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  #976  
executioneer executioneer is offline
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Old Jun 30th, 2010, 01:31 AM       
> you are in a pristine operating room. in the middle of the room there is a metal operating table, with several bright lights shining onto it from the ceiling.

> you walk over to the table.

> on the table you see:
a scalpel
a small pool of blood
a piece of paper
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  #978  
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Old Jun 30th, 2010, 09:37 PM       
yes but wait a while the sword might come in useful elsewhere
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  #979  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
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Old Jun 30th, 2010, 11:20 PM       
get in small pool of blood <return>
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  #980  
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Old Jul 2nd, 2010, 01:39 AM       
> you sit down in the small pool of blood. you accidentally sit on the scalpel, too, cutting a small gash in your backside. now you have AIDS.
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  #981  
Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Jul 2nd, 2010, 05:52 AM       
Dear Willie,

Does AIDS count as an inventory item?
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  #982  
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
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Old Jul 2nd, 2010, 09:48 AM       
Quote:
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Dear Willie,

Does AIDS count as an inventory item?


I was thinking of asking this and didn't
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  #983  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old Jul 2nd, 2010, 10:38 AM       
I was going to drink the blood - boy I'm glad I refrained from playing. :whew
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  #984  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
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Old Jul 4th, 2010, 01:32 PM       
get scalpel <return>
use scalpel penis <return>
get paper <return
get penis <return>
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  #985  
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Old Jul 6th, 2010, 05:13 AM       
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Originally Posted by Zhukov View Post
Dear Willie,

Does AIDS count as an inventory item?
no but it will give annoying status messages every 100 turns or so "you feel your AIDS getting worse!"
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  #986  
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Old Jul 6th, 2010, 05:21 AM       
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Originally Posted by Evil Robot View Post
get scalpel <return>
use scalpel penis <return>
get paper <return
get penis <return>
> You pull the scalpel out from under your backside, dramatically worsening your gash. (We would like to apologize for putting the term "worsening your gash" in this game.)

> As you attempt to perform painful elective surgery on yourself, the scalpel slips out of your hand. Whoopsy-daisy!

> You look around for the piece of paper for a second, and realize you're sitting on that, too. As you tug on it, it tears in half, leaving the other half still under your bottom.

> You've already got that!
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  #987  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Jul 6th, 2010, 03:15 PM       
Dear Willie,

Did you find a costume?
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  #988  
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Old Jul 8th, 2010, 03:18 AM       
no

i think i'm gonna go as the incredible screaming man, i'm gonna scream at everyone i see
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  #989  
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Old Jul 8th, 2010, 09:06 AM       
That sounds terrifying. I can't wait.
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  #990  
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Old Jul 9th, 2010, 02:29 AM       
that is assuming of course the half-assed juggernaut costume i'm working on looks like absolute shit when i'm finished

or assuming i'm quite drunk
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  #991  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Jul 9th, 2010, 08:55 AM       
All you need is a refurbished gem of cyttorok. Sure you cna find one laying around in a flea market or a seaside cove in the area.
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  #992  
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Old Jul 9th, 2010, 10:58 PM       
i'll check craigslist
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  #993  
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Old Jul 9th, 2010, 11:53 PM       
dearest william

WHERE YOU AT DAWG


WHERE YOU AT
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  #994  
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Old Jul 10th, 2010, 06:07 AM       
still over 310
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  #995  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
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Old Jul 10th, 2010, 08:33 PM       
Jesus I'm in bad shape!
Cut out wound with scalpel <return>
cure aids with paper half <return>
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  #996  
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Old Jul 15th, 2010, 07:42 PM       
if you are the incredible screaming man will you scream at the westboro people?
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  #997  
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Old Jul 15th, 2010, 07:50 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Robot View Post
Jesus I'm in bad shape!
Cut out wound with scalpel <return>
cure aids with paper half <return>
> (getting up first)
You make like Uncle Joey and Cut. It. Out. You are now sans buttock. Opps, you dropped the scalpel again! Lousy slippery blood.

> You peer intently at the paper, looking for a recipe for an AIDS cure. Hmm, seems to be swirling around a lot, but you don't see any writing on it.

You are feeling light headed from blood loss.
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  #998  
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Old Jul 15th, 2010, 07:51 PM       
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if you are the incredible screaming man will you scream at the westboro people?
hell if i get someone to go with me we could drive-by egg them
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  #999  
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Old Jul 15th, 2010, 10:53 PM       
I'd do it i was already trying to think of ways to harass them
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  #1000  
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Old Jul 15th, 2010, 11:01 PM       
actually i bought 50 boxes of conversation hearts at the going out of business dollar store for $2, anyone want to fight hatred with the power of love
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