Your weirdest dreams?

[Zhukov]

I never fully remember my dreams, it's really frustrating. Last night I was a recruit in the Thai coast guard/water police, and I remember ramming a tiny fishing boat with our big police boat (which was manned to overflowing with about 100 other recruits, all wearing blue), monitoring the sales and purchases of various sea creatures at the local fish market, and being told that I would have to buck my ideas up if I wanted to make it to being a real water policeman.

Other stuff happened.

[ThrashO]

I was playing alot of Portal 2 and I had a dream about it. It was wierd, there was something in this room I was trying to get and I had portals and I was kind of teetering in between them, and I remember not being able to reach whatever it was.

Anyways my girlfriend was rolling around in the bed and waking me up and I was kind of still dreaming and I remember reaching out to it really fast in my dream through what I thought was a portal and I woke myself up by slamming my hand into an un-portal'd wall in the dark.



When I say she was rolling around in the bed I mean she was writhing in ecstasy from the pleasure-fest I allowed her to partake in with my penis 5 hours prior.

[Shrubfest]

Sure thing, bro.

I dreamed I went to a really fancy party, got very drunk of gin with Johnny Depp, but then instead of going to have sex in the woods we remembered we had to push a steam train back home.

Then we nearly got hit by a fuck-tonne of other trains because no one remembered to check if we had line clearance.

[Womti]

mai dreams are like movies

[Kitsa]

Ugh, I just had a horrible nightmare. And it was one of those that felt like it lasted the entire time I was asleep, too, even though I know it's not really possible.

It started out with me looking at houses to buy. I toured this one huge house and decided I liked it. I bought it, but the previous guy living there didn't want to leave. So I moved in, but he kept breaking in and I kept finding him and his stuff places (like in this weird cinderblock room in the basement). So that wasn't scary, just sort of creepy.

Later in the dream, there was this woman after me. She was in her early fifties with brown hair and sort of looked like someone I used to know, but she had this supernatural element to her where she could spontaneously freeze-frame her face into every horrifying thing I'd ever seen and scare the everloving hell out of me. Anyway, for some reason she wanted me and mine dead.

So, for what felt like hours, she tailed me through this dream. At one point my family hid me in some sort of oncology nursing home where you could buy "average beds for $5 or a really nice bed if your family wants to spend $7". But she followed me there, killing off the employees. At one point there was a thunderstorm and I jolted out of my dream-sleep to see her at the window, cutting the screen with a big knife and grinning at me with this insanely evil and grotesque grimace.

Still later, I abandoned the oncology place and was back in this big house. She found me there, too. At one point I glanced out the window and she was all twisted up like a pretzel, walking on her fingertips across my darkened yard, completely covered in blood and looking at me. Yeesh, still having chills thinking about it.

Nevertheless, for some reason in this environment I decided to have a dinner party. Then I became concerned that she was going to show up and stalk my dinner guests as they arrived, so I was watching out the window. This nurse I used to work with IRL showed up, I saw her car pull up as I watched out the window.

I suddenly had some psychic flash forward to the crazy woman killing her, dismembering her, and arranging the pieces in my yard for me to see. So as the nurse stood by her car and smoked a cigarette, I became frantic to get her in safely.

So I went outside, only to find myself on this shoddily-built deck that was only wide enough for people to walk single file on it. It ran the length of the house and was built on this soft embankment next to a stone wall and some poison ivy, and it was about 75 feet in the air on the very edge of a cliff. I shouted to the nurse and she put her cigarette out and waved, and came up to where I was. Then we had to navigate this thing back toward the house.

I was just telling her "I'm sorry this deck is so flimsy, my puppy had surgery and we needed the dirt that was under it" when the deck started to give way and fall off the face of the cliff. I made a frantic grab for poison ivy and sandstone, and then lost hold and tumbled backwards. I was in the process of falling to what I knew was my death, waiting for the impact, when I jerked awake.

[Pentegarn]

Originally Posted by Womti

mai dreams are like movies

So you masturbate a lot in them?

[Esuohlim]

In my dream last night I was helping elx get laid and Gus was getting mad at me

I dream about you I-Mock fuckers way too often

[Kitsa]

A lot of it has already faded, but in my dream last night my parents were Madeleine Kahn and some well-known older male comedian, and they were coming to parent-teacher day at my school. Madeleine Kahn barged into my science class and announced that we needed to start fermenting bread into alcohol, and she started taking slices of white bread out of a bag and mashing them into tupperware.

Later, I was in some sort of "jail" in the school. Really, it was just the end of a hallway and I was barricaded in by a large, laser-cut steel panel that had pictures of hands on jail bars and sad faces and stuff all over it. Then I was trying to get my backpack so I could leave. That's all I can remember.

[Shrubfest]

I just read the Hannibal series, thus Hannibal dreams.

Dream 1: all the odd romance feelings between Starling and Lecter were between Starling and Buffalo Bill. I was Starling. Bill was dead but possessing a room. Awkward.
Dream 2: I was the doting younger sister of the Vergers. Then an asshole stepdad(?) told me all the bad things about Mason. I was heartbroken and ran away, assuming he was just planning on raping me too someday.

[All Hail Duke]

had a The Dark Knight Rises dream a couple nights ago

it actually started out like The Mighty Ducks, and some older jock dickhead was picking on a kid, then the janitor came out (Bane) and threatened to kick the kids ass when he turned 18 and then proceeded to kick the shit out of his dad
then it cut to the cafeteria where Bane was having his lunch and Jean Claude Van Damme wanted to fight him, but ended up getting torn in half
then it cut to how he became Bane and he decided to turn evil after watching Hulk Hogan surf during a storm, then it cut to him getting strangled by Batman with a toy wire

[Kitsa]

I had a dream that was more like watching a movie. Justin Long (must have been because I watched that college movie of his the other day) had dropped out of school and was making a living by vacuuming stuff off the floors of movie theaters with a wet-dry vac. Most of the dream was a voiceover of him telling how he did it, how you got gum out from between the seats, etc.

The last thing I remember was a movie-like shot of a theater audience. He was sleeping in one of the seats and his dad and brother were in front of him, dumping popcorn on the floor.

When I woke up, there was an infomercial on about a combo wet-dry vac and leafblower.

[Nick]

I wish I could report in with some new freaky ass dreams of mine, but it seems I've just been passing out and rolling around every few hours instead of having a nice fantasy adventure.

[Shrubfest]

Kitsa, I just watched a program called 'Dangerous Dreams' from Channel 4.

The woman in it reminded me of you, and this thread.

Please don't start freaking out that your dreams will kill you.

[Womti]

Originally Posted by Pentegarn

So you masturbate a lot in them?

no... I walk alot and do alot of things. mostly just go places or look at skies

[ThrashO]

I'm sitting at the social security office right now waiting to get a new SS card (mine was in my wallet which was stolen) and I never knew how crazy this place was. Its like 2 DMV's took a dump in a post office at 5:55pm on Friday. I've been waiting nearly an hour and a half and this thread has kept me thoroughly entertained

Anyways, I've been looking for a new job and on top of getting my wallet stolen I've been really stressed out lately. And with stress for me breeds freaky ass dreams.

Anyways, I had a dream that I was part of a buddy-buddy cop duo and me and my partner were trying to run down some thief who was running away on foot. He has on this tan business suit and waw kind of chubby. Anyways I remember feeling like he was getting away even though I was in a car so I sped up. I ended up bumping him, knocking him forward and pinning his head between the bumper and a wall. I remember getting out and telling my buddy to back the car off him.

When the car pulled off the guy's entire skin on his head just slid off and it was just a bloody skull with no eyes or muscles and he was grabbing at his face and trying to scream. I just remember the skin so vividly slipping off his head like a wet bag. I woke up, really freaked out.

The same night I woke up and was half awake/half asleep partially dreaming, and I looked up at my dark cieling to see a square window and a dark figure looking down at me. It kept getting sharper and clearer until I jumped out of bed, flipped the light on to realize there was nothing there. I did not go back to sleep that night :/

[k0k0]

I don't usually have dreams, but these antibiotics I'm taking are fucking with me. I just took a 2 hour nap while waiting for tf2 to finish downloading and I think I woke up because my dream actually got boring.

I was in highschool again with my 2 roommates and we were supposed to pick either a red side or a purple side. I chose red, which turned out to be the word BORN. Purple was another word that I can't remember. I had to choose a song that had to do with that word and sing it karaoke style in front of the highschool. The only song I could think of was Born to Die by Choking Victim. For some reason people kept telling me not to sing it because of the tone of the music, but I kept on. I don't remember why, but I decided to search the lyrics on the net. I know the lyrics, so not sure why I'd do this. And like 20 dream minutes were me typing and mistyping the band and song name into google. I think around then is when I woke up because I was bored. Not sure.

[ThrashO]

Originally Posted by k0k0

I don't usually have dreams, but these antibiotics I'm taking are fucking with me. I just took a 2 hour nap while waiting for tf2 to finish downloading and I think I woke up because my dream actually got boring.

I was in highschool again with my 2 roommates and we were supposed to pick either a red side or a purple side. I chose red, which turned out to be the word BORN. Purple was another word that I can't remember. I had to choose a song that had to do with that word and sing it karaoke style in front of the highschool. The only song I could think of was Born to Die by Choking Victim. For some reason people kept telling me not to sing it because of the tone of the music, but I kept on. I don't remember why, but I decided to search the lyrics on the net. I know the lyrics, so not sure why I'd do this. And like 20 dream minutes were me typing and mistyping the band and song name into google. I think around then is when I woke up because I was bored. Not sure.

I've had dreams like that, where you kind of go in and out of sleeping, and you keep telling yourself you have to finish this (ie. typing a band name correctly, or with me one time I was looking for something, another time I was trying to cook something) and you're so intent on getting it done and you feel almost restless. Then you finally open your eyes for real and go:

"What the fuck am I doing. I don't have to do anything except sleep."

And then you fall asleep where you continue to mistype the band name. I've had so many weird instances like this before

[Esuohlim]

Originally Posted by Womti

no... I walk alot and do alot of things. mostly just go places or look at skies

Womit, this ain't the Your WETTEST dreams thread

[Pentegarn]

I want to know what movies he is watching if he thinks walking around looking at skies is like a movie.

Maybe a shitty college student movie

[Zhukov]

So I had a frightening dream last night that I was on a dock during a raging storm, and I had to hold onto my suitcase and jacket to prevent them from being washed away. There was a bald man next to me who lost all his stuff, but what can you do? It's a dream.

[Sam]

I had a dream that I ate a bunch of oatmeal, then I was drinking milk out of the carton, then I threw up into the milk and it was all vomit and oatmeal and milk, then I re-ate it.

It smelled like brown sugar oatmeal.

[Kitsa]

I had a dream last night that was entirely in French. I have no idea why, but I know that all of the characters spoke only French.

The rest of the details have mostly faded, but there was a surreal sort of Cirque du Soleil quality to it. At one point there was a parade and a man in a costume was proudly riding a blue bicycle down the street. He got off the bicycle in the middle of the parade and dropped it behind him as he stopped to stand, all puffed-out in his costume with his hands on his hips, to admire something. Some other guy in a foam rusted-suit-of-armor costume came up behind him and took the bicycle.

He saw the guy as the guy was trying to push the bike past him and said, "I could prosecute you!" The thief said something threatening back, and the first guy decided to let him go.

It was a very stupid, very French dream.

[Pentegarn]

This bot program (the one running Yingchun) is sophistimacated

[k0k0]

I know man, you think he'd be able to figure out the reason his arms are always numb is because he's a fucking robot. Beep boop, what is love?

[Kitsa]

I had a dream last night that two of my least favorite people were all rolled up in one person. And there was something scratching the ceiling from the attic, but I refused to look up there because I knew it was Kayako from the ju-on movies.