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  #101  
mburbank mburbank is offline
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 12:09 PM       
I think it takes a lot of intelligent and tact to USE THE WRONG DAMN WORDS ALL THE TIME!

And I think it's sweet that your concept of God thinks believing in Him is more important than leading a good life, in fact SO important that he'd put people in a alke of fire for enternity. Cause, see, that seems more like something an ignorant, vendictive half man like you would do. You know, as opposed to a supreme being.


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  #102  
ziggytrix ziggytrix is offline
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 12:35 PM       
Vince would sure be suprised to know that whole "lake of fire" thing is just a gimmick to keep the tourists out.
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  #103  
Sethomas Sethomas is offline
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 12:36 PM       
I'm a bit alienated here, because I'm a staunch Catholic. Vince is a hell of a long way away from being a Catholic mouthpiece because his piece-of-shit attitudes put him in direct contradiction of Catholic philosophy and liberalism. Vince is not a Catholic, he is a complete tool with the good fortune of having been raised Catholic.

They (OK, not all, but Catholicism in general) are such paganistic, ritualistic idol worshippers that have corrupted the teachings of the Bible for their millions of followers.

Bullshit. If you want to argue this point, I'll meet you in a new thread. Otherwise, suffice it to say that this is protestant-born slander based in simpleton misconceptions.

In fact, many of the things that they do are in direct violation of the Bible. How quaint.

I find it quaint that other denominations claim we misuse the Bible, when it's painfully obvious that the New Testament was written and compiled by the Roman Catholic Church itself. Funny how fundamentalists conveniently ignore that fact.
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  #104  
ziggytrix ziggytrix is offline
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 12:50 PM       
Grr. I want to respond in this thread Seth, but it IS a whole other kettle of fish.

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=4559

I plan to get really blasphemous too.
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  #105  
WorthlessLiar WorthlessLiar is offline
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 05:10 PM        re: zero
Zero, just had to comment on some things you said including the response to my post a few pages back. Meant to do it sooner.

In fact, many of the things that they do are in direct violation of the Bible. How quaint.

Who said the sum teachings of the Bible are good? No one can really agree on the real message. Are we supposed to listen to Jesus when he says to love others as he loved the world, or when he condemns non-believers? There is no conisistent ideology that can be fitted to the Bible. That's why only hypocritical pragmatists like Vinth can follow it literally.

Earlier you remarked that violence on behalf of religion is man's fault. I think you do have a point here, man is ultimately responsible for his actions. However, you must admit that the circumstances in the instance I provided are somewhat different than the usual "why do bad things happen" argument. While most wars are the result of man's own failings the crusades and similar events, although perpetuated by man, would not have been possible without JC's words.
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  #106  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 08:51 PM       
When does he condemn the non-believers? Book, Chapter, verse?
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  #107  
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 08:56 PM        the verse
John 14:6
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  #108  
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 09:49 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by VinceZeb
Belief in God takes more intelligent, tact, and willpower than not beliving in God. Being an atheist is too easy. It helps us feel good so we can go about our days doing what we want, without conquences, like homosexuality, promiscuity, robbery, etc.
I can't figure out whether your statement is ironic, or whether you're now an atheist, in which case it wouldn't be ironic. I mean, since all us atheists engage in homosexual acts, promiscuity and robbery. Yeah, everyone knows homosexuality is totally immoral.
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  #109  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 09:57 PM       
"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

That's not condemning, condemning=bad things.
I read that whole chapter while I was at it, in olde english no less. I never realized how much they all Lithped back in the olde days. And they say the World has gone gay..
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  #110  
CaptainBubba CaptainBubba is offline
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Old Jul 3rd, 2003, 09:57 PM       
I made this comic a little more than a week ago.

Everything we come up with that involves the metaphysical world might as well be random. It holds absolutley no meaning in the context of a world with infinite possible scenarios which none of us have ANY IDEA AT ALL about.

Thats basically what my comic sums up. If you feel the same way I do it might even be humorous.
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  #111  
pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Jul 4th, 2003, 06:10 AM       
VINCE

I want to ask you a couple of questions here and I'll be as clear as possible.

You recently defined a good Christian. Not only is there nothing in the Bible or, as far as I know, in the Catholic dogma that backs up your definition of a Christian, this definition also sounds more like a breed of atomic supermen than anything else. I would like to know how you can criticize everyone else and sentence them to hell for not literally following the Bible while you yourself have redefined the Bible until it no longer resembles anything from the belief system you claim to be a part of.

Furthermore, I want to ask you why you were compelled to define a good Christian as everything you are not. I will, as I have said before, give you that you have willpower, but so does Saddam. Willpower is not a genetic trait exclusive to Christians. You also say that Christians are intelligent and tactful. These, again, are not traits exclusive to Christians, and they also are attributes that do not in any way apply to yourself. I could go on forever and still not convince you you are a moron, but even you have to see that you have no tact. You are in fact the very embodyment of tactlessness. You blurt out a constant firework of ignorant insults and unfounded and highly inaccuratre accusations.

To make this easy for you, I have condensed the paragraphs above to simple questions:

1: Why are you in a position to redefine the meaning of the word 'Christian'?

2: Why would you define a good Christian as the opposite of yourself?

I think these are reasonable questions, and I ask you to answer them as well as you can. I have tried to make everything crystal clear, but if you feel I'm being vague anywhere please do not hesitate to ask me to explain further. To make this even easier for you, I will also list the two possible directions you can take when answering:

A: Crushing my points with though-out and well-founded arguments.

B: Admitting you were wrong.

To make this EVEN EASIER STILL, I will now list other directions you can take. I will accept any as the following as forms of alternative B:

B.1: Calling me names.

B.2: Telling me to go fuck myself.

B.3: Telling me to come fuck you.

B.4: Writing a sentence that is not a sentence at all, hoping everyone will give you the benefit of doubt.

B.5: Giving answers that completely fail to apply to the original questions.

B.6: Telling me you've got better things to do than hanging around with losers and then go ahead and post vomit in 40 other threads.

B.7: Refraining from answering at all.

What do you say?

EDIT: I would like to add that if you should admit the stupidity in your outburst, there will be no victory dance. The only thing that will come from me in this hypothetical scenario is a teensy weensy bit of respect. I'm sure you wouldn't give a fuck about the respect of anyone on this board, but that's all I have to offer.
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  #112  
Protoclown Protoclown is offline
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Old Jul 4th, 2003, 10:31 AM       
Ooooh, now that's just good.
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  #113  
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Old Jul 5th, 2003, 03:03 AM       
To my dear child Vincent Zebediah

Since I am an abstract concept, I am appearing to you in a form you can comprehend: a submarine letter. Or rather, a submarine post. I would normally send My trusty Metatron, but this being the general staff holiday he's unavailable, and after all the criticism directed towards the film Contact, I no longer appear in the form of one of your loved ones. Boy, did I get to hear it from Raguel after the premiere of that one. He's a good Vengeance, but sometimes he just doesn't get when a joke is worn out.

Anyhoo, it has been brought to My attention that this I-Mockery board has just been swept clean with your hiney. I would like to remind you that a good Christian will always be humble and admit his mistakes. It's in the Bible, you know. Lying will not help you in this case, neither does it seem to have helped you in the past: I browsed through the old threads to do some background research, and let Me just say pew-eeeee, the smell of hogwash blows all the way to Mount Ararat and back. I would like to refer to one of My own commandments. I'd tell you which page in the Bible it's from, but My copy is in Hebrew as well as abstract and I don't think the page number is the same in the King James version. Anyway, it goes like this: 'Thou shalt not lie.' I would also like to point out that telling people that you were given a so-called hand job by a prostitute does not give you cred points neither in heaven nor on this board. I didn't bother to read through all the board guidelines (that thing is freaking long, pardon My French), but I'm pretty sure.

Furthermore, I would like to point out that when Junior said 'Love thy neighbor' (or did I say that? It's been a couple of thousand years), he did not mean you should try to 'love' your actual neighbor Janice. This is just a way of saying that everyone is equal and that you should treat everyone with love and respect, including those now-dead Iraqi children you said you didn't care about as long as the WMDs were found. You know, those you lied about caring about when you tried to convince Proto the attack on Iraq was a good thing. And by the way, I checked with My God Vision, and the 'WMD's were just some cosmic dirt on the satellite lens. I tried to tell W about this, but he just said 'Dirt schmirt, those look a-ok to me. Say, could you give me one of those things you stand on and they drive forward? The Greecian president has one.' He should be more careful what he asks for

What I'm getting at is this: now is your chance to shape up. Admit you're a terrible Christian and get a fresh start. And when I say 'terrible Christian', I don't mean like those altar boy raping priests. Those are terrible PEOPLE. With 'terrible Christian', I mean that you suck at being one. So seize this opportunity with both hands, my child. And what's the deal with Christians having special magical willpower? Sheesh, give - me - a - break.

Your loving Father in Heaven,
God/Yaweh
Po.box 777
Heaven

PS. Please stop telling people they're going to hell. That's my job. I don't tell you how to be an inflated windbag, you don't tell me how to be the final judge.

PPS. Please tell Rog to stop praying for the Mermen to become a real-life race. I'm no Lucas, THIS is the definitive version of Creation. Plus, Mattel would sue My sorry Ass

PPPS. How many posts do you need to get those titles under your name?

PPPPS. OMG your'e avatur sux lol (Sorry, Noah said I should try to fit in. Am I 'teh secks' yet?)
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  #114  
pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Jul 5th, 2003, 06:57 AM       
What's the matter, Vince? Crap got your tongue? I see you keep posting in other threads, maybe you've overlooked this one? Let me bump it for you. Also note that I've added more answer alternatives for you.
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  #115  
pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 03:40 AM       
All right, B.7 it is.

Sorry about the hijack, people.
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  #116  
VinceZeb VinceZeb is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 08:03 AM       
Maybe if I thought you were important enough to answer, then I would answer your question
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  #117  
pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 08:49 AM       
B.6, then?

Honestly, do you think ANYONE on this board doesn't see that you have no idea whatsoever how to get your ass out of the pickle jar?
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  #118  
VinceZeb VinceZeb is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 09:01 AM       
I dont feel like devoting the time and patience to answer a question that has no bearing in my life whatsoever.
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  #119  
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 09:05 AM       
Yup it's B6 alright.
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  #120  
kellychaos kellychaos is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 09:31 AM       
Vinth is an internet troll program.
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  #121  
pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 09:40 AM       
I'm not really sure, it may be B.1. Hard to tell.

Vince, how can you say that a post regarding your very life philosophy has no bearing in your life', while you actually spend hours tracking down stupid reports about European methane exhaust and then bitch for days about how this makes Europe stupid?
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  #122  
Yaweh Yaweh is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 09:51 AM       
Yeah, Vince, stop being a jackass.

Love, God.
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  #123  
Yaweh Yaweh is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 09:52 AM       
Double post. I'm infallible, so there's probably something wrong with the board. Better look into it, Rog.

Is it infallable, by the way?

Love, God
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  #124  
Helm Helm is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 09:58 AM       
Yaweh, who should be I think Yahweh should not double post. Thank you.
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  #125  
pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Jul 7th, 2003, 10:13 AM       
I think it maybe just is his board nick.
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