You start to sing the
Ewok song from the end of Return of the Jedi and, in all honesty,
you have a pretty horrible voice. But considering the fact that voice of
an Ewok sounds like a baby camel with its nuts stuck in a meat grinder,
if there is one around, chances are it will think your singing is
nothing short of angelic.
The rustling from
within the corn stalks continues as you sing nervously, praying with all
your might that it is an Ewok and not some perverted yokels with a
penchant for making people squeal like those guys in Deliverance
did. And let's face it, your godawful singing pretty much sounds like
the squealing of a pig anyway, so it's highly likely that you'd attract
those kind o' people.
Just then the corn
stalks part, and from within them emerges........ HAPPY EWOKS!
*WHEW!* They start to dance and frolic there in the corn field as
you continue to sing. You think to yourself, maybe this is what life is
all about. Maybe these Ewoks aren't so bad after all. Maybe people just
gave them a bad rep because they were too "cutesy" for a movie like
Star Wars. One of the lil' Ewoks runs up to you and give you a big
Ewokian hug. Awwwwwwwwwww! Overwhelmed by all the joy and laughter, you
break down into tears and you decide that this is where you belong.
And what's that? More
rustling from the corn stalks! Hooraaaaaaay! More Ewoks have come to
join in this gleeful celebration of life and fuzzy joy!
Oh wait, no... it's a Graboid from Tremors this time.
So yeah, you and your Ewok pals are
pretty much fucked.
