by: -RoG-
...CONTINUED
NEW YORK STYLE PIZZA IS GREAT, BUT BOOOOO YORK STYLE PIZZA IS EVEN BETTER! JUST ADD A FEW BLACK SNAKES AND YOUR PIZZA WILL GIVE YOUR TASTE BUDS THE HALLOLICIOUS SHAKES!
BON APPETIT, MON FRERE WOLFY POP PAL! IT'S GOOD YOU'RE EATING A WELL BALANCED MEAL, BECAUSE TASTY TREATS LIKE THIS ARE THE KIND THAT ARE RECOMMENDED BY THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE! YOU'RE GONNA NEED THE ENERGY AND VITAMINS AND MINERALS AND CRUNCHY FLAVOR CRYSTAL POWERS FOUND WITHIN THAT PIZZA, BECAUSE WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF DECORATING TO DO IN LOS HALLOWANGELES!
LOOKEE HERE! THESE LITTLE PARKING METERS ARE FEELING BLUE CUZ EVERY HATES THEM FOR CHARGING THEM JUST TO PARK THEIR GHOULISH DRAGULA DRAGSTERS! I THINK WE CAN DO SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE THE METERS MERRY!
HERE'S A QUESTION FOR YA! HOW CAN PEOPLE BE FORCED TO PAY THE PARKING METERS WHEN THEY CAN'T SEE IF THEIR TIME HAS EXPIRED? LET'S TAKE THESE HANDY DANDY ROCKABILLY VAMPIRE BAT STICKERS AND PUT THEM ON THESE PARKING METER SCREENS!
THERE WE GO! NOW THEY'RE LOOKING GOOD! IF SOMEBODY PARKS HERE, THEY'LL LOOK AT THE SCREEN AND GO, "OH! I HAVE PLENTY OF BAT MINUTES LEFT!" AND THEN IF A METER MAID TRIES TO ARGUE WITH THEM, THEY CAN SAY, "READ THE METER! IT'S THE SAME BAT TIME!" AND THEN THE METER MAID WILL SCOWL AND HOWL DUE TO OUR BATTY FOUL! BUT IT'LL BE TOO LATE, BECAUSE JUSTICE ALWAYS SIDES WITH HALLOWEEN HOOLIGAN CHAMPIONS LIKE COUNT POP AND HIS WOLFY BOPSTER PAL!
ONWARD THE NEXT DECORATION DESTINATION!
WHAT'S THAT? OH I HEAR WHAT HE'S SAYING! THIS DIRECTOR WANTS US TO TAKE ACTION! THE KIND OF ACTION THAT'S ONLY RESERVED FOR SPOOKY SUPER HALLOWEEN HEROES WHO FIGHT FOR TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN SLAY! WELL LET'S BOZADEE BOZADEE BOP ZITTY BOP OUR BRAINS TO COME UP WITH A WAY TO IMPROVE THIS DIRECTOR SO HE CAN GET BACK TO MAKING GROOVY HORROR MOVIES AND WE CAN WATCH THEM AT THE DRIVE-IN THEATER AND HAVE A FANCY LADY ON ROLLERSKATES BRING US OUR POPCORN AND CANDIES AND THEN SPILL THEM ALL OVER OUR CAR SEATS DURING A SCARY MOMENT IN THE MOVIE AND THEN LAUGH ABOUT IT WEEKS LATER WHEN WE FIND A TWIZZLER BETWEEN THE SEAT CUSHIONS AND REALIZE THAT IT'S STILL COMPLETELY EDIBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE MADE OF THE SAME MATERIAL THAT CAR TIRES ARE MADE FROM, ONLY TASTIER!
I'VE GOT IT! MISTER DIRECTOR MAN HERE IS DEMANDING ACTION, YET HE GETS NO ACTION OF HIS OWN. TRICK-OR-TREATING ACTION THAT IS! HE'S BEEN SO BUSY MAKING HORROR MOVIES AND ACTING LIKE A GROWN-UP ALL THESE YEARS THAT HE LOST THAT KOOKY KID DEEP INSIDE HIS BRAIN THAT WANTS TO DO NOTHING MORE THAN PUT ON A KILLER COSTUME AND GO OUT TRICK-OR-TREATING ON HALLOWEEN! WELL I THINK WE CAN HELP HIM OUT BY TURNING HIM INTO A ROCKABILLY VAMPIRE JUST LIKE OL' COUNT POP!
THERE WE GO! HE USED TO BE A DIRECTOR, NOW HE'S A DRACULECTOR! IF HE COMES TRICK-OR-TREATING TO YOUR HOUSE, MAKE SURE YOU GIVE HIM SOME GOOD CANDIES OR BOXES OF SPAGHETTI SO HE'LL BE INSPIRED TO MAKE MORE OF THOSE GROOVY DRIVE-IN HORROR MOVIES! NO NECCO WAFERS FOR THIS FLY GUY!
WOW! THAT SURE IS ONE BIG BOPPIN' GUITAR! I WONDER WHY THEY'RE ADVERTISING BLACK EYED PEAS ON IT? SEEMS LIKE THEY'D WANT TO PROMOTE THE SPOOKY TUNES OF COUNT POP INSTEAD OF A FOOD PRODUCT LIKE BLACK EYED PEAS. THAT'S LIKE PROMOTING LIMA BEANS ON A TROMBONE OR ARUGULA ON AN ACCORDIAN! IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO THE POPSTER BOPSTER, SO I THINK WE NEED TO GARNISH THIS GARGANTUAN GUITAR WITH GHASTLY GLEE!
JUMPIN JEEPERS CREEPERS! IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY ALREADY TRIED TO DECORATE THE GUITAR! LOOK AT THE BASE OF IT! SOMEBODY TRIED TO DECORATE IT WITH A PAIR OF PLASTIC PINK SUNGLASSES! YOU SEE THAT, WEREWOLF POP!? OUR GRITTY CITY HALLOWEEN DECORATING DITTY IS ALREADY CATCHING ON!
TELL YA WHAT THOUGH, YOUR POP PAL WILL WEAR THESE SUNGLASSES WHILE WE GIVE OUR GIGANTIC GUITAR AN EVEN BETTER MAKEOVER! LOOKIN' GOOD!
THERE WE GO! WE JUST GARNISHED THIS GARGANTUAN GUITAR WITH A SKELETON GARLAND! NOW MISTER IMMA BUMBLEBEE WILL HAVE SOME SKELE-CHUMS TO KEEP HIM COMPANY WHILE HE LEARNS TO PLAY ROCKABILLY BOPS!
TIME FOR ANOTHER JOKE!!
QUESTION: WHAT IS A BUMBLEBEE'S FAVORITE KIND OF GUITAR EFFECTS PEDAL?
ANSWER: A BUZZZZZZZ TONE PEDAL!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
WE WHO ARE ABOUT TO ROCK 'N BOP, SALUTE YOU, MR. JOHNNY RAMONE! IT'S AN HONOR JUST TO BE STANDING AT THE GRAVE OF A GROOVY GUITARIST GUY LIKE YOU! IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW HIM, JOHNNY WAS A GREAT GUY WHO KNEW THIS PUNK ROCKER GIRL NAMED SHEENA WHO WAS TAKEN AWAY BY THE KKK SO HE WANTED TO BE SEDATED BUT HE DECIDED TO BEAT ON THE BRAT WITH A BASEBALL BAT UNTIL HIS FRIENDS PULLED HIM OFF AND THEY CELEBRATED BY DOING THE BLITZKRIEG BOP IN A PET SEMATARY WHILE PEOPLE ASKED THEM "DO YOU REMEMBER ROCK 'N' ROLL RADIO?" TO WHICH THEY RESPONDED WITH THE STRENGTH TO ENDURE A TEENAGE LOBOTOMY BECAUSE THEY'RE A HAPPY FAMILY!
I SEE PEOPLE ALREADY LEFT A BUNCH OF FLOWERS AND AMERICAN FLAGS! THOSE FLAGS MUST BE A CLUE THAT THEY WANTED THE POPSTER AND HIS PATENTED AMERIPANTS™ TO GIVE JOHNNY RAMONE SOME RAMONES WORTHY HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS! NO PROBLEMO, JOHNNY! THIS PUNK ROCKER BOPPER HAS JUST WHATCHA NEED!
THERE YA GO JOHNNY! NOT ONLY DO YOU GET A KOOKY KEYTAR SO YOU CAN PLAY TWO INSTRUMENTS AT THE SAME TIME, BUT WE ADORNED YOUR PUNK ROCK GUITAR WITH A SMILING PRISMATIC SKULL FACE! HE'LL KEEP YOU COMPANY THROUGH HALLOWEEN AND BEYOND AS YOU ROCK HIS SHINY BONES WITH YOUR GROOVY GUITAR & KEYTAR HARMONIC TONES! THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL THE GREAT TUNES, JOHNNY! COUNT POP, WEREWOLF POP, AND ALL THE POPSTERS OUR THERE MISS THE RAMONES MORE THAN WE MISS HALLOWEEN COME NOVEMBER 1ST! BE SURE TO KEEP ON BOPPIN' WITH THE BEST OF 'EM IN THE AFTERLIFE AND SAY HI TO JOEY FOR US TOO!
Oh but there's still even more!
CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE TO
PAGE 4 OF COUNT POP'S STORY!
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