So you pile all the
Lincoln back in the Lincoln and drive like a Lincoln out of Lincoln to
the Lincoln memorial. You hope like hell here aren't any Lincoln Logs
there, because that would be one Lincoln too many.
"I think I left my stomach back at the McDonalds!" Cries fried head
Lincoln
"Yeah, well, I think we left the plot back there, because I'll be damned
if I know what we're hoping to find at the Lincoln memorial!" you shout,
all macho and crazed like.
You throw the Lincoln into a sweet Tokyo drift, pop the doors and the
four of you clamor up the steps, which it turns out there are sort of a
lot of. Any chance you had of making a dramatic entrance are crushed by
the hiss of overtaxed animatronic servos and your own labored husky boy
breathing.
It doesn't really matter though, because it ain't Jefferson waiting for
you, it's the three INTENSELY annoying liens from the Greenpeace web
commercial, "Alien Invasion."
They immediately begin
to drone on and on in their cultured British voices about how corporate
greed has so ruined our planet it's not even worth invading, and even
though you agree with much of the sentiment, blood begins gushing out
your ears as the total tonnage of their smug superiority crushes your
skull.
