Hugh! Buddy! My main
man! How ya been broseph? The wife and kids doin ok? Awesome man, that's
just great. Seriously, I know we don't talk often. Actually, wait, we've
never talked before! Hahaha! Isn't that wild? WILD! But yeah man, I'm a
big fan of your body of work. Hell, I'm even a big fan of your body!
How much ya bench, anyway? 240? 300? Say, does it hurt when those
adamantium claws burst through the skin on your hands? I don't know
about you, but I'd be chuggin' the Tylenol 24/7 if I had metal claws
coming out of my hands! Ya know what I mean? Hahaha! Oh man, these are
such good times. Just two dudes hangin' out, catchin up on old times. Of
course, we didn't have any old times, but you know... every time I've
watched a movie with you in it, it's kinda like we were hanging out
together. Did I mention I'm a big fan of your body? I think I humped my
television screen a few times, but I humped it so hard that it changed
the channel to an infomercial starring Tony Little and it totally killed
my wood. What's with that guy anyway? Do you think you could beat him in
an arm wrestling match? I swear man, I'd be rootin' for ya if you ever
decide to take him on. And if you need a little something to help give
you an edge, don't be shy. Just gimme a buzz and I'll hook you up with
stuff that'll put hair on the hairs of your testicles, you know what I'm
sayin' brohem? Right on man, right on! So where are we headin? How
about we go to Starbucks for a mocha latte and then we can hit up the
clubs! It'll be just like old times again! Say, is it true that they're
making a new movie all about your Wolverine character? I gotta say I
really like the...
*C-CHWENGCHHK!*
That red text
is a representation of the sound your neck snapping... compliments of Hugh Jackman, who didn't want to hear you speak another goddamned word.
