Arranged Marriages- the way to go

[Professor Poddar]

It is sheer folly to assume that we have a right to select our spouses. Nonsense, I say; fuck this distorted approach to life! The aforesaid alleged freedom deviates from traditional avenues leading toward contentment and bliss, thereby engendering widespread confusion, immorality, and deviant sexual behavior. I must impress on you: adopt the arranged-marriage system NOW, or your already-eroding society will undoubtedly plummet from the precipice on which it presently teeters.

Marriage is not simply a 3-month-long romp in the sheets followed by inevitable indifference and eventual divorce, as you Americans seem to believe, but a union of like-minded (and spiritually aligned) individuals. The divorce rate in India is a FRACTION of what it is here, and by all accounts married life is more harmonious and satisfying there as well. What the FUCK does this tell you?

I recently met my bride-to-be. Her name is Ravika. I couldn't be happier with her, I tell you- she's beautiful, intelligent, companionable, and more importantly: she was born into a similarly high caste. The bastardizing cross pollination, as it were, rotting out Western societies from the inside out is a fucking sham-- rich must not breed with poor, and so on. Each MUST know his place.

My parents did all the work for me! By placing an advert in a Delhi newspaper, they soon had secured arrangements with a likeminded family there, and darling Ravika shall consequently be flown over to join me. While you single people here are all but throwing away your time and money playing the "game", I can sit back and enter into a fruitful relationship with she with whom I was DESTINED to be united.

Abandon your fucking lamentable (and indeed downright harmful!) Judeo-Christian morality by the proverbial roadside, and adhere to Eastern wisdom for a change. You may find the results pleasantly surprising!

[Rongi]

LOVELINE

God damn...first the beer thread and now this.

[Professor Poddar]

You fucking insolent rat! How DARE you defile a posting of such noble intent with your doltish prattle? I'd not condescend to piss on you, normally, but your irksome presence inflames the ire housed in my being.
Attend to my every syllable, worm: I am Professor Poddar! Lest I deign it worthy of my time to waste words on you, "put a fucking lid on it", as the Americans say.

Pick Three of Four:
1. Vanish
2. Suffer
3. Grovel
4. Expire

Fie! Go for all four... just this once. I shan't tell you in which order they're to be carried out.

[Rongi]

Originally Posted by Professor Poddar

How DARE you defile a posting of such noble intent

That's the funniest thing you've ever said .

[sspadowsky]

This is a more eloquent Jixby character than we're accustomed to seeing. It's wonderful that he's branching out with his comedy.

Kudos to you, Jixby! Onward and upward, old chum!
________
Bondage tits

[Rongi]

I knew pod was a character. The mystery is solved :sherlock

[ItalianStereotype]

i already told you bastards he is a character.

[Anonymous]

Sigh.

[Evil Robot]

Just me and some like Some Black Guy?

[FartinMowler]

The divorce rate in India is a FRACTION of what it is here, and by all accounts married life is more harmonious and satisfying there as well

You don't live in India right? So she might end up killing you in your sleep and collecting the insurance and head back to India to marry Hardeep or ballginder.

[Blatant]

how fucking brilliant would that be?

[Carnivore]

This isn't Jixby. This is someone Edorian and I know IRL and this character is based on somebody who went to highschool with me IRL. He really did put forth this argument about arranged marriages. If you knew this kid as I did, you would appreciate how funny this truly is! As it now stands, it kind of like an inside joke for Apportioner and me.

[sadie]

sigh.

[sspadowsky]

Oh, I'm pretty certain I know who it is.

I said what I said because, quite a while back, some of you remember the rash of characters like Habib and Mr. Fart came along, and everyone kept accusing Jixby of doing it. Ever since then, I've amused myself endlessly by purporting that characters were created by Jixby, no matter how obvious it was that they were not.

Thanks for making me explain the joke. Cocksuckers.
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Zx14 Vs Hayabusa

[Carnivore]

Dude, I guarantee you do not know who it really is. You've never met him.