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SenorSalsa SenorSalsa is offline
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Old Feb 22nd, 2003, 12:13 AM        My mom, dad's, and I's sexual encounter.
I am 14, my dad is 48 and my mom is 45. One day i had to mow the lawn, and i was in the back yard going back and forth down the lawn and I see my mom and dad staring at me through the window and looking worried and giggling at the same time. so i finish the back yard and im gonna go work on the front yard and get an iced tea becaue im sweating like that cop in Resevuar Dogs who gets his ear chopped off by Mr. Blonde. So i get the iced tea and am half way through with the front lawn and i have a really bad case of ball chap and my mom comes out wearing a really short skirt which looks hideous because she ways about 245+ pounds and she pushes me over and pulls down my athletic shorts and starts banging my flacid dick against her tongue. Now its getting really hard and she is squating over while my back is on the push-along lawnmower and fingering herself choking on my dick which is now causing her to vomit up my semen because it triggered a gag reflex when it shot into the back of her throat. I am using the gas cap to analy pleasure myself and all of the sudden my dad comes out in the nude wearing a fez hat and smoking a cigar. now by seing my dad's semi hard cock i start spewing all over my moms face who starts spraying mung all over the grass. (keep in mind that this is the middle of the day in the front yard). Now my dad who is a very passionate massochist/sadomasochist wastes no time getting to the pain and stabs my mom in the thighs with one of those little flower shovles. My mom crys out in pain and punches my dad in the stomach and he cums on her stomach just like i think about doing to the Olsen twins. So we are all having sex on the lawnmower and we are covered in reproductive juces and i am very uncomfortable because i am on the bottom and all of their weight is on top of me. My dad is dangling his balls over the whirrling blades of the lawnmower while my mom is hitting him on the sholders to try to make him squat to cut off his balls while i have my arms and legs wrapped around my moms chest and am doing her in the butt, but im not really humping im just kind of pathetically convulsing while i keep shooting into her anus and feeling my dads fingers against my dick while his fingers are in her vagina. So my dad whips out this silver pistol and shoots my mom in the corroted artory and she is on the ground screaming in agony and bleeding to death while me and my dad are spewing cum on eachother. So now my mom is dead and its just me and my dad. he gives me the pistol and told me to shoot him in the thighs and i do. on the fleshy inside of the thighs and it made a sound like hitting raw steak with a spoon. so my dad passes out and i call the ambulence and piss on him so the police think my mom and him were having sex so i wouldent have to go to the hospital where my doll Mr.Livingston visits me. i wish he would leave me alone.
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Skulhedface Skulhedface is offline
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Old Feb 23rd, 2003, 06:39 PM       
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA ball chap
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The Retro Kat The Retro Kat is offline
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Old Feb 26th, 2003, 05:29 PM       
WHOA! YOUR FAT MOM AND YOUR DAD SCREWING AND SPEWING YOU! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!





Your life rules.
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?
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Old Feb 26th, 2003, 07:34 PM       
I think that SenorSalsa likes to pound the old pud a little too much



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SenorSalsa SenorSalsa is offline
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Old Feb 27th, 2003, 11:07 AM       
keep in mind that this story is "compleatly true"
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The Retro Kat The Retro Kat is offline
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Old Mar 3rd, 2003, 05:24 PM       
Speaking of chafing...
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Old Mar 8th, 2003, 11:49 AM       
Might try http://www.forumrejects.com/ next! :/
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Spectre X Spectre X is offline
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Old Mar 8th, 2003, 04:10 PM       
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, my fucking eyes! couldn't you put a warning in the beginning? like "watch out! an incest experience story up ahead that will mentally burn off your retina's?"

AAAH, my eyes, that is one mental picture I'd trade my soul for to get out of my head.
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Old Mar 8th, 2003, 05:30 PM       
You must learn to "stop reading as soon as his overweight mom starts licking his dick" or better yet "don't begin reading."
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Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Mar 8th, 2003, 09:35 PM       
It was a happy and sad ending all at once!
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Spectre X Spectre X is offline
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Old Mar 9th, 2003, 06:08 AM       
revisiting this thread to see the new posts brings back all of the memories, and I'm going into a state of catatonic shock...there's no place like home, there's no place like home...aaaaaaaargh!
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everybody knows that pterodactyls hate the screech of a guitar :o
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Captain Robo Captain Robo is offline
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Old Mar 11th, 2003, 09:36 PM       
THIS THREAD IS A RETARD MAGNET
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[center:0d86ca9581][/center:0d86ca9581]
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Old Mar 12th, 2003, 02:50 PM       
if not for the atrocious grammar displayed in the title of this thread, i may have attempted wading into that long-arsed paragraph.
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Spectre X Spectre X is offline
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Old Mar 13th, 2003, 11:34 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Robo
THIS THREAD IS A RETARD MAGNET
indeed, look! you posted here!
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everybody knows that pterodactyls hate the screech of a guitar :o
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MaskedMonk MaskedMonk is offline
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Old Mar 13th, 2003, 02:17 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectre X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Robo
THIS THREAD IS A RETARD MAGNET
indeed, look! you posted here!
That's the most ironic insult ever.

(POSTING that someone else posting makes them a retard, I mean, not Spectre X calling someone a retard. Just wanted to make that clear.)
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SenorSalsa SenorSalsa is offline
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 04:05 AM       
Sorry about the warning thing, you kind of should not read it once you see the title and it invlolves sex and parents . Sorry i gave you all seizures and made you retarted :/
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SenorSalsa SenorSalsa is offline
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 04:29 AM        Old ladys sure do have dry poonanys!
So I was doing this service hour thing for my school right? The deal is that you have to have 10 school hours and 6 comunity hours. So i was planning on serving my community hours by visiting the old folks home where my granny lived. I hung around with some old people 1 on 1 you know? I played the piano for miss ross who was clically insane and was convicted of shooting puppies in the head while she sat in trees at the park. I played with mr. Sweene and he beat me at checkers really badly.
Now it was time to visit granny who is very old in senile. I went to her room ( number 69 BAD OMEN!!!!) and came in with some groceries i had bought for her. She thanked me and i flashed her a big smile. She was watching tv while I put the food away in the kitchen which was adjacent to the tv room. I diddent know what she was watching because she blew her speaker by listning to it full volume a few months ago so all i was hearing was loud feeback and the occasional deep boom noise. So i come into the room and she is watching hardcore german porn! At this point i am totally shocked and horrified. i go "bye granny i have to go" and she asks as i am going out the door. "will you make love to me?"
I am horrified but she starts putting me on a guilt trip like "ever since your grandfather died i havnt had sex, and i am going to die soon of my colon cancer :/ i would really like one more pounding." So after a few minutes of thinking about it i block out my mind and i say "ok fine"
She is wearing an old plad blue dress and a white blouse and her skin on her neck is hanging down to her chest while both eyes look in different directions. Funny. I had never realized how attractive my granny was. I imediatly go down on her and her dress is over my head and her hands are clutching her walker as she is obviously feeling it. So i am licking away and it reminds me of the time i was licking sandpaper for half an hour just to see if i could make my toung bleed. Anyway, i pull the dress off of her and some of her loose skin is rolling down with it, kind of like a ripple in a lake. and i prop her up and start doing her in the butt. I can feel her cancerous tumor against my dick and it causes me to shoot my load inside of her and she is going nuts and clawing at the chair. She starts urinating onto the chair (uncontrolably, i must be good in bed ) and its getting repelled off of the plastic laminated cussions and is landing on my pants which are around my anckles, so i just take them off. Her cancer is on the side of my shaft and i am pumping away still shooting off inside of the old hag when she climaxed. She climaxed a mix of blood, mucus, and sand and it shot out of her vagina and plastered her tv dinner against the wall with a stickey residue. I went nuts and put my dick in her flappy pussy and was having my way with her when my dad walked in! Like a scene out of a cheesy 70's sitcom he walks in the door with his hand still on the knob and the audience is aplauding because he is their favorite character. He dons the famous fez hat and is holding an empty martini glass while staring at me and granny. In his other hand he is holding his trusty pistol. "Matt what are you doing, oh have i caught you at a bad time?" Granny says "No son, why dont you join in, i could use a nice cock like yours in my tookus." I am reminded of my experience on the lawnmower and my family incest has reached a new platou of awesomeness.
Now i am lying on my back, granny is lying on me and my dad is on top fucking her in the butt like a bull or a perverse party clown and he is jizzing away on her back. Dad is putting the pistol in his mouth and sucking it like a cock while granny is sucking on one of the legs of her overturned walker, and i am kissing her on the neck. Her loose skin makes her like one of those squishythings where you squeeze it and it goes back and fourth through the plastic covering making it easy on me and dad to sex her up. I am killing her with my massive hard on when i knotice that she is getting cold. I go "Granny are you sick?" No reply. "granny?" Still no reply. dad says "Oh, she finally died" I say "dad how could you not know she was dying, she was looking right at you!" and thats when i knoticed the gigantic bullet wound in the back of her head. "Dad hahahaha" i said as we both chuckled together at the sight of my grandmothers teeth blown out of her head, and sticking into the wall. "why did you kill granny dad?" and he said "Because it turns me on. Then he pistol whipped me in the nose, pulled out of grannys corpse and left the room. I finished granny off and then picked the teeth and hair off the wall and put them in the garbage. As i walked out i felt like a new man, i love my family!
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Lum Buf Lum Buf is offline
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 04:32 AM       
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA i love your work. ive never been in that situation, but an irishman fed me my own penis in a stew once.
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Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 11:33 AM       
I REMEMBER THIS THREAD

IT WAS GAY
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SenorSalsa SenorSalsa is offline
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 01:04 PM       
U R teh fagrort my friend lolololololololololol

Omg wtf bbq

Edited for scrolling.
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Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 06:25 PM       
Quote:
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Omg wtf bbq
CRAPPY SOMETHINGAWFUL REFERENCE THAT EVERYONE TRIES TO PASS AS ORIGINAL
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 06:38 PM       
omfg wtf bbq

whst the fuck is wrong with that?
pllllllllllllltt
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Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Jun 14th, 2003, 06:46 PM       
<(''<) <( '' )> (>'')> ^( '' )^

KIRBY DANCE ^_^

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Old Aug 10th, 2003, 11:54 PM       
queer...i like his stories they make my mum have a sezuire
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Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Aug 11th, 2003, 12:15 AM       
DEAR WANG: 7 WEEKS IS WAY TOO LONG WANG
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