"Look here, Wolfie, I
know you're the best at whatever it is that you do, and that's why I
need you to start... doing... this. Anyway, look here: aliens are plotting
to take over the world. I think. I haven't exactly unearthed their
entire plan yet, but I'm working on it."
"Uh huh. Listen bub, I wasn't kidding when I said earlier. You need to
watch yourself."
"Yeah yeah yeah, listen: all these aliens, see. They're all like... well,
they're all really low-res aliens. I don't know how else to say it.
They're all like 4-bit freakazoids and they fly around in jagged, low
color count ships doing... something."
"Look pal, I didn't mean to be subtle a minute ago, but you really need
to give it a rest. There's danger everywhere."
"That's what I'm saying! See? You get it! There's dangerous, blocky
extraterrestrials lurking around every corner. And they're all corners,
so the danger is even greater!!!"
Wolverine sighs. "That does it. I don't wanna hear any more of yer
talkin'. Yer on yer own, mac." With that, he dashes off into the brush.
"Well thanks a lot," you shout after him. "It's too bad you don't have
super mutant patience, you big jerk!" Honestly, who would've thought a
guy named Wolverine would be so restless. You hear some rustling in the
bushes behind you. Good, you muse, it must be another X-Man stepping up
to fill Wolverine's shoes.
Sadly, it is not
another X-Man, or an Uncanny X-Man, or even an Ultimate X-Man. It's just
one of the Savage Land's native Man-Apes. Of course, you never read that
far into the comics. Loser. Still, you don't need to know a whole lot
about them to know they hit hard, and this one definitely does. You
should be somewhat grateful that this one decided to simply pound your
head flat. I mean, I haven't seen any Woman-Apes around lately, if you
catch my drift. You don't? Well, you're dead, so who cares?
