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  #26  
MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
Hitler's Canoe!
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Location: UK
Old Apr 11th, 2008, 08:54 PM       
Quote:
- YOU'RE GONNA QUIT SMOKING POT IN A FEW YEARS ANYWAY SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER STARTING
Tell my past self that one too. What a fucking waste of 4 years.
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japan
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  #27  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
teacup of sunshine
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Location: curator of the WTFbus museum
Old Apr 11th, 2008, 08:58 PM       
That's good to know, because I never did drugs and always wondered if I'd missed out.
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  #28  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Location: Philadelphia
Old Apr 11th, 2008, 10:45 PM       
- Relax a little; don't be such an uptight prick all the freaking time.
- Apply to more than 2 colleges (idiot)
- The exchange student wants you - go for her, and stay away from the freshman (she's insane)
- Do the God Damned reading, you son of a bitch.
- You're here to learn, not to order out and play cards.

That just about covers it.
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The future is fun,
The future is fair.
You may already have won!
You may already be there.
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  #29  
Asila Asila is offline
GET OUT
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Location: Black Books
Old Apr 11th, 2008, 10:53 PM       
Quote:
That's good to know, because I never did drugs and always wondered if I'd missed out.
You know, I did the pot thing once and was glad that I did, so at least I could say that I knew what it was like
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I'm about to stop playing "Who Should I Kill First" in my head, and go with what feels natural.
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  #30  
Matt Harty Matt Harty is offline
Dirty Girl
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Old Apr 12th, 2008, 07:30 AM       
Wear condoms idiot.
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  #31  
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
Clap if you love Dynamo
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: In a dystopian future
Old Apr 12th, 2008, 11:29 AM       
There are a ton for me.

"Don't drink that beer, and the several thousand others you will subsequently drink. They will only make your gut fat"
"Debt sucks, 75% of the shit you think you need you will ultimately regret ever buying because you will not use it in the end (I am looking at you XM radio)"
"Long distance relationships do not work. And when you get a chance to find that out firsthand, save yourself time and just walk away from that."
"Trust your instincts about your classmates, don't give them the benefit of the doubt ever."
"Get into the fire safety and security business as soon as you can. Don't waste your time working for Limited Brands, they have NO loyalty to their employees and no real business sense."
"Caffeine is HIGHLY addictive. Whatever you do do NOT try Code Red Mt. Dew"
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  #32  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
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Location: TO-DO LIST: WATCH TWIN PEAKS. CALL MOM.
Old Apr 12th, 2008, 03:09 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt Harty View Post
Wear condoms idiot.


HI MATT "THE PARTY" HARTY
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  #33  
Fat_Hippo Fat_Hippo is offline
Feel the guilt
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Switzerland
Old Apr 14th, 2008, 09:37 AM       
"Don't eat that blue lollipop, it'll make your shit green."

"Stop being such a pussy; punch more people in the face when they won't fucking listen." Oh wait, I should still do that.

"Don't enroll in that fucking school, who cares if you can go to university or not. You don't know what you wanna do anyway, and it'll just increase the amount of time you waste travelling back and forth from school from 10 minutes to 1 and a half hours per day. It's not worth it, and you don't need to learn latin anyway."
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the Swiss are not afraid to beat their women with oversized novelty chocolate bars
He speaks truth!
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  #34  
T-Rex T-Rex is offline
!!!
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Old Apr 14th, 2008, 09:58 AM       
Don't get a Facebook account.

Be more responsible with your money.

Just because the hot girl in the shop told you her birthday doesn't mean you should get her something you fucktard. You live in a small town. You're fucked everytime you see her, even years from now. Seriously past me, you made things awkward for future me and he really doesn't appreciate your shit.
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  #35  
Seven Force Seven Force is offline
Let's play Hardball!
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Location: Under my desk, MSNBC
Old Apr 14th, 2008, 02:46 PM       
oh god it finally happened

GBS has come to I-Mockery
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Ha!
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  #36  
StalfrosGR StalfrosGR is offline
The Slippery Skipper
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Austin, Tx
Old Apr 14th, 2008, 03:31 PM       
Just because she will play Warcraft with you doesn't mean it is true love.
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  #37  
WhiteRat WhiteRat is offline
Beloved Cunt
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Location: San Antonio, TX
Old Apr 14th, 2008, 06:42 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seven Force View Post
oh god it finally happened

GBS has come to I-Mockery
I see the threadshitting from GBS is here as well.
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...and so Hurley said: "Get your money, man. Don't be no couch potato hustla."
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  #38  
McClain McClain is offline
Fuck Yeah
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Location: Hoosier
Old Apr 15th, 2008, 12:12 AM       
1) You shouldn't have put your penis in there.
2) Why didn't you bang that chick?
3) Buy stock in Apple.
4) Why didn't you bang that chick?
5) Why did you bang that chick?
6) Enjoy being hairless. It won't last.
7) Until you're 22, nothing you do means a damn thing.
8) Try out Japan.
9) CLOSED-BETA! DO IT!
10) Fuck writing for I-Mockery. Write for National Lampoon!
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Last edited by Chojin : Jan 1st, 2000 at 12:01 AM.
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  #39  
The One and Only... The One and Only... is offline
Mocker
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Location: Harlem
Old Apr 15th, 2008, 12:25 AM       
Never trust people on buses.
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I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all is vanity and a chase after wind.
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  #40  
Fat_Hippo Fat_Hippo is offline
Feel the guilt
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Switzerland
Old Apr 15th, 2008, 06:17 AM       
"Don't pet that siamese cat for the next 2 hours. You don't know it yet, but you're allergic, and if you pet that cat, it will make the next 2 days of your life painful as shit, so don't do it. Seriously."

"Play outside more, so I...you...we don't have so many allergies later on. Stop playing with clay, drawing stickmen and playing pc games! There's a wonderful sandbox outside; USE IT! That way, maybe I won't have all these fuck-...you're 4, aren't you? Anway, just do it, so I don't have to suffer."

"You were totally right in jabbing that pencil in your brothers back. Totally. You may have doubts now, but ten years later, you'll realize that it was SO worth it. So don't hesitate, and jab away."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grislygus View Post
the Swiss are not afraid to beat their women with oversized novelty chocolate bars
He speaks truth!
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  #41  
liquidstatik liquidstatik is offline
kitatsdiuqil
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Location: Seattle, WA
Old Apr 15th, 2008, 03:27 PM       
- DO BETTER IN SCHOOL
- STOP SKIPPING SCHOOL 'CAUSE YOU JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT
-
DON'T STOP DRAWING, YOU'LL REGRET IT LATER WHEN YOU SUCK AGAIN
- STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH EVERY GIRL, THAT JUST MAKES DUDES THINK YOU'RE A FAGGOT AND GET NO SEX
- GET A GOD DAMN JOB (I'M LOOKING AT YOU TOO, CURRENT SELF)
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  #42  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
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Old Apr 15th, 2008, 03:33 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by The One and Only... View Post
Never trust people on buses.
RAPE
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IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
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  #43  
Seven Force Seven Force is offline
Let's play Hardball!
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Location: Under my desk, MSNBC
Old Apr 15th, 2008, 05:16 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by The One and Only... View Post
Never trust people on buses.
i remember that...
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Ha!
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  #44  
Fat_Hippo Fat_Hippo is offline
Feel the guilt
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Location: Switzerland
Old Apr 15th, 2008, 06:48 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by liquidstatik View Post
- GET A GOD DAMN JOB (I'M LOOKING AT YOU TOO, CURRENT SELF)
This explains how you can be here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grislygus View Post
the Swiss are not afraid to beat their women with oversized novelty chocolate bars
He speaks truth!
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  #45  
Emu Emu is offline
Level 29 ♂
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Location: Peoria, IL
Old Apr 15th, 2008, 09:08 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seven Force View Post
oh god it finally happened

GBS has come to I-Mockery
Actually IIRC this post predates the one in GBS.
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  #46  
MadballChibcha MadballChibcha is offline
El Mago Norrea
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: En medio e los putos Andes
Old Apr 15th, 2008, 10:55 PM       
Thing IŽd say to my younger self:

Ask for another highschool. A co-ed one preferably.
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  #47  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: TO-DO LIST: WATCH TWIN PEAKS. CALL MOM.
Old Apr 16th, 2008, 01:03 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by T-Rex View Post
Don't get a Facebook account.
Are you kidding Facebook helped me get laid
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YOU MUST SPREAD SOME REPUTATION AROUND BEFORE GIVING IT TO SAM AGAIN
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  #48  
Sethomas Sethomas is offline
Antagonistic Tyrannosaur
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Location: The Abstruse Caboose
Old Apr 16th, 2008, 01:29 AM       
Man, I really love to bring up social networking sites from a sociological standpoint as far as how they're going to destroy us more likely than make us stronger, but then I consider how much effect FB has had in my sexual (mis)adventures and I'm torn.
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SETH ME IMPRIMI FECIT
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  #49  
JediScum JediScum is offline
Creepy Old Fart
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Illinois
Old Apr 16th, 2008, 01:36 AM       
Work on more upper body strength.

Hitchhike to Chicago so you can see Big Black before they break up.

Learn Greek, Arabic and Sanskrit alphabets.

Never watch "Nacho Libre".

Oh, yeah, pack some pillows and blankets in that shitty car you have. Drive more girls around instead of those dipshit guys who never give you gas money.

Take gymnastics.

Keep skating.
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  #50  
Dread Naught Dread Naught is offline
One bad person
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Any where you want me to.
Old Apr 16th, 2008, 07:28 PM       
1-The pretty young blonde in 2nd grade is more trouble than she's worth.
2-Next time you hit a kid in the nose, make sure it does more than make it bleed for two weeks.
3-Don't listen to your heart, it will lead you away from what you need to do.
4-Sue those bastards.
5-Believe in yourself and trust no one.
6-Don't go after girls wearing glasses.
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Hey guess what? By reading this, I just took time out of your life. By continueing to read this, I'm slowly causing the sands that are your life to slip through your fingers. Because its what you deserve!
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