Features
by: -RoG-
Since you guys seemed to enjoy that last batch of bizzaro Halloween cards from yesteryear so much, I figured I would put up another two pages of 'em for your amusement. So let's dive right into yet another batch of these ultra-weirdo vintage Halloween Cards!
Fact: Goblins love scented candles.
Apparently fishing with pumpkins and bondage were a big part of Halloween festivities back in the day.
Sure, he's laughing now, but that kid won't be laughing when the
constable
gives him a brutally violent beatdown for knocking off his hat.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...
Your fate is in your own hands, so don't dress like a sailor. Perhaps then the angry pumpkin god won't murder you. Perhaps.
Child labor was once used for the giant pumpkin harvests. Happy Halloween!
What's scarier, the pumpkin ghost or the cat with the enormous head in the bottom left corner?
I'm not sure what the witch is helping her choose... what shade of blush to wear perhaps?
Should a person really be accepting blindfolded beauty tips from a witch?
This young fortune teller knew all that she needed to know about this guy by reading the calluses on his palm.
When one black cat crosses your path, it's bad luck.
When many cross your path? It's a conga line and you had damn well better join in the fun.
That's right folks, allow life's truly important decisions to be settled by walnuts on fire.
It's a great way to decide on whom to marry, what stocks to invest in, whether or not to commit suicide, etc.
I want a pumpkin with laser eyes.
Jolly indeed, just look at all the joy on their faces!
A black cat in a pumpkin shell, an owl on your shoulder... what no partridge in a pear tree?
Popular witch prank: make somebody think they're a two-headed freak.
She's ashamed of her pumpkin-headed son.
And if the image of your lover doesn't appear in the candle wax, he'll remove his shoe and beat you to death with it.
Wild pigs tripping up a kilted Scotsman? Yep, it's Halloween alright!
There are still more Vintage Halloween Cards to see!
Click here to continue onward to page 2!
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Reader Comments
The hallucinatory dreams I had were exactly like these cards.
The girl looks like she is burning a training bra on the coat rack. It must be a subliminal women’s lib card.
Naked pumpkin boy is just creepy!!!!
The guy behind the fence looks like he may be into leather or potentially bondage. Maybe he should hook up with the girl tied up eating apples.
You should definetly do an article on NAKED PUMPKIN MAN...now that would be something to read :D
"its a divination game involving three bowls, on emepty, one with clear water, and one with soapy water or dirt. The blindfolded player would approach the bowls and dip her or his fingers into one. The clear water represented a virginal mate, the cloudy water or dirt represented damaged goods, and the empty one was the barren fate of a spinster or bachelor."
amazing huh? im available for parties people.
"It's a cute little hypercephalic kitten."
/Obscure?
"It's a cute little hypercephalic kitten."
/Obscure?
none of the pumpkins look like the head of john muir, either
And I like how the little girl's candle isn't reflected in the mirror even though her candle is clearly right in front of the training bra, as McFly classified it. You cannot change the laws of physics, Jim!
and I wish I was going as Naked Pumpkin Man for Halloween and hadn't spent all my money on being Scrooge McDuck. Maybe next year
Where he dates perverted, preferably hydrocephalic cats who go "Oh no you di'int girl"!
way too much.
How friggin' diabolical are you to name your child Happy? That'll probably disturb the kid forever. No wonder he's become a gate-stealing delinquent.