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CaptainBubba CaptainBubba is offline
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Old Jan 30th, 2005, 12:34 AM        From the pages of my web journal
"What are you talking about?" I asked Fred in the typical dissaproving tone he was used to by now.

"I've got this awesome idea Alex" Fred boasted, grabbing his leopard print tie and smirking like he could turn shit into pearls, "I'm gonna make the both of us rich! Haha!"

I never really liked Fred but ever since the one time I couldn't pay my bill at Waffle House and he spun around like a minature twister, stopped abruptly, and emerged from a could of dust as a very manly woman and seduced the waiter into letting us go free of charge, I've felt a little obliged to be his friend.

"We can use computers to make us rich!" Fred shouted while his eyebrows waved furiously up and down and his face contorted to resemble a photoshop of goat.se.

"Fred, you know I'm already using my computer machine to make me all kinds of money."

I was sure by now that he'd heard of my massive success on the internet with a website where for a small one time fee you could submit any picture you like and have our crew of visual and design specialists add penis to it.

"I'm talking big money Alex. YABADABADOO MONEY ALEX. My idea centers on the premise that these computers are capable of billions of calculations per second. Thats A BILLION DIFFERENT CALCULATIONS. EVERY SECOND ALEX."

I never really bothered to ask how on earth Fred Flinstone found himself living next to my house and frankly I'm not going to be the one to ask him.

"So what we can do is charge people to use our computers for their calculations! At a dollar per calculation thats A billion dollars per second!"

After Wilma died Fred always came over to tell me his plans for getting rich. One time he came over while I was watching porn and I swear I saw the portal of time and space itself converge into a swirling mass of black chaos within his dilated pupils. He ran away and came back in about 2 hours with a rock chisel and a brick that had a crude sketch of a stick man with humongous boobs and an abundance of pubic hair, but he mightve just hit the crotch with the chisel really hard.

"Thats an awesome Idea Fred, but I'm afraid someone already beat you to it! Looks like you have to go back to the drawingboard!"

"Ooooohhh fiddlesticks!"

Fred was a nice guy underneath it all. Some day I plan to find out where his daughter went and reuinte them. Pebbles really had no choice but to strip with a name like that.
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Matt Harty Matt Harty is offline
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Old Jan 31st, 2005, 12:19 PM       
nobody read this
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Dole Dole is offline
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Old Jan 31st, 2005, 01:11 PM       
still drunk then
I don't get it. I mean, why did they fuck with the formula? Where are the car songs? There's only one song about surfing and it's a downer!
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