Features

Uncle Otto · #1

(Discounting Sabbath, of course, as they are the fathers of doom and you'd reveal yourself to be a right arse if you included them in a poll devoted to their children)

1. Cathedral- "Forest of Equilibrium"
2. Disembowelment- "Transcend the Peripheral"
3. Electric Wizard- "Dopethrone"
4. St. Vitus- "Born Too Late"
5. Warning- "The Strength to Dream"
6. Candlemass- "Nightfall" (yes, it's better than EDM!)
7. The Obsessed- "Lunar Womb"
8. Unholy- "The 3rd Ring of Power"
9. Skepticism- "Stormcrowfleet"
10. The S-Club 7 "Any of their albums"-- enough to drive one into the bosom of the bottle... at least.

Helm · #2

Cathedral- "Forest of Equilibrium" Yes.
Disembowelment- "Transcend the Peripheral" No. Candlemass' - Epicus Doomicus Metallicus.
Electric Wizard- "Dopethrone" No. Come my Fanatics.
St. Vitus- "Born Too Late" Yes.
Warning- "The Strength to Dream" Yes.
Candlemass- "Nightfall" (yes, it's better than EDM!) yes.
The Obsessed- "Lunar Womb" No. Psalm 9 by Trouble.
Unholy- "The 3rd Ring of Power" haha, no. Solstice's debut.
Skepticism- "Stormcrowfleet" Haven't heard.
The S-Club 7 "Any of their albums"-- enough to drive one into the bosom of the bottle... at least. Oh yeah.

Uncle Otto · #3

I would include the Solstice debut, were it not for those dreadful vocals! Moz Ingram on "New Dark Age" was better, I feel; now Tom Phillips has apparently taken on the vocal duties in a reformed Solstice...
Don't you think Disembowelment belongs? Perhaps not on a trad/epic list, but they don't really fit into the atmo/doom-death category either.
By all means look for all releases by Skepticism- if you like early Shape of Despair, you'll like this band as well.
I could simply never get into Trouble- for that sort of creaky proto-doom stuff I always preferred Pentagram.

slavemason · #4

Uncle Otto, It doesn't seem like there are too many people interested in music around here. There's a metal bar near me that has some pretty fucked up sounding bands; Goatwhore, Cannibal Corpse, Deicide, etc... Their website has a forum, if you were interested.
If you work up a 20 rules to hardcore , please include that a real "Pit" is in a counter clockwise circle. Not a fucking figure eight.

Uncle Otto · #5

Yeah, send us over the forum link. Cheers.
No more 'Real Men' type lists from me- that was too easy!
Like baiting very, very dumb fish... some of these people need to look up 'sarcasm', 'fun', and 'uptight' in the dictionary nearest them.
About pit etiquette- the hardcore and old punks had it right. Go to a mainstream metal show these days and all you see are bespectacled geeks throwing their wannabe karate-kick styles...

CastroMotorOil · #6

otto that is pretty true, the old timers at the board look first at your post number and the ndecide weather or nto they wil lliek your post. If it is sacastic they will assume it is true, pretty gullible eh?

Malevolent · #7

It has nothing to do with post count. It has to do with actually being witty and entertaining. Your 'Real Man' list, whether taken seriously or as sarcasm, was unfunny and just plain idiotic. Then there's your thread dedicated to me. You did a fine job establishing yourself as another dumbass to be ignored in that one.

Professor Poddar · #8

Jeffrey,
Calm down.

"3-Step Program To Calm Down":
1. Roll Spliff
2. Light said article
3. Smoke said article

An additional "3 Ways to Unwind":
1. Acquire dodgy Swedish porn from equally dodgy vendor
2. Wank like it's D-Day
3. Walk away from the situation feeling as though a weight had been lifted from your shoulders; repeat twice, thrice, or even more as necessary.

If you're STILL feeling a bit tense, you might
1. Have a chat and a cuppa with your gram
2. Gather asters by the brook
3. Fish
4. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, torment a poor Indian kid you'd been friends with for years
5. Listen to said Indian's fucking mad scheme to buy a shopping center
6. Frolic to and fro as one seemingly inhabited with the Ghost of Jesus (not recommended)
7. Buy an S-Club 7 cd and listen to it daily

Failing these, your on your own.

Malevolent · #9

No. Hell no. This isn't who I think it is. This is Apportioner trying to fuck with me. I'm not biting.

Professor Poddar · #10

I am not he. I am who I am, I'm not who I'm not, and I'm certainly not Apportitioner. Why did you ignore me that night I was in my mini-van, when I honked at you and you pretended not to know me?

To know me is to know, however briefly, the cosmos.
I am all, I am none. This is no riddle, but rather a declaration of my all, of my nothingness. Praise be to the guru, to Vishnu, to all, to no one.

If we all put our metaphorical apple pies in the oven at the appointed hour, there'd be no need for dinner.

Malevolent · #11

Not buying it. I told several people about the minivan incident. If you are who you say you are, tell me exactly where it was that I saw you.

Professor Poddar · #12

We were heading on 495-North, having just entered on the 114 exit. You pretended not to notice me, but with my heightened mental faculties, I scried into your mind's eye and then knew that you had indeed observed me!
I am professor of all-- lord of the earthy demesne; cosmic king; Hindu Herald!

Malevolent · #13

Actually, it was 110 East off of 93 North, but good try!

Professor Poddar · #14

Do not attempt to deceive me with your games! Only I-- a bona fide philosopher king-- can successfully alter the time-space dimensional stream! The events occurred where I SAY they did!
Aba and Bimmel would never let me drive down 110... and you know that! Why were you always so rude to my parents? Aba so often offered you gifts of Indian rice, chapatis, vindaloo, and korma!

Malevolent · #15

Dude, you hate your parents! They always tried to get us to get you to go to college... so they could move away while you were gone. You would've come home to an empty house if the plan worked. We didn't go along with it because we knew you'd end up asking to live with one of us.

Professor Poddar · #16

A tear in the eternal fabric, that was...
My name is Professor Poddar, and I demand to be heard!

I am simply above schooling... education? Why? I am the intellectual heir to Aristotle.

I don't need to work. Maybe you do. I'd rather volunteer at Video Island; I prefer chatting with the nice folks there, even if they DO refuse to pay me.

Carnivore · #17

Dude, you absolutely must go to Loveline and start a thread about how arranged marriages are a good thing!

Professor Poddar · #18

I've got to go,
but I wanted to say that it kind of is unfortunate how things ended up between us. At one time we were friends, and then we... weren't. I'm not saying it's anyone's fault. I suppose time simply changed things. But you are still a cool, good person- even though you know how I feel all things to be relative and thus ultimately meaningless. I know you all thought me arrogant and clueless, but.... I can't explain. I am BEYOND everyday concerns- that isn't meant to sound arrogant, simply truthful. I meditate, I ponder, I wonder, I worry. Nothing matters, just as it all matters.
I plan to be a regular around here. And sorry, Jeff, if I made an unseemly entrance. I simply wanted to see how long it took you to figure out who I was. Once I typed in "Professor Poddar", of course, it was a dead giveaway.
Good night, I'm sure we can post back and forth more in the near future.

R.

Dixie · #19

maybe it's just me but i also think that while heaven wept's newer release should definitely be in the top 10 of the most awesome doom albums ever.

Big Papa Goat · #20

"3-Step Program To Calm Down":
1. Roll Spliff
2. Light said article
3. Smoke said article"

Article

thats priceless
I had nothing to contribute though really, please carry on with whatever this thread is about

Grazzt · #21

You fucknut. Don't you know you never dredge up threads THIS old?

kahljorn · #22

i love electric wizard, I am listening to them now. Dopethrone is nice, I like their earlier ones. ST is cool, if more Stoner Rock than doom. Then the one with we are, we are undead. I don't think I have come all my fanatics

I got thy grief eternal let us pray ST and Dopethrone.

Helm · #23

Electric Wizard's best album is easily Come My Fanatics. Get it.

And while heaven wept are nice yes. We should probably include some Winter in that list.