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  #1  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 05:15 PM        American Boyfriend
The other night I went out to celebrate a friend's birthday. One friend brought out her new hubby.
She's passed 40 and had given up on men, Given the men in our area, I don't blame her. So she pulled a bloke from New York on Myspace. We all thought he was a serial killer, but no. oh lordy, he's dead nice. We all fancied him and he got loads of attention that night, but only had eyes for his wife. Dammit, that guy has left New York to live in, get this, 'Brown Edge', Stoke-on-Trent to be with her.
Well, I thought, there's an idea. There was not one man worth flirting with that night, or any night, this is why I dance so much. So I'm going to hunt americans on Myspace. My criteria is sane (ish), 33-43, intelligent, hilarious, some hair and a damn good shag. Tolerance of a woman who likes a drink. And american of course, preferably from a sunny part or near Canada.

So could anyone direct me to anyone on MySpace who fits the bill?
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Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 05:17 PM       
Canadians can apply too.
I never met a Canadian I didn't like and would live there happily.
xx
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 05:32 PM       
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Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 05:36 PM       
Am I meant to understand the meaning of one lone emoticon?

The english language is a broad, varied and interesting thing, please use it and let me know what you mean.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 05:51 PM       
Let me just put it this way.
I was faithful to my wife for the 15 years we were married, alos for the 5 years previous that we dated. I'm 38. I have a wealth of knowledge and have made even the most cynical here laugh. I have lots of hair on my head, body is getting hairier :X I love to drink with women and I live in sunny Southern California.

Add to that, I am a peace punk, I love to travel and english accents are hot.

I have this thing though that might "might" make me a burden to anyone who cares about me.
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  #6  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 05:57 PM       
I'm 37.

We don't get to this fine age without baggage.
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 06:02 PM       
Hahah I know. Nothing wrong with baggage. I clean my closet every now and then.

I have a condition in which my bones are fusing together. It can be slowed down with medicine but not stopped. One day in the future I may need a nurse maid. If someone cared about me they wouldn't leave me to live the rest of their life in health and happiness.

I tend to try not to fall in love. It's gay, but in my mind it makes sense.
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Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 06:04 PM       
Does this condition have a name?
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Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 06:05 PM       
Don't worry. There are robot arms and chairs to do the moving for you.

He mentioned it before in a thread about all sorts of medical maladies the posters had. Hope you're alright, TADDY.

EDITO: http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69699472

I feel like I'm butting in, so I'm just gonna step out.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 06:08 PM       
Ankylosing Spondylitis.

It sounds fancy.
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  #11  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 06:50 PM       
It's a public forum, thus butting in is impossible.
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Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 06:56 PM       
Well, I feel really tender moments being forged.
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Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 07:03 PM       
I'm too punk rock to do tender
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Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Feb 1st, 2009, 07:07 PM       
Tender, like a body.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 12:12 AM       
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I'm too punk rock to do tender

You would get all gooey and tender if I bought you a pair of 20 eyes for Valentines day.
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DevilWearsPrada DevilWearsPrada is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 01:23 AM       
sounds like a mutation
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  #17  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 08:46 AM       
A pair of 20 eyes?
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  #18  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 01:41 PM       
Well, er, good luck with that whole intelligent American boyfriend thing

From what I understand, you people fucking love shitty cheeses and can't spell basic words while we love Big Macs and can't find Saudi Arabia on a map (with the countries labeled), so the differences between BRITISH MEN and AMERICAN MEN seem cosmetic at best







Speaking of UK men, though, what in the blue fuck is a chav? I have this mental picture of a cockney, eighteen-year old wigger meth freak that thinks bitch slapping random people on the street is an olympic sport
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Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 02:06 PM       
Never heard such a cheese accusation before.
I thought Americans only ate over processed food anyhow and wouldn't know proper cheese unless it came pre sliced and in a cellophane wrapper?
But that's by the by.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 02:34 PM       
Quote:
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A pair of 20 eyes?
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  #21  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 03:18 PM       
http://news.scotsman.com/latestnews/...lth.3834952.jp

Of course, my main source of information on the cheese "epidemic" is the borderline-obsessive dietitian bitch I occasionally see flipping by BBC America when Top Gear and Gordon Ramsey aren't on.

As for Americans and cheese, most of us would probably consider Kraft cheese slices a health food product and only use it on sandwiches. Cheeses that actually taste good are undoubtedly foreign, automatically French, and therefore must be avoided on principle, rather than out of a devotion to processed food and you still haven't answered the chav question, I'm genuinely curious as to what cultural subsect they belong to.
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 03:21 PM       
I prefer buckles and zips. All that lacing up takes forever. There's a punk rule around here that you can't answer the door without your boots on. So those with multiple lace holes leave their friends waiting at the door for ages.
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  #23  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 03:23 PM       
That is so Anarchist!
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  #24  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 03:25 PM       
Too bloody right!
Can't be seen in our socks.
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Shrubfest Shrubfest is offline
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Old Feb 2nd, 2009, 03:31 PM       
Gus-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav
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