After a semi-decent night's sleep (it's not easy getting some shuteye when you know a strange hunchback is roaming around the house), you pick up the phone and contact Mister Pendleton X. Queez, esq., licensed notary public and executor of the estate of the late Caleb VanPeskyparts, to inform him about this hunchback business. Upon hearing about the hunchback, he shouts "Good grief! I'll be right over!" Considering he lives hours away, you figure you're going to have to find a way to pass the time. Just then the doorbell rings. You go to answer the door and it's...

Mister Pendleton X. Queez, esq.

"Good god! How the hell did you get here so fast!?" you ask him.

"No time for questions, stupid little man. I've come to get rid of your hunchback infestation." he says in an angry, yet ultra-confident tone.

"Well it's not an infestation per se, it's just one hunchback and I really don't know much about the guy. I just wanted to find out what he's doing here and why he was in the armoire. Maybe he could prove useful in helping me solve some mysteries, right?"

"WRONG! HUNCHBACKS ARE A PLAGUE! A PLAGUE ON THIS PLANET! MY FATHER BEFORE ME WAS A HUNCHBACK EXTERMINATOR AND MY FATHER'S FATHER WAS A HUNCHBACK EXTERMINATOR! I WILL HONOR THEIR LEGACY BY DISPATCHING OF YOUR HUNCHBACK WITH MY RUTHLESS HAT TRICK!" he screams.

"Wait, what?? You're not gonna hurt him are you? I just want to ask the guy a few questions and thought you could help."

Before Pendleton can respond, the Hunchback emerges from inside wondering what all the yelling is about. Pendleton sees him and goes into berserker mode, ripping off his top hat and tossing it at the hunchback with brute force.

The good news is, the hunchback dodged it and was unharmed. The bad news is, the hat ricocheted off a nearby wall and ended up slicing your head right off.

ANYBODY STUPID ENOUGH TO GET KILLED BY A HAT OF ALL THINGS PROBABLY SHOULD'VE BEEN ABORTED! START OVER!!!