by: -RoG-

...CONTINUED

Frankford Wonder Ball

When I spotted this, I thought the packaging was nice enough, but I wasn't expecting much from the candy itself. Boy was I wrong. Frankenstein may not know the secrets of the Wonder Ball, but you soon will. The packaging is wonderful, from the outer box to the foil wrapper around the ball featuring all kinds of monster illustrations. They even throw in a couple Halloween stickers. But what about the candy itself?

This is a fantastic hollow milk chocolate treat, and as it turns out, it's filled with a bunch of tasty little candies. You don't know whether you're getting blue raspberry, mango, strawberry, or green apple, but they taste a lot like SweeTarts. Not only is the chocolate and the candy a fun combo (particularly when you hear the candies rattling around inside the ball when you shake it), but the candies themselves are shaped like skulls and spooky trees. You know what? For such a small package, this really does live up to its name. Indeed, it is a Wonder Ball!

     out of 5 zombie hands

Storck Lach Gummi Milchgeister

According to Google Translate, these ghost gummies loosely translate to "laughing milkshake ghosts". Allow me to repeat that: LAUGHING. MILKSHAKE. GHOSTS. Is that not the greatest thing you've ever heard of? I stumbled on these in a World Market and had to try 'em. They seem to come in three flavors - orange, lemon, and lime. The top layer is white, and the bottom layer is the color of whatever fruit flavor you're getting. I gotta say, these were surprisingly delicious. The orange ones in particular taste almost exactly like a Creamsicle, but in a gummy candy form. I love the playful ghost molds too. But most importantly, I love the name "LAUGHING MILKSHAKE GHOSTS". When I start a band, that's the name I'm going with.

out of 5 Mummies

Reese's White Peanut Butter Pumpkins

These are just like the Reese's Peanut Butter Ghosts from back in 2015. Don't let that semi-melted chocolate appearance dissuade you; they're still filled with that delicious candy peanut butter.

out of 5 hockey masks

Tic Tac Count's Combo & Howlin' Halloween Blend

I'm glad to see they brought a new batch of these back. You may recall the two large Tic Tac Monsters that were released in 2015. They were a lot of fun, but for some reason, we never saw them in 2016. Thankfully, Tic Tac is back with another duo of oversized monsters, this time a vampire and a ghost. The flavors are your standard orange, grape, and lime, and you can get them in standard sized packs too, but who wants that? I seriously hope Tic Tac keeps releasing these large Halloween-themed packs every year so we can eventually build an army of Tic Tac monsters. It's what the world needs.

out of 5 Gill-mans

Sour Patch Kids Zombies

I knew I'd love these before I even opened the box, as I'm a huge fan of Sour Patch Kids. These zombies come in orange & grape flavors (perfect colors for the Halloween season), and the box design is great. A Frankenstein-like Sour Patch Kid zombie is rising out of the ground, a vampire bat is carrying one off by its head, and a few of them are crawling around a spooky tree. I feel like they missed an opportunity to write something fun on the tombstones though. Why leave them blank? Why not write something like "Here lies Sour Sam: Life is sweet, but he wasn't." On the plus side, they did have one Sour Patch zombie bite off the arm of another one on the back of the box, to which it responds, "Dude. Seriously?"

out of 5 Metaluna Mutants

Rest In Pieces Of Candy

I certainly love the presentation going on here. Three tombstones, each of which has a classic name gag written on it: Juan Toomany, Yule B. Next, and Barry M. Deep. Gotta love it. Unfortunately, presentation is all these candies have going for them, because the white candy bones found within just might be the worst tasting candies of the 2017 Halloween season. There's zero flavor when you first put them in your mouth; when you finally bite into them, it's a pure artificial chemical flavor that I honestly can't even identify, and it leaves an awful aftertaste. I don't know what they were going for here, but they completely missed the ball when it comes to making the candies even remotely palatable. The presentation is great, no doubt about it, but you gotta put some effort into making your actual candies taste good, folks.

out of 5 containers of The Stuff

Mummy Poop Peppermints

Ah poop-themed candies. Once a rare novelty, now it seems like there's poop-everything in the novelty candy aisles. You already saw a Ghost Poop candy earlier in this article, and now AmuseMints are happy to join the fray with this cute little tin of mummy peppermints. As you can see, the mints themselves are tiny and nothing special, but the sliding tin featuring a happy mummy with green splattered bandages and a big smile makes for a nice lil' keepsake. Provided you like poop. But COME ON... if they're going for a poop joke, how could they not call them "Mummy POOPermints"!?!?

out of 5 Brides of Frankenstein

Superior Confections Halloween Chocolates

These are absolutely gorgeous. I love the vintage look of the foil wrapping, making these chocolates look like they came from decades ago. But the chocolate isn't from decades ago, it's from this year, and it's delicious. Easter has its hollow chocolate bunnies, and now Halloween has its chocolate black cats, ghosts, and witches. Oh, and as if a tasty chocolate and killer packaging wasn't enough, they also had the best store displays for these candies. Behold!

Just seeing this vintage style display transported me back to a simpler time. How can you not love a display with ghosts that howl "OO-OHO-OOO-OOO-WOO-OOOOO". Be still, my heart. I simply cannot wait to see what Superior Confections returns with next year. I'll be the first in line to buy more of their vintage vittles.

out of 5 Slimers

Russell Stover Hazelnut Caramel

It wouldn't be Halloween without a new pumpkin chocolate from Russell Stover, and they still have many of their other ones from recent years available on store shelves. This is a dark chocolate pumpkin filled with a hazelnut caramel, and while I like the dark chocolate, I think it would've worked better with standard caramel. Not bad, just nothing to write home about, so you're better off sticking with one of their other chocolates.

out of 5 Blobs

Werther's Original Pumpkin Spice Caramels

Given that the Werther's Original Caramel Apple candies of these were one of the absolute best candies of Halloween 2016, I was super excited to try these new pumpkin spice flavored caramels. Sadly, these simply don't hold a candle to the caramel apple ones. The pumpkin spice is decent at best, and I honestly didn't want to eat another one of these candies after trying one. Sorry Werther's, but this was a simple case of, "If it isn't broke, don't fix it." My suggestion? Stick to producing those delicious caramel apple treats from last year.

out of 5 Nightmare Feddys

Cadbury Harvest Mix

Finally. Finally, Cadbury has answered the call and made a Halloween version of their Mini Eggs. These are easily my favorite candies come Easter every year, and I always wanted them to make a Halloween version. A harvest mix with red, orange, and yellow colors to match the fall leaves? I'll take it. They may not be much to look at, but these rich milk chocolates with a crisp sugar candy shell are absolutely delicious, and I couldn't be happier that I now get to eat these in October. Keep 'em coming, Cadbury!

out of 5 Toxies

So that does it for my Ultimate Guide to the Halloween Candies of 2017. We didn't have anything quite as crazy as the Halloween Toilet Candy from last year, but we did have a solid number of delicious new candies that I gave high rankings to. As always, I must remind you that many of the candies I reviewed last year and other previous years are still available stores again this season, so be sure to keep an eye out for them as well and read my old reviews to get the scoop on 'em. If you happen to spot any candies that I haven't covered yet, drop me a line and let me know so I can try to track 'em down and update this article with a quick review before Halloween is over.

Now if you'll excuse me, something appears to be wrong with my eyes. You know how people can cry tears of relief when they complete a huge task? Well I just did that. Only problem is, my tears didn't taste like salt... they tasted like sugar. I'm pretty sure I need to see a doctor. Well, I may not be able to see one, given that my eyes are apparently going to be coated with a crispy thin sugar shell in the immediate future, but hopefully I can find my way to one. Maybe Sam will lead the way.

Before I go, I can't even begin to tell you how much work goes into putting this article together every year, so I'd really appreciate it if you would please share my big candy review on your favorite social networks with all your pals. You can find the link to the first page of candies below to share with everyone. And speaking of below, be sure to drop a comment down there to lemme know what you thought of all the candies I reviewed and if there were any ones I missed out on this season. Thanks for reading my big review; now get out there, eat a ton of candies, and have another keen Halloween!!!

Click here to return to page 1 of the Halloween candy reviews!

 

Enjoyed this article? Wanna support my efforts?

Please consider purchasing a Halloween Club Pack!

OR

Purchase a copy of my new Halloween game, Grave Chase!

Have any questions or comments about this piece?
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE READER COMMENTS SECTION BELOW!