Pennsylvania Kerry Rally! Asterisks!

[Anonymous]

Hey y'all! We went to the Kerry rally today and had a blast and a few other people showed up.













That last one has a big version if you click on it. The crop really doesn't do it justice.

Okay, just kidding, guys. Only this guy showed up.



But at least we got a picture with him.



Of course, all vets hate Kerry, so there were none of them there.



Except for that guy.



And that guy.



And that guy, but he doesn't count cause I didn't get a frontal picture of his hat.

Of course, such a display of democracy made Jesus incredibly angry, and the fountains ran pink with the blood of aborted babies nationwide.



So, of course, Emily couldn't resist playing in it.



Naturally, Jesus himself was well-represented at the event as well.



I love that sign. It's like, "Don't get an abortion - I hear it's pretty icky." Next in this line of thinking will be the slogan "Appendectomies - isn't all the blood going a little too far?"

The liberal media was also represented:





There's this dude, too, who looks kinda familiar.



Sadly, the most liberal station of all apparently couldn't make it.







I mean, fuck, even TOKYO NEWS was there.



MIX MASTER DJ JAZZY STEVE ON THE SET Y'ALL



SNIPERS ON THE SET Y'ALL



TREE-HUGGING LIBERALS IN ATTENDANCE Y'ALL



HAITI APPARENTLY REPRESENTIN', Y'ALL

And then confetti goes everywhere and Clinton's entrance music blares from the line arrays! (I'm not kidding)



ANYBODY HERE FROM PENNSYLVANIA?



YOU WAIT IN LINE, KERRY, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. MY FELLOW AMERICANS! GOTS ANY GUM?



PHILADELPHIA IS FEELIN' IT



OKAY FUCK I'M HERE GUYS BILL YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING SHOW-STEALER YOU KNOW THAT YOU PRICK YEAH HA HA I'M KIDDING GUYS THAT BILL'S SUCH A CARD. Uh... ANYBODY HERE FROM PENN- Oh, Bill already did that? Shit.



I PLAN TO WIN THE PRESIDENCY WITH THE MIGHT OF MY AMAZING PILEDRIVER. I WILL PICK BUSH UP, INVERT HIM LIKE SO, AND GENTLY YET FIRMLY GRIP HIS SPINE AS I DRIVE HIS HEAD INTO THE MAT FOR THE 1-2-3. AM I RIGHT GUYS.



All that talk about gripping got Kerry's bodyguard pretty hot, understandably. Look at him eyeing him with longing, unrequitted lust.



The first touch was something of a surprise and Kerry shook with a violent jolt.





Thankfully for all parties, the supple grasping of Agent Smith was eventually accepted as a necessary evil and a good time was had by all.



And then, ArrowX's unreasonably gigantic, pudgy, and emaciated mitt reaches out to get in on the hot amateur presidential elect action.



Kerry swiftly dodges while posing for the crowd.



"I'm out, bizzies!"

"I love you."

Well, the day came to a close and we made some good new friends.



...And all was peaceful in Philadelphia.







"So, what did you think of this informative vignette?"

"'Wiener.'"

Honestly, we had a lot of fun and it was refreshing to see so many Kerry supporters in attendance. After all the senators came up (some of whom were overly religious, but one of whom said "Bush thinks God talks to him. That scares the shit out of me.") some woman came through the crowd with blue tickets and let us move up closer, which is what the far-away pics of clinton and kerry are from. Afterwards, the crowd began to disperse and we moved way up. Emily almost touched Kerry ;< KERRY YOU MIGHT HAVE AMAZING HAIR BUT IF YOU TRY TO MUSCLE IN ON MY WOMAN YOU'LL BE IN A WORLD OF PRESIDENTIAL PAIN, YOU HEAR ME?

There were a grand total of about 10 protestors. But hey, at least they're fucking allowed to protest at a Kerry rally. Clinton was great as usual and his best line was "If you have a man who wants you to be be afraid and a man who wants you to hope, you want the man who wants you to hope," (Or something). Kerry's best line was "During the debates, Bush sat at a podium across from me and kept saying 'It's hard work. It's hard work. It's hard work.' Well, in eight days, I'll be more than happy to relieve him of that work," (Or something).

We met a couple nice people named Steve and Ellana (i don't know how to spell) and we walked 234234 miles to a taco bell afterwards and met another kerry supporter and we all say down and pretended to be important. In the ninth hour of the night, we headed back to b-more and I sat down and started writing this.

GOOD NIGHT, AND MAY GOD CONTINUE TO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT AMERICA.

[Anonymous]

Oh i forgot here is the picture of us. I look terrible like usual in it.

[executioneer]

secrat white supremicy

[Emu]

New NewsMax Headline:
"JOHN KERRY HAS PUBLIC MANSEX BEFORE CROWD"

[rook]

Originally Posted by Emu

New NewsMax Headline:
"JOHN KERRY HAS PUBLIC MANSEX BEFORE CROWD"

kerry's always mansexing in public with edwards.
i got sent a photo of them holding hands b/c i gave $$$ to the democrats. it's on my fridge b/c i'm always hungry for gay.

the rally was right by my dad's office.

[rook]

oh kerry's manhandler is hot.

[Dole]

Cool pictures, nice one!

[FS]

That was great.

From what I saw of the rally on TV (I wonder if I could've seen any of you there?), Clinton still beats Bush and Kerry put together when it comes to charisma.

[the_dudefather]

Originally Posted by Chojin

Oh i forgot here is the picture of us. I look terrible like usual in it.

woah, you have a t-shirt with your avatar on it

[Dole]

We all do. It comes with official vet status. You have to wear it FOREVER though.

[VinceZeb]

Nice to see all the Kerry supporters were bright enough to converge on one spot. I'm sure the short buses were burning the midnight oil on that day!

[Dole]

Vince baby! so where were you when sspad showed up? Hmm?
Chickenshit.

[FS]

Oh my God!

[VinceZeb]

Originally Posted by Dole

Vince baby! so where were you when sspad showed up? Hmm?
Chickenshit.

I'd liked to go, but my appendix on that day decided to flare and burst and well, my life > meeting someone off of here.

[Zhukov]

Hey Vince, welcome back.

Everyone has been worried, are you ok?

[the_dudefather]

Originally Posted by Dole

We all do. It comes with official vet status. You have to wear it FOREVER though.

do you have an animated t-shirt?

[davinxtk]

Originally Posted by VinceZeb

I'd liked to go, but my appendix on that day decided to flare and burst and well, my life > meeting someone off of here.

You've had since the first day of June to come up with an excuse for not showing up, and that's the best you can do?

So, why'd you come back? Get your lilly ass reamed out on some other board?
Fake a meet-up plan with someone else?

Or perhaps you just miss being beaten half to death verbally on a daily basis.

Max will be excited to hear from you again.

[Zhukov]

A burst appendix can put you out of action for a long time.

[VinceZeb]

Originally Posted by davinxtk

You've had since the first day of June to come up with an excuse for not showing up, and that's the best you can do?

So, why'd you come back? Get your lilly ass reamed out on some other board?
Fake a meet-up plan with someone else?

Or perhaps you just miss being beaten half to death verbally on a daily basis.

Max will be excited to hear from you again.

I'm sorry if my illness wasn't exiciting enough for you. I guess I should have lied and said that I was wisked away to a distance galaxy to battle alien invaders The Last Starfighter-style.

[AChimp]

How absolutely inconvenient for you, Vinth. I lost my torso when my spaceship crashed into the Sun once. It put me out for months.

[davinxtk]

Originally Posted by Zhukov

A burst appendix can put you out of action for a long time.

Doesn't seem a little convenient that his internal organs would conspire to explode on precisely the date that he was to don his Warren Moon and provide comic relief for all of I-Mockery?
Not that it's particularly convenient to have an organ explode or anything.

Originally Posted by VinceZeb

I'm sorry if my illness wasn't exiciting enough for you. I guess I should have lied and said that I was wisked away to a distance galaxy to battle alien invaders The Last Starfighter-style.

Now that's more like it! That's something I can identify with. Something I can feel the importance of, having been there and all. They conveniently tapped me for the same purpose several weeks ago when I had a dentist appointment.
"Sorry, Dr. Auger, busy saving the universe."
"Oh, no problem, Davin. Just watch out for those Vogons. Tartar like a motherfucker, they cause."
"Word, Yoda."
And so on.

On another note, are you lurking on one of my other boards or was that Starfighter reference just out of the blue?

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by Dole

We all do. It comes with official vet status. You have to wear it FOREVER though.

I have a t-shirt with my avatar on it too....no, really.....

[Anonymous]

Uh, wasn't vince at newsfilter posting links to this board during his hiatus?

[Zebra 3]

Originally Posted by the_dudefather

woah, you have a t-shirt with your avatar on it

- Nice finishing touch, I'm impressed.

[FS]

It's crazy that no one thought of "I had a sudden mysterious medical problem" when Max was listing possible excuses Vince would come up with for standing up Sspad upon his return.

Still, this thread just became 200% more glorious.

Of course now Immortal Goat is going to show up and start baiting Vince like a rabid dog.