Mar 5th, 2003, 07:33 PM
The Ten Commandments Of Being a Newb
First of all, being a newbie myself, I'm still trying to follow these rules, so an occasional slip can be forgiven.
Second of all, some newbies hate the fact that a newerbie shows up and acts like a complete fucking douche cougher, giving us ALL a bad name.
Third, I was semi-inspired by Jamesman's old thread, the numbering system.
So, after sitting on my ass for awhile, I finally decided to do this, because the vets can help the newbs out, but sometimes the advice comes better from a fellow newb.
Commandment #1: THOU SHALT NOT POST A "Hi, I'm new!" THREAD. Pretty self-explanatory. Even the other newbs get fucking sick of this, and it's not like your addition to this message board was some sort of Earth-shattering event. There's a war about to start. This is news. You are completely new to I-Mockery. This is not.
Commandment #2: THOU SHALT LEARN HOW TO TAKE A JOKE: Some people (myself included, on occasion) just don't get it when they see it. The regs won't, but fellow newbs might be a little more forgiving. At any rate, DID YOU READ THIS MESSAGE BOARD BEFORE YOU SIGNED UP? If you had, you'd perhaps see the sense of humor most of the regs have, and how hostile they are towards newbies, and how they relent once a newbie has proven himself. In other words, sometimes (not always) it's a hazing. If you feel the need to ruin threads with your non-joke-getting-ness, what in the blue hell are you doing here in the first place? I-Mockery is basically all about jokes in one form or another, so getting them is HALF THE BATTLE.
Commandment #3: THOU SHALT PUT MORE THOUGHT INTO YOUR RETORTS: Sometimes this applies to regs too ::coughsRongicoughs:: but this is more or less a newb mistake. If someone shoots you down in comic style, I can guarantee you that the proper reply does not include the following:
Jokes about one's sexual orientation
Jokes about one's family
Jokes about one's sexual relationships with family, deceased pets, or other things
Four word replies in which two of the words are "fuck you"
These comebacks come across as lame. Poorly thought out. 10th Grade. Unless you are in 10th grade, but shouldn't you be doing your HOMEWORK?!?
Commandment #4: THOU SHALT NOT ACT LIKE YOU OWN THE BOARD: This also pisses everyone off, regs and newbs alike. To see someone post their own thread is bad enough, but to have someone show up thinking that the SOLE REASON GOD PUT THEM ON THIS PLANET IS TO BE IN CHARGE OF I-MOCKERY is someone that needs to be hung upside down in the Town Square by his genitals.
Commandment #5: THOU SHALT REVIEW JAMESMAN'S THREAD ON THE TYPES OF NEWBIE: This helped out a LOT. The thread talks about how to be more or less accepted sooner or later (I don't think anyone will ever be COMPLETELY accepted unless you are in one way or another in charge of these threads) and in my case, it helped give me insight on how some of the regs think, and how to make my experience here, even as a newb, more enjoyable. I'd like to think I'm locked in at a #1. But even other newbs hate people that start turning into #4s, #6s, or #7s. Trust me on this.
There's more, but I'm going to add it later, and see how this takes. I know I'm still a newbie, but I'd like to think I do contribute more than your average pimpleassed newbs. Plus, even some of the older newbies get sick of seeing AORetards invade some board and completely rip its ass open and sodomize it.
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ks through all my old posts:: Hmm. No mention of me being a badass here. I just like making people like you look stupid. But it's too easy, you do half that job yourself :D It's like shooting fish in a Coke bottle.
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