and if you are incredibly annoying and stupid, then you get what you deserve. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't think it's as bad as people have said, at least not what I have seen/experienced.

On a second note, yes please come back Jake.

Third: Round two also goes to Elx.

[Dimnos]

I was expecting Tadao vs Jake gold.

However....

Originally Posted by Mockery

I often wonder if I should either setup a forum just for the people who want to do nothing but troll/flame and if they do it in any of the other forums, issue warnings / bannings to 'em.

[Chojin]

Originally Posted by Mockery

So I guess that's why I have no interest in going back to the days of making mini-sites with the sole intention of trolling the internet. I love those old sites and wouldn't want to change 'em, but I want to keep working on new things these days. Only problem I see is that some people are still living in the old days of much harsher mockery rather than just being playful and wanting to have fun conversations with people (old or new). I often wonder if I should either setup a forum just for the people who want to do nothing but troll/flame and if they do it in any of the other forums, issue warnings / bannings to 'em.

Honestly, let's do this:

Set up a new site 'feature' that's meant for trolling and designed/run entirely by myself and other forum professionals (I-SERIOUSNESS)
We'll use that as a hub to create more trolling pages
Move these forums over there to that feature
Set I-Bapery skin to default
Create new forums and make article discussion the 'general blabber' of that one

In this way, you don't have to do stuff you're not interested in, you'll get more hits by proxy of my page, the vets will be happy, and newbies won't cry as hard.

[JakeOfAllTrades]

At least you understand. It's like a big relief to get this big weight off me. When I say I'm dedicating my book to you, I mean it. If none of this ever went down I never would have come up with the idea of a book about a (completely unrelated) flame war resulting in dire consequences/messed up ghost story in the first place. I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but I have sent part of it to a publisher, and they liked it, but they say it needs crafting. That's fair enough, at this age I'm still very young and very, very stupid.

The book is called Trollslayer, and it's about a half-German, half-Japanese Australian born named Ichi Tanizaki who has two war criminals for great grandfathers. As a result there's a curse that kills off internet trolls, but you'll have to read it to find out. Many of the references in the book aren't just towards Japanese culture, but towards Australian culture. So I'm going to put endnotes in to explain the Aussie references.

[ZeldaQueen]

Originally Posted by JakeOfAllTrades

The book is called Trollslayer, and it's about a half-German, half-Japanese Australian born named Ichi Tanizaki who has two war criminals for great grandfathers. As a result there's a curse that kills off internet trolls, but you'll have to read it to find out. Many of the references in the book aren't just towards Japanese culture, but towards Australian culture. So I'm going to put endnotes in to explain the Aussie references.

Sounds like there should be some fantasy RPG in there also.

Best of luck on your book though! Be sure to tell us if you get it published.

1. They need to come to a forum and apologise for... something that supposedly happened a year ago involving a ghost.

Wait, what happened in this flame war?

[Misdemonar]

GUYS IM SORRY THAT YOU HATE ME

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen

Wait, what happened in this flame war?

ZQ, just do a search on JakeOfAllTrades about 12-18 months ago, and be prepared with a hefty bottle of Scotch or Irish Whiskey.

Yes, it's that good.

[Zhukov]

Hey Jake, can I dedicate my book to you? It's called 'Listen to Metal Militia'.

[ZeldaQueen]

Sounds good!

Oh and hey Jake! If you want really good internet arguments, I can direct you to some of the more ridiculous ones I've seen on the Museum of Hoaxes board. Those mainly start out with people claiming Lifewave Patches work or that Illuminati plots are underway and end with the OPs cussing out the regular board members for using logic.

[elx]

Originally Posted by JakeOfAllTrades

At least you understand. It's like a big relief to get this big weight off me. When I say I'm dedicating my book to you, I mean it. If none of this ever went down I never would have come up with the idea of a book about a (completely unrelated) flame war resulting in dire consequences/messed up ghost story in the first place. I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but I have sent part of it to a publisher, and they liked it, but they say it needs crafting. That's fair enough, at this age I'm still very young and very, very stupid.

hi jake, i stopped reading your post here. publishers do not tend to accept unsolicited manuscripts, they get sent into a "slush pile" and are never responded to. no legitimate publisher would take half of your manuscript, read it and tell you it needs work.

you're lying. if you really did write a book and were serious about having it published then you would have researched it just a little and you would know that you would have to write query letters to literary agents who (if interested) would then request a copy of your manuscript. if they like it, they would then forward it to an editor or two, THEN your literary agent acting on your behalf would send copies of your manuscript out to publishing houses. that's standard procedure in australia, too. you would never even speak to a publisher unless they were interested in buying your book, i refuse to believe that any aspiring writer would not know that.

p.s- if jake is someones character then whoever occupying him should really put a little bit of work into it so it's not so obvious and disappointing.

[Evil Robot]

Hi guys, sorry i'm late in this thread but I found a threatening street sign I want you all to see!

Oh and Jake, HOLY SHIT YOU ARE THE MOST SENSITIVE "PERSON" EVER!!!! SERiously your being taunted by people on the internet who you will never meet and don't mean shit to you let alone the fact that their opinions don't men shit anywhere except here (barely).

Seriously Jake you gotta get in the FORCE TUBE and be more aggressively defensive with these fucks. Don't be afraid to threaten to set somebody's house on fire or stab them in the ass with a shovel.

Thank you for your time,
EVIL ROBOT RULES

[ZeldaQueen]

Originally Posted by elx

hi jake, i stopped reading your post here. publishers do not tend to accept unsolicited manuscripts, they get sent into a "slush pile" and are never responded to. no legitimate publisher would take half of your manuscript, read it and tell you it needs work.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't that depend on the publisher? I mean I'm sure the odds aren't great but it's still possible.

you're lying. if you really did write a book and were serious about having it published then you would have researched it just a little and you would know that you would have to write query letters to literary agents who (if interested) would then request a copy of your manuscript. if they like it, they would then forward it to an editor or two, THEN your literary agent acting on your behalf would send copies of your manuscript out to publishing houses. that's standard procedure in australia, too. you would never even speak to a publisher unless they were interested in buying your book, i refuse to believe that any aspiring writer would not know that.

Eh, like I said it depends on the literary agent/publisher. I've seen agents that want you to contact them first then send in samples and ones who want you to include a few pages straightaway. There are people who skip literary agents all together and people who publish their own work.

[elx]

Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't that depend on the publisher? I mean I'm sure the odds aren't great but it's still possible.

yes, i suppose it is possible but as you said it's not realistic. i should clarify, by publishers, i am referring specifically to reputable publishing houses. not exclusively major ones - just legitimate ones. if jake were as serious about writing as he portrays himself to be he would not have done that.

Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen

Eh, like I said it depends on the literary agent/publisher. I've seen agents that want you to contact them first then send in samples and ones who want you to include a few pages straightaway. There are people who skip literary agents all together and people who publish their own work.

i've also noticed this, they all seem to have various preferences, like for example some agents only accept query letters via snail-mail to deter those who are not serious about it. this way, it prevents them from being stuck on an email forwarding list of every single agent in the business. on the flip side, a lot of agents only accept email query letters because they're easier to keep track of (and possibly due to a fear of anthrax)
so yeah, as you said, it really just depends. the basic idea still stands though, if you want your book published, there is a proper way to have it done. jake would have known, a publisher would have known, therefore i don't believe this happened.

[Zhukov]

Do you know this because you are trying to get a book published, elx?

[captain516]

I was just about to make this thread.

[Tadao]

That's cheesy Jake, but at least it's got some originality to it. Glad to see you're not focused on one culture. The world is bigger than Japan.

[JakeOfAllTrades]

Originally Posted by Tadao

That's cheesy Jake, but at least it's got some originality to it. Glad to see you're not focused on one culture. The world is bigger than Japan.

You are so very right. In one part of the book the protagonist's German father teaches him some German swear words to shout angrily at people, just to mess with people's heads (he looks full Japanese so people assume the main character is just some Asian dude, so he comes to his German father for advice, and he gets what he asks for. That and there's nothing funnier than hipsters being put in their culturally close-minded place).