Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > General Blabber
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #26  
Helm Helm is offline
Mocker
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Mount Fuji
Helm is probably a spambot
Old Dec 24th, 2003, 01:02 AM       
No it's true that the moment of sexual release is probably one of the most intense people experience and you can't discredit that. When I at least say that sex is overrated I mean that it's overrated socially. I refuse to structure my life around sex, no matter how much the opposite choice has been impressed on me by society. I think sex is not such a big deal in the wider sense of what a man can do with life. But everybody digs an orgasm once in a while.

But if you mean that actual intercourse with a female can be an alltogether less than satisfying experience, regardless of orgasm then yeah I think I can agree with you, but you're still gay and with a small disfunctional penis
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Jixby Phillips Jixby Phillips is offline
Mocker
Jixby Phillips's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2000
Jixby Phillips is probably a spambot
Old Dec 24th, 2003, 06:10 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rongi
Sex is a lot like the movie Citizen Kain. Everyone rants how great it is and when you actually see it ( or, in the case of sex, have it ), you realize it's very overrated and you'll realize that everyone who loved it just say they do to sound smart ( or, in the case of sex, manly ).
ROYAL TENENBAUM
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Dole Dole is offline
Mocker
Dole's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Brighton & Motherfucking Hove
Dole is probably a spambot
Old Dec 24th, 2003, 06:29 AM       
It hurts so good
__________________
I don't get it. I mean, why did they fuck with the formula? Where are the car songs? There's only one song about surfing and it's a downer!
Reply With Quote
  #29  
CaptainBubba CaptainBubba is offline
xXxASPERGERSxXx
CaptainBubba's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
CaptainBubba is probably a spambot
Old Dec 24th, 2003, 10:11 AM       
I'm confused. So if I've never had sex before and someone tries to make sex with me should I hit her and try to get her off, or just do it because I kinda have to? I don't think I can make her wet because I don't think she'd like that very much.

Does it matter where I actually put my penis or is it just kind of tradtition or something?

I'm really afraid of how much its going to hurt now. But I know I have to eventually. Oh well. Thanks again.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
UP_SHUT UP_SHUT is offline
Member
UP_SHUT's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
UP_SHUT is probably a spambot
Old Dec 24th, 2003, 10:32 AM       
It'll only hurt when she bites your dick off.
__________________
I wish you guys didn't suck
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Suck 'n' Fuck Suck 'n' Fuck is offline
Senior Member
Suck 'n' Fuck's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: DEATH TO THE IMPERIALIST BIGWIGS
Suck 'n' Fuck is probably a spambot
Old Dec 24th, 2003, 11:01 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBubba
I'm confused. So if I've never had sex before and someone tries to make sex with me should I hit her and try to get her off, or just do it because I kinda have to? I don't think I can make her wet because I don't think she'd like that very much.

Does it matter where I actually put my penis or is it just kind of tradtition or something?
In all seriousness, this is why we need better sex ed in public schools. You can't just tell kids to abstain and that if you have sex you will get AIDS. They should teach you more than just how the plumbing works. You know, like what to do when a drunk chick wants to fuck you. That kind of thing.

Seriously, it's not funny when someone is this clueless about sex. It shows a serious lack of proper sex ed, and that's not good.
__________________
Steal this sig.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
rainbowbrite rainbowbrite is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
rainbowbrite is probably a spambot
Old Feb 1st, 2004, 11:55 PM       
Trust me on this one...i've had some experience. It doesn't hurt the guy at all. The girl will most likely be wet just thinking that she's about to have sex, so you dont have to worry about that. of course the first time i had sex the next day my balls hurt like no other . Good luck doooooood.
__________________
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Perndog Perndog is offline
Fartin's biggest fan
Perndog's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Snowland
Perndog is probably a spambot
Old Feb 2nd, 2004, 12:26 AM       
And we have a winner.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Dole Dole is offline
Mocker
Dole's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Brighton & Motherfucking Hove
Dole is probably a spambot
Old Feb 2nd, 2004, 06:42 AM       
"The girl will most likely be wet just thinking that she's about to have sex"

-assumptions like that are why sex is so shit for so many women.
__________________
I don't get it. I mean, why did they fuck with the formula? Where are the car songs? There's only one song about surfing and it's a downer!
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Terra Terra is offline
MAMA MIA!
Terra's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Terra is probably a spambot
Old Feb 2nd, 2004, 08:05 AM       
Man, don't have sex just because it's expected of you. If both of you are into it, she'll be wet enough and you'll be able to do her just fine. Plus, you'll have an idea where things fit once you *really* get into it with her.

Yeah, sometimes it's uncomfortable the next day (so I've been told) but my understanding is that it isn't like getting your nads kicked so don't worry. The girl is just as uncomfortable the next day too. But all that does is make you think of more sex so how bad can *that* be?

I *still* get a little sore the next day but it's been a while between guys. If it was a regular thing, it might be a different story.

Oh. And wear a rubber like the others said.

Good luck.

Tara
__________________
Oh fuck it
Reply With Quote
  #36  
rainbowbrite rainbowbrite is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
rainbowbrite is probably a spambot
Old Feb 2nd, 2004, 12:04 PM       
Terra's right

SHE'S MY HERO
__________________
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."
Reply With Quote
  #37  
CaptainBubba CaptainBubba is offline
xXxASPERGERSxXx
CaptainBubba's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
CaptainBubba is probably a spambot
Old Feb 10th, 2004, 09:07 PM       
Cmon guys. I really have to have this info. I need it. I might have to have sex soon.

What do I do if I accidentally go in her stomache and hit her insides? Do girls like that? Should I make noise? Should I know CPR? Do I have to wear a tie? I'm clueless. Just lay everything about sex on me.

Especially those of you who've donw it before. And don't skimp on talking about how you've done it before. Go off on a tangent and talk about the experience if you want. In detail. Especially the part where you say something really witty that "seals the deal" right ladies?

Thanks for the advice so far. It'll really help when the time comes I think.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Terra Terra is offline
MAMA MIA!
Terra's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Terra is probably a spambot
Old Feb 10th, 2004, 09:23 PM       
Believe me, all the fumbling in the world isn't going to prevent you from reaching your eventual goal with her. Just follow your instincts and her prompts (even if she's a virgin too, she'll have an idea of what goes where).

You don't need to know CPR and you won't get lost up in her body cavity. It's called "plumbing" and it all fits together really well.

You'll see.
__________________
Oh fuck it
Reply With Quote
  #39  
AChimp AChimp is offline
Resident Chimp
AChimp's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The Jungles of Borneo
AChimp is probably a real personAChimp is probably a real person
Old Feb 10th, 2004, 09:58 PM       
No he won't, because I heard that people have to make sex in the DARK.
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Karl Hungus Karl Hungus is offline
Member
Karl Hungus's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: NOT FUNNY.
Karl Hungus is probably a spambot
Old Feb 10th, 2004, 10:12 PM       
Quote:
No he won't, because I heard that people have to make sex in the DARK.
My life wasn't complete until I read that, thank you sir. I may now die happy
__________________


duncan don't play that
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Terra Terra is offline
MAMA MIA!
Terra's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Terra is probably a spambot
Old Feb 10th, 2004, 11:01 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by AChimp
No he won't, because I heard that people have to make sex in the DARK.
Night goggles always help in this case. Plus it's erotic.
__________________
Oh fuck it
Reply With Quote
  #42  
theapportioner theapportioner is offline
Mocker
theapportioner's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
theapportioner is probably a spambot
Old Feb 10th, 2004, 11:09 PM       
Just go to your neighborhood red light district and pick up a dozen or so hookers, you'll be a sexpert in no time :thumbsup

PS - avoid the junkies and wear your rubbers!!
Reply With Quote
  #43  
theapportioner theapportioner is offline
Mocker
theapportioner's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
theapportioner is probably a spambot
Old Feb 10th, 2004, 11:15 PM       
Also, when she's not expecting it, stick it up her butt. Girls love that shit!!
Reply With Quote
  #44  
executioneer executioneer is offline
OH GOD
executioneer's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2001
executioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contestexecutioneer won the popularity contest
Old Feb 10th, 2004, 11:20 PM       
Quote:
wear your rubbers
THIS IS BAD ADVICE YOU WONT ENJOY IT IF YOU WEAR MORE THAN ONE

-willie
__________________
[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
Reply With Quote
  #45  
theapportioner theapportioner is offline
Mocker
theapportioner's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
theapportioner is probably a spambot
Old Feb 10th, 2004, 11:28 PM       
You might want to consider a scrotum/groin condom too. 25% of sexually active Americans have genital herpes, and 75% of sexually active adults will get genital warts sometime in their lives!!!
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Anonymous Anonymous is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Anonymous is probably a spambot
Old Feb 11th, 2004, 02:57 AM       
Condoms kinda suck bad. When I have to use a temporary contraceptive, I use a VCF (Vaginal Contraceptive Film). You fold it up, drive it home, then wait 15 minutes for the hole to start foaming and hissing. That's when you dive on in!
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Ghost of Fraiser Ghost of Fraiser is offline
Senior Member
Ghost of Fraiser's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: NILES, I AM TRYING TO TAKE A MINERAL BATH
Ghost of Fraiser is probably a spambot
Old Feb 11th, 2004, 04:01 AM       
foaming and hissing, are you sure you just didnt drop a tab of alka seltzer in there?
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #48  
ItalianStereotype ItalianStereotype is offline
Legislacerator
ItalianStereotype's Avatar
Join Date: May 2002
Location: HELL, where all hot things are
ItalianStereotype is probably pretty okItalianStereotype is probably pretty okItalianStereotype is probably pretty okItalianStereotype is probably pretty okItalianStereotype is probably pretty ok
Old Feb 11th, 2004, 04:15 AM       
I don't have sex anymore because I respect my body. now we just wave at each other from across the room! :o
__________________
I could just scream
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Terra Terra is offline
MAMA MIA!
Terra's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Terra is probably a spambot
Old Feb 11th, 2004, 08:40 AM       
I did that too with an old BF.

We got to the point that we just sent spitwads to each other across the classroom.

Safest sex I ever had until he almost put my eye out with one well lobbed spitwad.
__________________
Oh fuck it
Reply With Quote
  #50  
SMN SMN is offline
Cupcake Composer
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Portland,OR
SMN is probably a spambot
Old Feb 11th, 2004, 08:50 AM       
Heres some advice. Plan it out! Have a "Sexual Strategy", and then go to work. Good luck
__________________
Should it be pulsating like that?
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:28 PM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.