what happend to me, a story for chojin

[george]

DSprings, an endless party and how it ended.....

I decided to move back to Maryland. I could not afford a place to live with the kids (almost got a mortgage throuh Countrywide, but I was too shitty even for them--thank god) so I worked out a deal with my Mother In Law that I would pay rent to her for the kids, and got an apartment with in my old friend Ronnies house.

Now this was pretty much a place to keep my shit, it was not home. I considered it a bedroom in a different house. It was out of the way enough that i never saw Nancy, and i got to spend a lot more time with the kids. without a 200 mile daily drive, and just paying June and my rent I was doing pretty good. i had a good mix of social life, family life, and Ronnie ran a recording studio out of his house so i also had a lot of good music.

otherwise Ronnies place was a complete shithole. When my parents delivered the last of my stuff to me my mother cried because she felt scared for me. i felt bad, but the chemo and radiation therapy had worked a miracle--five years after being told she was going to die she was just fine. the cancer may kill her one day, but for now it is in stasis with no sign of growing any time soon. she was always worried about me, and i could see her point this time.

i had several housemates.

first there was Ronnie, he had really bad arthritis because his mother had broken all his bones with a hammer when he was a baby. the medicine they gave him to treat his arthritis caused severe circulatory problems and his legs had begun to rot, and smell. Ronnie was bedridden, and screamed at the top of his lungs every morning when he shit.

Chuck was the fattest, most disgusting person i ever met. he got fired from his job at Wendy's for being too fat, smelly, and stupid. he was now Ronnies nurse, and whipping boy. he also liked to tell me my business, and leave his snot everywhere on his face.

and then there was Joe. Joe had at one time been the best musician in our area. his band had been signed to a big deal by Geffen Records and was poised to become famous. and for some reason pretty much all the guys in the band started smoking crack and living up to the reputation of Southern Maryland rednecks. he installed carpets and went on crack binges, but could play the guitar better than anyone i ever saw.

otherwise there was always some local band, their buddies, and slutty rock band coke head groupie chicks lounging around. it was fun sometimes, but mostly annoying. i have written most of my life story for the last little while very publicly (or at least to you assholes), but in real life i stay pretty much isolated and i like it.

in my travels with Brian and Ivy i ran into an old friend named Lizzy. Lizzy had dated a friend of mine in highschool. he got her pregnant when she was 14, and then killed himself because of some drug dealing issues. Lizzy had a really funny way of talking and i liked hanging out with her. She came to hang out with me one night and she stayed for a few months. not as my guest though her and Joe hooked up, and would hide in his room and smoke crack and fuck.

i had a little garter snake. i liked getting high and putting a little fishbowl in the middle of the snakes tank and watching the snake kill goldfish. it was the only thing i really had. and one night i came home and my snake was gone, along with anything of mine that could have some sort of value. i was very upset.

in the room next to mine Joe and Lizzy were fucking. when they finished Lizzy came to my room and very sincerely apologized for stealing my shit and trading it for crack. then Ronnie and Chuck wanted to have a house meeting with me to dicuss how I needed to take on some of the burden of caring for Ronnie and household chores. i changed the agenda of the meeting and told them to fuck off. then my car broke down.

i had 99 problems, and a bitch would become one.

[ThrashO]

Originally Posted by george

i changed the agenda of the meeting and told them to fuck off.

[george]

the first participant in the party was my friend DSprings. he gave me a ride home after work because my shitty car would not start. he agreed to hang out and have a beer. we walked in the door and Nancy was masterbating in front of her computer, and some Iranian guy was watching over skype. it ruined skype for me, but just the same DSprings and I fell out laughing.

and every night DSprings came over after work and we hung out drinking all night. then i would go to work. this went on for a week or two and we picked up a third drinking buddy, and then a fourth. and before you could say boo it turned into people from pretty much any restaurant in the local area turning up. WaltB, my landlord did not mind because there was a lot of hot young ass coming to these parties.

there was one night where i jumped a trampoline with a girl after sharing half a paper with her. her tits flew out while we were jumping and were amazing to watch in an altered state. one night a girl gave my dog a whole bottle of sour apple pucker and he stumbled off into the night. he returned with a female beagle that he later attempted to hump.

it was really good fun, it i wasn't with the kids or at work i was at a really great party. and Nancy hated it. so, when a guy she had been fucking got sent overseas to Japan and needed a renter she jumped on the chance to move out I was glad to have her gone. i let the kids move in with her and paid child support and everything was pretty cool.

now you would think the party would end here, but it did not. instead it intensified. with no bitch around to complain and give dirty looks, even more women came over. and then we had a Christmas party for Outback at a hotel.

there was a group of us. we all took six pieces of paper. and there was a lot of trouble......

[george]

i have never been in trouble for anything i have done wrong. i am one of those people that justice just seems to overlook. or i just have good luck with cops.

once i got pulled over by a cop. i knew i was in troublle and that the car was going to get impounded. i had made the registration stickers using photo shop and a little experience from my sign shop days. my registration card was counterfeit as well. and as the cop walked up to my car i spotted a half ounce of weed in the door handle. Nancy had bought it ealier (i guess) and forgot about it.

trying not to panic, i slowly take the weed out of the doorhandle and then deposit it in a McDonalds drink cup that had been living life in my cupholder as an ash tray. the lid was barely on, i slipped the weed in and snapped the top on. when the cop got to my window i took a big sip from the straw.

the whole thing took about two hours because they really wanted to know where the stickers came from. they were very impressed with my forgery. i gave the only answer anyone should give a cop "i don't know." eventually the cop gave us a ride home. turns out he had been staioned on a base with me in the Marines. he shook my hand when he dropped us off.

i just shook my head and clutched my cup of cigarette water and weed and wondered at the miracle of it all as he drove off.

so on the night of the Christmas party, as i stood in front of a cop, and tried not to stare at the walls melting as five tabs started to peak i began to wonder if i had used all my cop luck up in that one incident. i was pretty sure i was going to have to attempt to knock this motherfucker out.

i had planned to be safely in my hotel room listening to music and tripping balls and in general having a great time. instead i had to go find Adam. Adam was not supposed to be given any paper, he had never done any drugs and i had made it clear that i did not want him to start when i was around. so when our hippie pal Monkey Boy gave him a freebie out of a small messenger bag filled with more sheets of paper that i had ever seen it was done with a great deal of promises of people babysitting Adam.

the babysitters failed at their task almost immediately, and about twenty minutes after Adam took paper the phone rang. it was Adam. he was in the lobby, and yelling into the hotel phone about how he was tripping balls and starting to freak out.

somone had to go get him, and somehow i got elected. a guy named mike agreed to come with me. we got to the lobby. the kid was gone. a few minutes of cell phone calls between people out of their gourds established that Adam had made it back to the room.

Mike and i got off the elevator on the third floor there was like ten dudes fighting. mike and i eased our way around the fight. this was just too much, i was so happy to be back at the room. george was almost out of contact for awhile. just as i was about to turn the corner and go down the short hallway to my room, a voice that could only belong to a cop shouted, "where do you think you're going?"

one of the cops working hotel security (the christmas party the year before there had been massive damage and disturbance at this hotel, and there was A LOT of security this year) had spotted us as they arrived to break up the big fight. he wanted to fuck with us a little. we went around the corner and tried to get in the room. he came around the corner just as we were knocking to be let in.

"Just going to our room," i said as he caught up to us, "is there a problem?" i asked it with what I thought just the right amount of I AM A VERY SERIOUS ADULT, DONT FUCK WITH ME. I knocked again. and no one answered.

"Really?" officer friendly asked with a little bit of sarcastic interest in his voice. "how come no ones answering?"

as if on cue the door flew open, Monkey Boy looked out. then slammed the door and locked the bolt lock thing that is on hotel doors. the cop and i stared at each other. we were both very suprised. a few moments passed, and the sound of breaking glass seemed to come from far away.

there was a life sentence in prison waiting for me and everyone in that room if the cop came in. i was tripping hard. mike was tripping hard. the cop stared alternately at me and the door. i was not letting him go in that room no matter what.

the cop stood there looking scary and very thoughtful. finally he shook his head. "Go into your room, and if i see you again i am arresting you and everyone in the room. disappear."

and we did.

Monkey Boy had jumped right out of a third story window. Adam went home and told his Mom everything. She told DSpring's Mom. Adam and DSprings got sent off to a mental hospital (very overprotective parents, i dont blame them for being worried or mad, but a mental hospital?) DSprings is still having issues with all the Meds they put him on there. the rest of that night about a million mother fuckers came to our room to try and buy paper cause Adam had told everyone at the party we were tripping. everyone knew.

we got an instant bad reputation. wich was fine. the party was over for now. i bought a cat and named him Mr. Orange. I sat alone in my apartment at night and talked to the cat.