Carnivore

[Ninjavenom]

Post a story about the last guy that died while you were on the job. There are too many other gay threads.

[punkgrrrlie10]

I hope it's about retro kat :P

[Malevolent]

Ummm... it's not all the fascinating. It was over a month ago, for starters. When we got there we found an extremely frail, old man in cardiac arrest. His family didn't want us to do anything for him, but we're legally obligated to if they don't have the necessary DNR documentation. So we did our usual CPR, defibrilator deal without success. He was in asystole, so no shocking. I cracked probably every one of his ribs that articulated with the sternum doing chest compressions. Cracking ribs are very unpleasant. It sounds like the bubbles you use for packing fragile items popping. In the end, we got a doctor on the phone who told us to discontinue our efforts and we did.

I'm overdue for another kill.

[Ninjavenom]

No gruesome Chopped-In-Half-With-the-Jaws-of-Life stories?

[Evil Robot]

He was in asystole, so no shocking.

I cant read, so at first I thought you said "He was an asshole, so no shocking."

[Malevolent]

Originally Posted by Ninjavenom

No gruesome Chopped-In-Half-With-the-Jaws-of-Life stories?

'Fraid not. The most fun I've had recently was a guy who got his hand caught in a snowblower.

[sadie]

when i was working as a reporter before i started teaching, i had to go out in the freezing rain to cover a wreck. this 16-year-old girl had wrapped her car around a tree. she was still alive but unconscious, and they had to break out the JAWS OF LIFE. it didn't chop her in half, but she died hours later anyways. i felt so dirty taking pictures of the whole thing.

[Malevolent]

The jaws are not all that interesting to see in action. You basically shove them in a crack and they open it up. The cutters they use to remove the roof are far cooler.

[Captain Robo]

During a field trip to the Belle Isle Aquarium, we passed a guy trying to commit suicide off one of the freeway overpasses.

However, since we were on the freeway, we didn't get to see the rest. I was about 9 then...

When we got to Belle Isle, the field trip was canceled because some idiot got his brains blown out with a shotgun, and the police were doing an investigation, so no fishies today.

And recently, a guy walked up to another guy and randomly shot him in the chest with a shotgun... 3 blocks away from where I live, on the "Detroit" side of my area. The guy lived, but when I was renting a video from the video store nearby the shooting, some little black kids were playing with the balloons and flowers that were set up to commemerate the man who was shot...

And this white guy comes by and starts yelling at them to stop playing with the 'memorial' but they don't. He proceeds towards them menacingly, but then this extremely large 'mofo' stepped out of a nearby parked car, obviously the guardian of the children...

Oh, and one last death report

A 16-year old kid killed another kid's father in a car accident. The son of the victim had gotten into a fight with me earlier in the year (I won, by the way). Details are still sketchy, but apparently, the father was walking from behind a garbage truck that was stupidly parked in the middle of the street (This morning, one of those shitmobiles was parked right outside our driveway, and I couldn't get to school until they moved their lazy asses)

Grosse Pointe is a dangerous place.

If you ever visit, wear a gun and show it off.

[Les Waste]

Originally Posted by Captain Robo

The son of the victim had gotten into a fight with me earlier in the year (I won, by the way).

[Captain Robo]

Originally Posted by Les Waste

Well, thats why I feel sorry for him even more. I can imagine what losing a father can be like... but getting beat up on top of that just makes everything worse.

[Les Waste]

Originally Posted by Captain Robo

(I won, by the way).

[Captain Robo]

You win

[Ninjavenom]

We had a minute of silence at school recently for some asshole that crashed into a tree when he was drunk. He killed two other people, too. What an asshole. I'd like to piss in his grave.

[AChimp]

They always demonstrate the Jaws of Life and those cutters at the air show here.

In other news, a kid at my old high school hanged himself during an argument he was having with his girlfriend on the phone. Apparently, he just said "Hang on a second." and dropped the phone.

[whoreable]

BEST SUICIDE JOKE AROUND
________
RHODE ISLAND MARIJUANA DISPENSARIES

[Helm]

Haha! If I ever decide to kill myself, I'll press someone to tell me to 'not lose my head' and then I'll blow it off with a shotgun or something. It'll be a sad day for me, but a great day for comedy.

[Ninjavenom]

[Malevolent]

Just got home from work. Last call of the shift this morning was... a splinter in the foot! This things some people call an ambulance for

[CastroMotorOil]

I'll agree with robo that grosse pointe can bve a dangerous area if yu border detroit. Gotta love deteroit, one of the few places where if you ask for direction the answer is this "Well its over that way but you have to go around the long way, otherwise they (the gangs) will kill you."

[Anonymous]

Why haven't the gangs killed him yet, then?

[Helm]

Anal buddy.

[noob3]

carni have you ever had to rescue somone and you found some brains and you had to put them in the special brain container incase they needed them for later use or have you ever found like a sevred arm or something sick like you had to go to a car crash and the arm was like by the car and everyone in the car had thier arms so you had to put the arm in the special arm container freezer box incase somone was missing an arm and was keeping it a secret

you know to look cool

[Malevolent]

I sincerely hope that your first question was not a serious question. I hope it was just another failed attempt to be funny. Brain matter, once outside the body, is useful only for breeding maggots and other insects.

As for amputations, the worst I've ever seen was a few partially amputated fingers from a snowblower accident. If somebody ever had a fully amputated limb, it would be put in a biohazard bag and that bag would be put in ice.

[noob3]

Don't you ever worry that one day, you'll have to rescue somone in a car crash, and some dude will be like exploded or totally mangled in the car? And you'll have to wade through organs to save the other dude?