Features

El Blanco · #1

Well, maybe you shouldn't be

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/matrix50.html

Bennett · #2

contains spoilers.

I only read up until it started giving away points in the plot, and I didn't come across anything I saw as a valid reason not to go see this movie.

El Blanco · #3

You should read the whole thing. Dr. Oxford really presents his case.

AChimp · #4

I like the end where it turns into HTML tags for me. That's the real clincher.

For me, anyways. :/

The_Rorschach · #5

I got a third of a way through this, unsure whether or not this was serious or not. I decided this was a farce made to poke fun at Libs. The author is a half ass character.

He attempts to put forth an educated, Oxford-esque writing style, but fucks it up constantly because his grasp of english really isn't really all that great. First sentence paragraph 2

"until" has no good reason for being there

The below would never happen in reality anyway.

"I had attended a showing of The Matrix in May of 1999 with a lady friend, because we are both big Morgan Freeman fans. An hour into the film, as I observed what dreck we were wading in, I walked up and stood before the screen and tried to explain to the audience that this vomitus was below their dignity.

I was greeted by some of the most vulgar insults imaginable, until some began throwing objects and one man even knocked my pipe from my hand. Do you wish to be associated with a group of such character"

Pub Lover · #6

The guy points out several 'errors' in the first movie, that I felt were there to show that the world they inhabited wasn't so clear cut, & that The Matrix was visible to anyone that would notice the small inconsistant details. They weren't mistakes, they were atmosphere.

Edit: The pipe thing really did tip it into absurd, & there were a couple of other overly ludicrous points later on as well. :/
Damn Satirists.

Anonymous · #7

It is fake, by the way. He did one a little while ago about Lord of the Rings, one of the reasons against it being one of the heroes was a woman.

Zomboid · #8

I love this part

"Two actors were abruptly cut from the sequel cast before production ended, both female minorities. Coincidence?

Aaliyah and Gloria Foster were unceremonially dropped after shooting some scenes for the sequel. What's wrong, guys? They didn't test well with the predominantly white Matrix audiences?

Neither actress could be reached for comment. "

Ninjavenom · #9

http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_pe...cgi?nomatrix&1

hahaha

Bennett · #10

Boy am I an ass, I'm glad I didn't initially go off on this guy for the Aaliyah thing... I remember reading the LOTR one, and seeing a bunch of people get all worked up at how stupid the criticism were, and here I fell for the trap because I didn't want to potentially read any spoilers.

<-- me stoopid