work stories time!!!
So I work at this hotel right. I notice on my arrivals sheet that on last night's reservations that there are six rooms reserved under one name, which means that a very large party is coming in. I brace myself early in the shift and pre-prep all the paperwork for when they came in. Naturally, as is the case when people register online, the bitch neglected to include her address (which we need to check her in) and instead put "N/A," which would've saved me and her a LOT of time. PORTENT!
So, whatever. I get all the paperwork out of the way and get everything bundled nice and neat and am prepared, like a good worker, for the onslaught sure to come.
I was expecting a group of college students coming into town for whatever football game we're having this weekend. But I'll get to that.
About 5 p.m., I notice two cars pulling in together. This isn't unusual. Another car follows. This is unusual. Then another.
And they begin to file out. An entire junior league baseball team, and their families. There are seriously at least 20 children. I could already tell it was going to be a hell of a night.
I'll skip the boring paperwork stuff. Needless to say it took upwards of half an hour to get them all checked in, the time pockmarked by Angry Dads coming into the office and asking what the hold-up is. YOU'RE CHECKING IN 55 PEOPLE AT ONCE SO IT'S GOING TO TAKE A WHILE FUCK YOU
Thankfully my supervisor (who lives nearby) showed up and helped out, and I think we actually checked them in in near-record time considering that only one family paid cash.
Fast forward about two hours. All of the families have headed out to get some food, so aside from a few check-ins, it's been pretty quiet. I have my laptop with me and I entertain myself by watching some MST3K when all of a sudden I hear a strange banging sort of noise from the back of the building. I thought that they were shooting off fireworks across the river again because of the game, so I ignored it. Then I heard it again. I realized that it wasn't fireworks, but the sound of about 3-4 children running around outside.
Normally, I wouldn't give a shit. Kids can run around and be dipshits if they want. However, tonight I wasn't about to put up with it.
Firstly, they were running around on the rather narrow balcony in large groups. If one of them falls, then we're probably going to be held responsible.
Secondly, it's dark by this time. The area the hotel's in is a unique place, located smack in the middle between million-dollar homes just a few blocks away, and Cracktown just a few blocks the other direction. Rough types occasionally drift down from Cracktown and wander our property at night.
Third, these kids are making a FUCKTON of noise, and by the time it got bad enough that I felt I had to stop them, there was a group of 7-8 kids running around. The balcony makes a lot of noise from people just
walking on it, so you can imagine what the group sounded like running. I had guests, regulars, sleeping downstairs, and one of them I had just put in a 2:45 AM wake-up call for. So, this is pissing me off.
Another family got back from dinner, and their kids immediately took off to the stairs. I grab my keys and head outside, and shout to them (they're upstairs already) that they need to stop the running. The father, apparently drunk, walks over to me and informs me that they "just got here, we've been out getting food" and asking me why I'm yelling at his kids. I tell him I can't have them running, that it's a safety hazard, and I have guests trying to sleep. Again, he explains that he "just got here" and waves his 18 oz beer can around. Again, I tell him I can't have it. Thankfully, the father of another family (who I liked the most out of all of them, and had given me no trouble) showed up and changed the subject when he saw his fellow dad getting irate. I headed back in the office.
About half an hour later, I grab my keys and head out to do my rounds of the property. I usually do them once every few hours, but tonight I wanted to catch the little shit kids so I was doing them every 45 minutes or so. I was walking around the balcony when I heard a group of them coming. Three of them rounded the corner and stopped when they saw me and signaled to the others around the corner (I have no idea how many, but at least two, because I heard their voices) to go the other way. So they all run the other way. I'm not about to go running after them, lest one of the drunken fathers assault me, so I begin walking briskly. One of the guests staying downstairs yelled at me that there were a bunch of kids running around. Fuck.
They finally stopped running when the group of drunken dads standing outside on the balcony saw me coming after the kids and yelled at them to stop. I went back to the office.
20 minutes later, one of the dads comes down and introduces himself. I shake his hand, yaddayadda. He explains that the volume on his TV isn't working. I offer to transfer him to another room. He asks if I can just bring the TV from the other room into his room. I say no, because, firstly, I rather think that would be against policy, secondly, the TVs are bolted to the wall, and thirdly, they're rather large, and I can't carry them on my own. And I'd rather the drunken dads not handle them either. Again, I offer to transfer him to another room. He asks if he can see the other room, and I say yes and offer to take him up there. He insists on taking me to his room and showing me that his TV isn't working. So I go look, and naturally, I don't know why it's not working, so he asks if just his kids can move to the other room while he and his wife stay in this one. I say no, because that would be two rooms for the price of one. We go over this at least three times. He asks if I can give him a discount on the second room. I can give him 10%, because that's all I'm authorized to give. Alternatively, I can move him for free. The mother says that her boys saw a room downstairs with two king-size beds, a TV, a fridge and a microwave, and she wants to know why she didn't get that room. There is no such room. We have rooms with king-size beds, but only one bed, not two. We have rooms with fridges and microwaves, too, but I didn't have any more available (at least, that's what I told them. I wasn't about to move these assholes into a nice room, since they were paying the discounted price to begin with, and for all the trouble they'd given me I should be charging them MORE.) Another question: What were those little bastards doing looking into rooms that aren't theirs?
I explained that there is no such room, so she sighs, says fine, and goes to see the other room. I took her down, she says it's alright, and she sends her boys to get their things and begin moving. She proceeds to explain to me that her room was supposed to be free anyway, because she reserved the other 5 rooms. This very well may have been true, and in fact, probably was. Unfortunately, there's nothing I could do about it, since THIS IS THE KIND OF THING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MENTION AT CHECK-IN,
BEFORE I CHARGE THE ROOM TO YOUR FUCKING CREDIT CARD FUCK
Her boys begin unhooking their Playstation from the broken TV. ...Wait, Playstation? Lo and be-fucking-hold, as soon as they disconnect it, the volume returns to normal and begins blaring since they had it on maximum.
FUCK
So they stay in their room. Whatever. I prepare to go back to the office when the group of drunken dads begins to harangue me, asking me why only one of their five rooms has a microwave and fridge. I explain that I do not assign their rooms. The A shift assigns the rooms for reservations long before I arrive. The drunken dad with the broken TV asked me if I took any etiquette or charm classes. I resisted the urge to flip him off. He explains to me that the customer is always right (which doesn't apply at hotels, by the way) and that it would "behoove" him if I could get him into a nicer room, explaining that good things would come to me if I did this favor for him. Fuck no. These assholes have kept me out of the office for at least 30 minutes, and I explain that I have to get back, and he literally stops me four or five more times as I'm trying to walk away, slurring as he attempts to persuade me that it would be the right thing to do to give him a microwave/fridge room. Then he offers me a beer. I just leave.