Your weirdest dreams?

[ZeldaQueen]

I once dreamt that I was a werewolf, jumping around and running through an old building. It was really great! I just watched Van Helsing, so that's probably where it came from.

[darkvare]

i've been having apocalyptic dreams this whole week two of them were alien invasions one was atomic war and the other was some weird instanr explosion :/

[Kitsa]

I wish I'd never read that fucked-up fanfic yesterday because I dreamed about a drunk slutty chick being gangbanged by a hockey team at a party And then I woke up with a headache.

[Skulhedface]

There's your problem right there. "Fanfic." Most fanfics are basically written expressions of Rule 34, and should probably be killed by stabbing.

I think I read an article about that on Cracked. It's pretty disturbing to read about Picard and whoever Agent Smith played in Lord of the Rings.

[Kitsa]

Well, I don't make a habit of it, it came up in a search when I was looking up some hockey stats. I couldn't believe hockey erotic fanfic existed so I read it. Holy fucking shit was it weird.

[Skulhedface]

I couldn't believe hockey erotic fanfic existed so I read it

Google Rule 34. I can't BEGIN to tell you how often my childhood's been raped. Maybe I shouldn't be reading Encyclopedia Dramatica.

[Kitsa]

Well, as I told someone last night, I was just imagining one of these guy's (guys'?) girlfriend or wife googling their name, you know, seeing what people were saying about them, and running into...

"Like Kris Russell, Vyborny was quiet, hardly ever showed anger, hardly ever got sent to the penalty box, was soft-spoken, and very polite. You couldn't find any words to say when he closed the door, still holding your hand, and pulled you closer to him. "Don't tell Irena about this," was his only comment (Irena was his wife) before brushing your hair away from your face, and planting small, delicate kisses over your neck and face. You felt like you were going to fall over from shock. You had never imagined being locked in a closet with David Vyborny. You literally felt your knees collapse underneath you when Vyborny moved away from you neck and onto your lips. Without knowing what you were doing, you almost immediately parted your lips. Vyborny laughed into your mouth, but all the same entered his tongue. You were just beginning to wrap your arms around his neck, when "Time's up!" You groaned, to Vyborny's amusement, but the two of you walked out of the closet, both of you with slightly red cheeks and lips. You tried to ignore Rusty's suspicious eyes."


...although, now that I think about it, I don't know if I take exception to or am relieved by the fact that when the "interlude" with my personal favorite player (Leclaire) came along, he was portrayed as a half-retarded, lamb-eating doofus manboy. I don't know where that falls in terms of personal dignity, though. It could go either way...you escape some looney woman's virtual rape, but at what cost?

[ZeldaQueen]

I don't mind fanfiction...when it's thought out and well written. Not used as an outlet for someone's strange sexual fantasies. One of my LOZ friends found one a girl wrote shortly after she (the writer) started having "lucid" dreams in which she was Princess Zelda's best friend and having a sexual relationship with Link. I could not "x" out of that screen fast enough. Oy.

On topic, I haven't really been dreaming as much lately. Maybe I should eat more before I go to bed. I kind of like having weird dreams...

[Kitsa]

I had a (very) brief job professionally writing "adult literature" under a pseudonym. I quit because it was just too damn weird.

[ZeldaQueen]

Seriously? As strange as that might sound, I'm somewhat impressed (I'm hoping to get a job as a writer also). But yeah, I could see where that'd get weird. Kind of reminds me of the novel the secretary writes in "Ten Things I Hate About You".

[Kitsa]

Never saw that show. But I have learned from experience that various "glamorous" occupations aren't all they're cracked up to be.

[Kitsa]

I dreamed last night that I was in this immense grocery store. It was so big that we used gas-powered shopping carts and there were on-ramps to get to aisles. The on-ramps were just like aisles, same tile floor and high racks of merchandise, just curved. I was speeding down an on-ramp and saw two things I wanted....chocolate rice cakes and raisin cream pies (do those even exist outside the American South?). But they were like a mile back by the time I realized I saw them, so I had to get off my cart and walk back.

The bizarre Blue Jackets dreams continue. I wish I'd never read that fanfic

[ZeldaQueen]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

Never saw that show. But I have learned from experience that various "glamorous" occupations aren't all they're cracked up to be.

The movie's based off of the Shakespear play The Taming of the Shrew, only it's in modern times set with teenagers in a high school. Heath Ledger actually played Patrick (the Petruchio counterpart).

I once read this book on superstitions/beliefs held by various ancient cultures. One section was about Dobu Island, the inhabitants of which were once studied and described as paranoid and obsessed with black magic.

Anyway, point is that one night, I had this nightmare that I was at my house and frightened of something called the "Phantom Barber", who would sneak up behind you and cut your hair. It seemed scary in the dream. Anyway, the Phantom Barber was only ever seen at Dobu Island, but my dream self had my irrational fears, so I was freaked out by it. In my dream, a girl I knew from school was sleeping over for some unknown reason. Also, the floor of my room was littered with doll house items (I remember a little cup among them). The last thing I remember was that I had a clay model of an island that I was doing a report on. The island had wild horses that would spend the day running across the island, sinking into the ground as they went. At the end of the day, they would reach the other end of the island and die.

I was so scared after that dream, my parents forbid me to read any more "paranormal" books.

[executioneer]

Originally Posted by Skulhedface

Maybe I shouldn't be reading Encyclopedia Dramatica.

MAYBE?

[peroxiwhizz]

Giant cabbage with fangs....... nuff said.

[Shrubfest]

Woke up in the night to go to the loo, and thought 'oh, I'll have to try not to wake my friends up'.

Took me a good 5 mins to realize they weren't in my house, haven't been to my house for a while, and i wasn't going to wake anyone up. Very confused.

[Kitsa]

I had some sort of bizarro dream that played like a sci-fi movie.

I was part of a group of people going to elementary school. I walked along the sidewalk in a sunny suburban area and met a man who was rolling out big mats of red mulch in his yard. Sometimes they'd be shaped like barrels and he'd flip them and they'd go flat like carpet, others were discs he'd toss.

Anyway, I told him I hated mulch because it had spiders and scorpions in it, and he agreed. Somehow a small red spider got out of the mulch and bit the inside of my lower lip, and I looked down and there was a creature that was either a scorpion or a baby chameleon, I couldn't tell. I hurried on.

A girl I'd known in jr high in real life passed me in a small silver sportscar. She was driving really fast and almost looked like a nuisance, but then the man in the yard called out that her car was remarkable because it made absolutely no noise or vibration. And I realized it was true.

So I got to school and I can't remember anything that happened there, other than going into the bathrooms and there being 1970s India hygiene posters all over and the walls looking like a bombed-out building.

Suddenly there was some sort of panic, some sort of disaster, and all of the kids are running to the school buses to be evacuated. Teachers are screaming at kids to get on the buses. I'm about to when the girl I knew from junior high, the one who'd driven the silver sportscar, grabbed my hand and pulled me away.

So I run with her across the parking lot toward her car, and somehow I'm aware that doing this, not getting on the buses, is going to save our lives and that all of the people on the school buses will die.

And then I woke up.

I didn't even drink yesterday.

[ZeldaQueen]

Wow. That sounds like the setup for a story/tv series.

[ZeldaQueen]

Okay, very strange dream last night.

The dream started with me sitting on/near a garbage can at some street somewhere. There were these two guys that I never saw before in real life, but in the dream they were familiar. The one kept begging me to give up some drug habit that I evidently had in the dream and go with him to my old high school. The production of Beauty and the Beast was opening tonight and I was going to miss the pre-show pep talk the director always gives.

I agreed and we started to run to the high school. For some reason, we took a shortcut through some woods that, in real life, would have taken us the opposite way we wanted to go. Also, for some reason I had no shoes or socks on and the woods were full of spiders and other such bugs (huge ones I mean). I was too freaked out to walk/run through, so I slid on my butt, as it was all downhill.

When we got out of the woods, we ran down the road. At this point in time, I realized that I was also missing my Comparative Religions class, but I decided that the musical was more important to me than the show.

When I got to the school, I'd missed the pep talk. I knew though that there would still be a little time for me to change and get ready, depending on when the first chorus number was. I realized then that I couldn't remember the score, choreography, or songs for the musical. I turned to ask the boy (who'd turned into a little girl I used to tutor) what the first chorus number was. Then I remembered that even though I'd signed up for the musical, I hadn't attended a single rehearsal, which meant that I should have been taken out of the cast. I was going to go onstage anyway, but the fact that I missed all rehearsals also meant that I never got my costumes. I frantically began trying to figure out if I could find costumes for myself before I had to go onstage. Meanwhile, the girl's changing room that I was in was full of girls, but none of them were familiar and I couldn't ask any of them for help.

Then my alarm clock went off and I woke up. And now I'm all depressed because the high school really is doing Beauty and the Beast and I miss the musicals more than anything.

[BLEU]

I keep having painfully vivid sex dreams about my stepfather. It just means that I want to be closer to him, right? (That's the lie I keep telling myself.)

[electric ninja]

Last night I had a dream where my dog ran away, and when I was looking for him I kept finding lots of rabbits. For some reason i picked up the rabbits and carried them with me while i looked for my dog. I kept looking and I kept finding rabbits, then a guy ran past me and saied "Stop looking, you don't need a dog anymore. Now you have many pet rabbits!"

[ZeldaQueen]

Originally Posted by BLEU

I keep having painfully vivid sex dreams about my stepfather. It just means that I want to be closer to him, right? (That's the lie I keep telling myself.)

Freud would have something to say about that.

We were learning about fairy tales that involve an animal bride/groom (like Beauty and the Beast). Apparently Freud and Bettleheim both thought that the stories represented how kids were raised to think of sex as a scary or foreign concept (hence why there's the scary or gross animal) and as the story progresses and the human grows to love the creature (warms up to sex) the animal turns into a human also.

[Shrubfest]

Last night, I dreamed that I went to a theatre show/party, got really drunk with a group of friends, then ended up sleeping with this really weird guy I know from college. Then my ex tried to sleep with me too, but I decided to go for a shower.
Then I was tidying up at my Dad's house, and doing my work, whilst my Dad and Stepmum looked after a kid with a really bad temper. I ended up washing a bunch of the kids soft toys, then it became a kids party, and they made all the clean things dirty again.
Finally, I ended up in an art gallery, being mocked by my friends for all the previous things I'd done in the dream, when the Christopher Eccleston incarnation of Dr Who arrived, and I was happy, because I loved him.
The end.

[Sam]

I HAD A DREAM ABOUT THE WITCH FROM LEFT4DEAD CLAWING ME IN THE SCROTIMUS REGION OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Not just like clawing at it, but really getting all up in it.

I had to force myself to wake up out of it and I had a awful headache and my balls were hurting so bad.

JUST WRITING THAT DOWN MAKES MY RIGHT NUT CRINGE.

[Kitsa]

getting all up in it lol

I dreamed last night that I was sitting at a table with some guy who was giving me either a psychological or an IQ test, I'm not sure which. Whatever it was, it consisted of showing me a series of things that were supposed to blow my mind. Instead, I'd answer and say "I don't mean to be rude, but..." and proceed to be extremely rude telling him how he'd offended me.

Like one of the things was a photocopied Star of David (like people wore on their coats) with old nazi-handwriting swirls in it. When he turned it upside down, it said Juif (French for "Jew"). I was supposed to go "oh, wowwww" and marvel at it,
but instead I told him I didn't mean to be rude and then gave him hell.

Another part of the dream had to do with a big display that was taken care of by the choir teacher from my high school. It housed some sort of fraud called a "man-scorpion hybrid", although it just looked like a regular scorpion to me, and featured a machine that broke down the soil in the scorpion's box to prove it was fake.

In yet another part of the dream, I was climbing out my grandparents' bathroom window when my grandfather walked in and jokingly asked if I was ever going to give him his credit card back. I was embarrassed that I hadn't already and got down to dig through my strangely manly wallet. When I took it out to give it to him, I noticed that instead of a name in the usual space, the little silver letters said ANAL FISSURE.