I figured this is a story and I'm bored so here we go.
Last night we went out to the bars. There's not much else to do on a Thursday night, and everyone else has the same idea, so our circle of friends congregates at this bar.
We get there and it's more or less horrible right off the bat (As soon as I walk in, there's my ex, all smooching it up with her new dumbass boyfriend, but that's not what this story is about). We all sit there and drink our beers, play a few games of pool, when out of nowhere my ex announces that I'm not going to be there on Wednesday so I should take my birthday licks now.
To fill in the backstory, you put your arm against a wooden post and take fists in the bicep equal to the number of years old you're going to be. The two biggest fuckers in town are the ones that administer the licks, and I've seen guys twice my size actually start crying.
Anyway, my ex won't keep her damn mouth shut so I just decided, since I wasn't going to get out of this that I'd take my licks like a man. But at least now I can go out on my birthday this Wednesday without fear of a beating.
I got all 22 of my licks and actually handled it well (maybe having a healthy buzz is what numbed a lot of it).
But then I got the ultimate revenge. Girls get licks too, just on the ass and not the arm. Spankings. After taking all those licks, having my arm look like it was hit like a mack truck, I reminded them that HER birthday was two days after mine, she'd be 21. So she took her licks, she took it well but could not sit down for the rest of the night.
The point to this story: None really. Just a story. For the bored.
I woke up with a BAD hangover (they gave me two free shots of Jager after the licks), a bad bruise on my arm, and a smile for knowing my ex probably feels the same pain heh heh heh.
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