Jul 23rd, 2005, 04:45 AM
Alot of things have cleared up for me.
A quick note, my step-mother has only been living in my Dads house for eight months, it was about a month ago that they were wed.
One, after being given the choice between being kicked out by my step-mother or working as hard as I could under my Dad's new rules after I challenged his ways of parenting, I moved out. My sister knew I could stay at her house and she even wanted me to move out. I know what was wrong in that house now. Both my Dad and Mother were not parents. They weren't parents at all. My Dad was the one who brought home money and tried to find a hobby between me and my brother and my Mom was just a friend. So for 20 years of my life, I didn't have a parent, just friends. I was never taught to work or get a job, I never bothered to learn to get a job and was never encouraged to get one unless it was on my own accord. Since my Dad treated and let us treat him as just a thing that brought money, I was never really compelled to go out and find a job. It wasn't until my step-mother started putting pressure on me did I start looking for a job. I live in Oregon, one of the most economically drought states. For eight months I was told to get a job. I was to balance community college and unspoken chores (Because they were what my Dad and step-mother wanted.) The only job I managed to get was one that was promoted and payed by employment services. It only lasted three days because of overstaffing. I went home sick one of the days because I ate something bad the other night, and no, it wasn't the team leader's choice to send me home. Either way, the step-mother freaked out and punished me for losing the job which is even more absurd since all I ever said was that I went home sick one day. Not a single bit more investigation other than me telling them I went home sick.
My sister and her spouse both were kind enough to lend me a home until the Job Corp pulls through, which I should be hearing from soon since they just got out of summer break. It's pretty fucking horrible to know that my step-mother wasn't willing to let me wait out until I left for Job Corp. (I haven't gotten the note of acceptence yet, but I fit all of the categories perfectly.) I hardly took any food, I bought most of my snacks with the remaining money from my first job which I was slowly widdling down. Alot of the times they would have leftovers, so there wasn't anyone going hungry.
My Dad is horribly co-dependent and since my step-mother was the opposite of my Mother, they got along perfectly. Well, the problem lies here is that the moment my step-mother came into the picture, my Dad immediately ignored my side of the family. The only time he would even care is if we were actually out and about crying. Any signs of stress were called off on his bullshit excuse of parenting "They'll be angry but they'll thank you later." It was bullshit because my Dad took it in like a literal doofus. It didn't matter what would have been the best choice to go with in order to teach us to be on our own. If we were stressed, then it was working. God damn I want to fucking punch him in the mouth if he ever brings up that fucking thought again.
My step-mother is manipulative or so my sister's spouse says so. He's been under the same trouble of being kicked out I have over a simple tatoo. He's watched her and said that she fits the character. I have this doubt since it might be the same with me on getting a job that it was for her when it came to trying to help me. We were given advice, but we didn't really use it until near the end. She didn't realize we didn't have consequences when growing up, she didn't realize that my Dad was doing double standards when it came to being open minded when speaking. Though, I do see why she is manipulative. One, she managed to get me with such bullshit as "It was his choice" when it came to her speaking her mind. Basically she wanted the grand-kids to come in and see the new bird they got for a bird that was already there (You know, the social animal thing), but my sister's spouse said no because he was respecting my sister's wishes (She has tried to keep a relationship with her Dad, she still wants one, but he's bull headed with no respect for other people's beliefs or rules and the step-mother is a fucking cunt.) When she was told "no" after the second time, she said "Don't be a jerk." When I brought it up during a talk with her before I got some final things out of my room, she said the bs excuse of "It's his choice" which I actually fell for a moment. It wasn't until I was at my sister's house reflecting did I realize what she said. Hell, she gets defensive the moment something feels "twisted against her." Shit, it wasn't until she started pulling the threat of kicking me out did she start saying "We work hard for our money." The main evidence for it though is my Dad, who was constantly smoking and drinking mountain dew. The step-mother got him to quit for awhile but when he started back up she would berate him. There's absolutely no mountain dew in the house. Hell, one time my sister was drawn out during a dinner when she asked the step-mother why she was stressed and told "leave her alone" by my Dad, even though the step-mother had already clearly said it.
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