Jun 21st, 2003, 10:06 PM
Okay, motherfucker.
The plot was terrible. Admittedly, the movie started out fine. It develops a nice plot and is flowing greatly. But then, once they get to the "bar", the movie suddenly steers completely off course. It seems like the movie was split in two. The vampire scene was way too overdone. When the heads start rolling (literally), all sense flies out the fucking window. The logic just didn't come together. For example, they all seemed rather calm and cool after killing a room full of creatures not even known to exist. The big black guy actually launches into a tirade about wiping out a platoon in Vietnam moments after the slaughter climaxes. Not to mention the fact that they just witnessed the slaughter of a roomful of people and vampires, they listen intently to this. The one Mexican guy, when first introduced, appears to be badass. But, he "turns" all calm and corteous. Doesn't flow with his character at all. During this, Clooney (I forget his character's name) talks to the minister. He says something along the lines of, "I know those bastards came straight from Hell. If there's a Hell, then there's got to be a Heaven, there's gotta be." After the utterance of this tear-jerking sentence, the minister shakes his head vigorously in disagreement. But then, only the next sentence over, viola! Clooney asks, "Are you a mean motherfucking servant of God?" And, in the span of 3 seconds, the Preacher experiences an epiphany, suddenly changing his mind, thus accepting the role as the "mean motherfucking servant of God". Secondly, when they're trapped in the room, another logic hole develops. While they're searching amidst the crates and boxes, they uncover a box filled with hard liquor. Now called me old-fashioned, but wouldn't a Molotov be the perfect weapon against vampires. Flame. Light. Heat. It all fits rather nicely if you ask me. Instead, a crossbow (the girl turns out to be an excellent shot too), a shotty-bat cross, a super soaker, and a stick stuck in a motor. Wow, what a selection! Okay. Ready for another logic hole! Alright. Remember that oh-so-interesting battle between the vampires and the remaining humans? There are 4 vampires feeding on the Asian kid? Okay. Why do the kid and 4 vampires spontaneously combust when a bullet is placed into their midst? Doesn't make any damn sense to me. Additionally, there was one more thing that annoyed me. The Mexican guy played 3 roles in that movie. I don't know if anyone else noticed it, but I found it character rape. Anyone else?
Okay. Your turn.
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