"I wish for a million - no, a BILLION dollars!" you stammer. Limahl nods and snaps his fingers, and a leather briefcase appears at your feet. You bend over to open it, and greedily start counting the bundles of hundred dollar bills. Wait a second, HUNDRED dollar bills? "Hey, this is only a million!" you complain. With an obnoxious grin on his face, Limahl says "Sorry, friend. You just get the one wish. Should've gone with the billion first! Bye!" Then with a flash of light the 80s pop stars disappear, leaving you dumbstruck.

A LOUSY MILLION?!

"Oh FANTASTIC. A *MILLION* dollars. That's barely enough to buy a nice house! I WILL STILL PROBABLY HAVE TO FIND A JOB AT SOME POINT! ARRRGGGGRGRGGGRGRG!!!" you scream in rage. Suddenly, one of the little pulsating veins in your neck bursts, spraying blood all over Falcor's face. You pass out.

You eventually wake up in a hospital bed, with an IV in your arm and catheters jammed up all of your no-no places. After you've recovered (and, if you're the masochistic sort, we can pretend there's a joke about bursting another vein when you get your bill, but I'm not gonna put one here, to hell with you), you start trying to think of a way to get another wish so you can get the billion dollars you feel you're entitled to.

Unfortunately, it just doesn't work out. You buy a bunch of fake magic lamps, throw quarters in wishing wells and fountains in every country in the world, nothing. You even try a few elaborate schemes to get gypsies to curse 80s one-hit wonder bands, but all that comes of that is recurring nightmares from seeing the members of Dexy's Midnight Runners vomiting spiders while you watch from behind a brightly painted wagon. Eventually the money runs out, and you're left homeless and jobless, begging on the streets for the rest of your life.

COME ON, EILEEN! PICK A BETTER ENDING!