Damn right you're gonna get a plane ticket! You've gotta be there by the day after tomorrow, remember? No way any of those other ways could get you there in time. You head across the street to the public library and log on to one of those discount tickety websites (after finding a computer that the local homeless HAVEN'T used as a restroom) and book yourself the next flight to Olde North Fester by the Sea that's available at your local airport.

You head back to your apartment and start packing for your trip. Just as you finish, you hear screeching brakes followed by some frantic honking down in the street below.

"Huh," you think to yourself. "I don't remember seeing anything about an airport shuttle on that travel website! Guess I should've read the fine print." You rush downstairs and just as you are about to reach the door, you are struck a sound blow on the back of the head and everything goes black. When you come to, you find yourself tied hand and foot with duct tape covering your mouth, and before you is a strangely familiar face...

"This is a travelnapping," he says. "Actually, scratch that. This is just a regular kidnapping. Travelnapping involves shanghaiing people who aren't scumbag Doctor Who fans and helping them get better deals. You'll find I'm far less helpful to... your kind. I'm going to give you a piece of paper and a pen, and you're going to write down the number of someone who cares about your well-being so I can demand ransom from them. Not that... you people are really worth a whole lot to anyone, usually." Unfortunately, he's absolutely right — you give him several numbers, but nobody is willing to go for it. After the fifth number outright hangs up when your name is mentioned, he gets a (more) frightening look on his face. "Well now," he says, "YOU may not be able to find anyone who can put a price on your worthless hide, but I know a few folks I could Negotiate a good price with..."

WHOOPS, HE ACTUALLY MEANT YOUR ORGANS AND NOT YOUR HIDE! I
COULD GET A BETTER ENDING IN MY SLEEP.. IF I SLEPT! START OVER!