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DeadKennedys · #26

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArrowX

Another time in forestry class I was carving and the fagot kid next to me got the smatr Idea to kick the Piece of wood i was cutting. It caused me to carve almost all the skin off of my right thumb and the blade stopped near the cuticle :O

I've also ingested battery acid, small amounts of turpentine, gasoline, liquid plastic, motor oil, and Lead paint.

And people wonder why I'm stupid.

Should I laugh or cry?

For me, kidney stones and wisdom teeth.

ArrowX · #27

pussy my wosdom teeth don't need to be pulled. Just sanded down every 3 weeks

McClain · #28

During a scrimmage in high school I got tackled and slammed on my tailbone. Any movement whatsoever was excruciating.

or

The gas chamber in boot camp. That was a friggin' nightmare. I laugh about it now and say, "I could do it again!" but it sucked reall bad.

or

Playing basketball and I had a fast break layup. On the way down from the shot some asswipe decided to stand underneath. All of my weight went down on my ankle which landed on his foot and rolled to what seemed like a 90 degree angle. I had so many little chipped, broken and fractured bones. It was horrible.

Captain Goodtimes · #29

Well when i was 15 i wanted to smell sexy for the ladies and got some colonge on my testicles and I burned then to hell.

CastroMotorOil · #30

where is les waste with his dental horror stories

DeadKennedys · #31

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArrowX

pussy my wosdom teeth don't need to be pulled. Just sanded down every 3 weeks

I believe that would make you the pussy.

Terra · #32

My anesthesia wore off in the middle of an appendectomy. I don't remember much of it as they said I probably have some mild form of amnesia but to this day I can't watch the last act (where they eviscerate Mel Gibson) of Braveheart.

Father §p@z · #33

The most pain I have ever been in was in a REALLY bad fire, the smoke made me dizzy, and being the stupid person that I am, I forgot to bring an oxygen tank. Well, I fell straight into a burning chair, and boy howdy did THAT wake me up! I suffered a small third degree burn and couldn't move for the next month. Anyone who has ever been burned really badly, that is a cakewalk compared to third degree burns. Yeesh!

McClain · #34

Actually, 2nd degree burns are the most painful. 3rd degree is when you burn the nerves. So either you didn't have 3rd degree or you're lying your ass off.

Father §p@z · #35

Have you ever HAD a third degree burn McClain?

McClain · #36

Only on my genitals.

Terra · #37

As I understand it, the only treatment for that is oral.

Sethomas · #38

Well, what happens is you get a 3rd degree on a small area and 2nd degree burns radiate in a large area around it. So, it's like the eye of the storm is the least painful.

Father §p@z · #39

Seth's right. But most of the time I was on morphine, so I didn't really care

Skulhedface · #40

I don't know if it counts as painful, but it sure was excruciating, and I think psychological pain counts...

When I was 8, we went to Galveston Beach and were in the water on an inflatable raft. I fell out and couldn't find my way up too quickly but when I did I came up and got stuck under the raft for about two minutes. Not being able to breathe at all for two minutes was very painful.

Ftang Ftang Olay OLay · #41

morphine is great they give you some and then after your like

GIVE ME SOME MORE!!!!!!

Sacks · #42

This one time I was helping my friend take out his garbage, and in his part of town they have these huge paper bags to put your trash in so they're open at the top, it's really weird. Anyway, so I'm taking out the trash right, and the bag falls, so I reach for it and apparently the night before his older sister had a big party or something because there were all these broken beer bottles at the top of the bag

. So, one of the beer bottles goes halfway through my right ring finger, and my brain was like "OH man, OOH MAN" and then I start staggaring around bleeding everywhere, and then at the hospital the guy is "cleaning" it, jamming stuff all around in the hole, it was awful. Now the only thing I can feel in that finger is intense pain. Curse you Mr. Budweiser, CUUURSEE YOUUU!

Bod · #43

Arterial blood test, agonising. And they don't usually get the artery on first go, so you have to re-suffer about 3 times.

At the time I was unable to breathe with oxygen mask on my face, so then panic ensued and pain even worse.

Recreate the Virus · #44

One time, a girl ripped my heart out. It hurts just thinking about it...

King Hadas · #45

one time I was totally macking on this chick and she kicked me in the nuts and smashed my left testicle three times smaller then my right one and when I was on the floor in terrible pain everyone started laughing at me

Sethomas · #46

I was unconscious when they did my arterial tap, so I didn't really notice any pain from it. I just woke up wondering why I had stigmata. The full day or so after I started regaining consciousness was perpetual agony, but I was too fucked up to really care or even notice the pain.

Another painful episode of my life was the summer after fifth grade when I spent the day in the sun and developed second degree burns over almost my entire back. The kicker was when my aunt convinced me a few days later that the best thing for it would be a cold shower. Merciful Christ, that was not fun.

McClain · #47

My brother got a severe sunburn when we were kids. The next day he was covered in blisters but my dad still made him deliver the papers for his route. He had to put that newspaper carrier bag over his head and on his shoulders. I remember him wincing in pain for the entire trip. I offered to take some of the papers out so it wasn't as heavy.
I wonder why we didn't use a wagon? Or why I just didn't do it for him? God, I'm an asshole.

davinxtk · #48

Ingrown toenail removal surgery.

I had a pretty advanced infection and my big toe was swollen to about twice its normal size. It was bright red and extremely sensitive to pressure.
The toenail has grown long, and on either side the forward corners of it are tucked well under tender, infected flesh.
What the podiatrist does is take an incredibly sharp pair of scissors and shove it straight under the toenail, along the side. Snip. Further, deeper than it can be seen past the root of the nail. Snip. Including flesh.
Repeat the same for the other side.
Visualize the toenail now cut into three pieces. There's a strip down the middle that is still perfectly attached, the only part of the nail that's going to stay. On either side of that, there's a weak, soft piece of nail completely detached from its root and the skin beneath it, but held in place by the infection.
Tweezers grip one of the pieces, and pull out out at an angle so it doesn't break. Same with the other one. Blood gushes.
Electric cauterization of the blood vessels inside the toenail.
Cotton swab on a wooden stick, covered in some jelly antibiotic acid. One shoved into each gaping hole left by the pieces of nail.
Bandaged, and wrapped.

The first three times I had this done (ages 7, 9 and 10) I didn't have any kind of anesthesia. The fourth and fifth, I had weak local anesthesia. The last time I had it done, there was so much swelling that the anesthesia couldn't even get to the nerves. A rubber band around the base of the toe didn't cut off the cicrculation enough to numb it, not for an instant.

That was three years ago. I'm so glad I haven't had once since.
My toes started hurting while I was typing this.