Well, the trip's been
pretty weird so far. Trippy, you might say. Perhaps you'll have some
luck summoning the long dead TV star dog, Lassie. Of course, when you
want to properly summon a demon/TV dog, it is important that you use the
creature's true name. Unfortunately, you don't know the name of the dog
that played Lassie. Also, you've never seen the show before, and only
know about it because it was a pop culture icon that transcended its
original TV run, and went on to become the stuff of legends and
countless Timmy-fell-down-a-well jokes. Still, you're in dire straights.
Surely, the real Lassie would know to come when called, even if you were
to use his stage name.
"Laaaaaaasiiieeeee! Come hither and save me!!!"
Nothing. Oh well, you've lived a pretty good life. You'd have preferred
it not end with you getting your innards pecked by extinct reptiles, but
what're ya gonna do? Wait, what's that peeking over the pterodactyl's
wing?
Holy lucky strike,
Batman! It's the heroic canine, in the flesh! Looks like your ass isn't
doomed as you thought. Lassie'll know how to get you out of this
situation.
"Lassie, help! This Pterodactyl is carrying me off to feed to its young!
And I just can't abide by that."
Lassie takes in your plea and closes his eyes to consider the matter.
Within moments, the heroic dog has a plan. At least you think he does;
it's hard to gauge a slight nod from a dog. With nary a pause, he
springs into action. Literally. Lassie leaps off the pterodactyl's
shoulder and latches onto your ankle. You're not sure how this is
supposed to be helping, but your thoughts are jerked from that notion
when the sudden addition of all that dog weight causes you to slip out
of the pterodactyl's talons.
"Hooray, Lassie! You did it! Now all I need to do is tuck and roll…"
Hmm. You're a bit higher than you thought. That sudden jerk must have
given you enough momentum to overshoot the nearby mountainside by a
teensy bit. Stupid dog. Well, at least you can take some satisfaction in
knowing that you've killed the original Lassie.
