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SELECT YOUR DESTINY BOOK #9 - HAUNTED MANSION MADNESS!

Desperate times call for silly measures. You pull the sea monkey packet out of your pocket, rip it open with your teeth, and pour with all your might.

Looks good enough

You just wish you had a nicer puddle for your little oceanic primates.

Luckily, the potability of the water isn't an issue, as the sea monkeys begin growing at an alarming rate. Both janitor and monster are dumbstruck by the process. You, too, are a bit confused to see some of your brine shrimp growing well beyond their normal size. One in particular grows as tall as your shoulders. Even more surprising, the giant sea monkey starts talking to you:

Monkeys... OF THE SEA!
"Ah, much better! It was awfully cramped in that packet."

You hear a distinct grumbling sound coming from what you imagine to be the sea monkey's stomach.

"Oh, looks like it's getting to be lunchtime. May I have the food packet, please?"

You frantically pat yourself down, but it looks like you only brought the one packet of sea monkeys with you. You assumed that they would be fine with helping you before needing to be fed. This could be bad.

"No food? We'll starve with no food! Oh wait, I know what to do."

The sea monkey opens its mouth and makes a strange ululating noise. Your head starts to ache, and the rooms begins to spin.

Some time later, you wake up in an unfamiliar place. It looks like the hall you were just in, only many, many times larger. And that giant sea monkey is now the size of a large building. And the janitor and monster who were after you have become giants as well, only they're looking your way and going "oooh". You wonder what has impressed them so, but are distracted by the hordes of hungry sea monkeys descending on you. And the water smells funny, too.

THE SWARM!

ENTER THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF STARTING OVER!!!

 

Reader Comments

Baron Von Snugglemittens
Oct 30th, 2009, 06:06 PM
yes! I've missed these! great stuff!
With More Yes Than Ever
Oct 30th, 2009, 06:06 PM
I was hoping that we would be blessed with such awesomeness!
Kat Kat is offline
Breathes Comics
Oct 30th, 2009, 08:36 PM
If I sleep in the nude, why am I wearing the same clothes I "rolled out of bed with in the morning"?
Member OfThe Pigmask Army
Oct 30th, 2009, 08:37 PM
"Doctor says he's got the diabetes, says that makes him hyperglycemic. Know what that is? Means he's got to get a lot of sugar in him all the time, or he'll get all listless and moody!"
One of the best Destiny Books so far.
Kat Kat is offline
Breathes Comics
Oct 30th, 2009, 08:39 PM
Of course there's also the issue of why I have toiletries when I didn't pack.

I'm still loving this. It doesn't need to make sense.
The Claw of Justice
Oct 30th, 2009, 10:28 PM
Just finished it...I haven't laughed this hard in a looooong time. Great work, guys!

Now I feel bad about my meat lips.
Funky Dynamite
Oct 30th, 2009, 10:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kat View Post
If I sleep in the nude, why am I wearing the same clothes I "rolled out of bed with in the morning"?
Two words: birthday suit.

Quote:
Of course there's also the issue of why I have toiletries when I didn't pack.
Hammerspace
Member OfThe Pigmask Army
Oct 30th, 2009, 11:37 PM
Wait a second, when you go back to your room after killing that monster, is that ghost from the "A Christmas Carol" movie starring Albert Finney as Scrooge called "Scrooge"?
I think it was a musical. My family watches it every year.
"GET OVER HERE, YOU WEIRD LITTLE MAN!"
I hate this hacker crap!
Oct 31st, 2009, 12:26 AM
Haven't had time to get through my entire adventure yet, but it is amazing. Great job guys.
Space Cowboy
Oct 31st, 2009, 07:47 AM
I would like to propose that the sentence "He flails wildly about as you punch him in the hump." is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Kudos to you guys.
King of the Monsters
Nov 1st, 2009, 01:14 AM
what? no choice that ends with you getting your nuts destroyed??? :P

kidding aside, awesome work.
Almighty Samfucius
Nov 1st, 2009, 11:56 PM
I really hate to be a wet blanket, but as an actual type 1 diabetic, I'd just like to point out that too much insulin is the cause of a diabetic seizure, not at all the solution. The solution to hypoglycemia (what causes a seizure) is more sugar, and the way to deal with a seizure in progress is to give the person a glucagon shot, which is quite distinctive from an insulin shot.
The Goddamned Batman
Nov 2nd, 2009, 06:45 PM
You know that this story is supposed to be funny, full of teh jokes, and in no way educational or based on true events, right?
Funky Dynamite
Nov 3rd, 2009, 03:47 PM
I was just glad I could spell "diabetes" correctly after years of hearing those commercials with Wilford Brimley.
Forum Virgin
Nov 8th, 2009, 12:45 PM
so, is there a good ending? I think I went through all the choices and never saw one that I would think of as a happy ending for player.

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