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Max Radical Max Radical is offline
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Old Aug 24th, 2009, 12:52 PM        Cinemasochism: Dolemite
Anyone who hasn't watched this seen this masterpiece of moviemaking is missing out. Some people tried to reclaim blaxploitation by parodying it. They failed. Rudy Ray Moore instead made blaxploitation his bitch by overextending every single aspect until it screamed his name and called him Daddy. Behold: Dolemite!


Warning: Movie poster may contain better choreography than the film it represents.

I watched it, which took several cocktails and two friends who actually cried "uncle" and bailed two-thirds of the way through - you can read the results here. A sample to get you started:

Rudy Ray Moore wants you to know he's successful with women, and he thinks “insinuation” is something white people do because they’re impotent. If he wishes to imply a lady likes him, the only reason you don't see shaft is because the cameraman can't get the lens into the molecule-thin gap between his crotch and the refurbished prostitute/actress impersonating a face-shaped vacuum cleaner.
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MrSmiley381 MrSmiley381 is offline
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Old Aug 24th, 2009, 01:50 PM       
That looks unbelievably terrible, and I can see why it took multiple cocktails to get through it.

Why exactly does he need an all girl army of Kung Fu killers?
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10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Aug 24th, 2009, 01:59 PM       
When you're done with that you need to watch Disco Godfather. The last 10 minutes alone are worth the entirety of the movie. Human Tornado was pretty good too.

MS: He needs an all girl army of kung fu killers to take care of business that people don't have any business getting their business involved with.
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Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Aug 24th, 2009, 03:18 PM       
Soul Vengeance is a good one, too.

A dude strangles another guy with his dick.
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kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Aug 25th, 2009, 01:56 AM       
Quote:
MS: He needs an all girl army of kung fu killers to take care of business that people don't have any business getting their business involved with.
DAMN RIGHT
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Max Radical Max Radical is offline
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Old Aug 25th, 2009, 04:31 PM       
Damn it, I came here so that my suffering wasn't in vain and what do I get? MORE SUFFERING. I will watch those movies and rue you guys so hard.

The Human Tornado is strange - after Dolemite it looks like the height of cinema, but part of your brain knows it's merely the second worst thing ever to happen to your consciousness.
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Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Aug 27th, 2009, 05:16 AM       
Dolomite is used to raise the pH of acid soils and prevent calcium and magnesium deficiency.

In conclusion, this film, Dolemite, is similar to Dolomite in that it improves soils base compounds, nitrogen in this case.

Because it is manure.
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darkvare darkvare is offline
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Old Aug 29th, 2009, 11:29 AM       
i love that art they use in this kind of old movies for some reason
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Supafly345 Supafly345 is offline
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Old Sep 4th, 2009, 08:38 AM       
Rest in peace Rudy Ray Moore, you kung fu hero.
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10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Sep 4th, 2009, 10:05 AM       
There was supposed to be a new Dolemite movie coming out too but it looked really bad....like sadbad.
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The Leader The Leader is offline
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Old Sep 4th, 2009, 11:42 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zhukov View Post
Dolomite is used to raise the pH of acid soils and prevent calcium and magnesium deficiency.

In conclusion, this film, Dolemite, is similar to Dolomite in that it improves soils base compounds, nitrogen in this case.

Because it is manure.
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Zbu Manowar Zbu Manowar is offline
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Old Sep 5th, 2009, 10:03 PM       
The only thing that makes Dolemite bad is a lack of budget. Add a few million to this and some karate trainers, and you will have the best movie EVER.
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Supafly345 Supafly345 is offline
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Old Sep 7th, 2009, 03:31 AM       
Your ironic sense of humor is more distasteful than funny in this respect.
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DougClayton4231 DougClayton4231 is offline
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Old Sep 13th, 2009, 03:10 PM       
Being an African American, I can honestly say that Dolemite is a classic in exploitation films. It is wonderful on so many levels.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Sep 13th, 2009, 03:59 PM       
PACMAN!
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