50 Awesome Tattoo Ideas
by: Protoclown

If you're like me, you probably think that tattoos are cool, but hesitate to get one yourself because you can't imagine anything that you'd actually want to have plastered on your body, and what seems like a cool or interesting idea now may just be a horrible embarrassment five or ten years down the road. That's why I've prepared this list of fifty awesome tattoo ideas that anyone should feel proud to have displayed on their flesh. Print this out, and the next time you find yourself drunkenly wandering outside a tattoo parlor, pull it out and you can rest assured that any one of these will make you proud. I can't take complete credit for all of these, because a few of them sprung from conversations I had with friends, where we were bouncing ideas back and forth. You guys know who you are, and I thank you for the contributions. Now, let's get on with the list.

· Closeup of Arnold Schwarzenegger smiling and holding a light bulb up next to his head. His eyes have been replaced with eggs cooked SUNNY SIDE UP!

· A gorilla doing a handstand with one hand on a rolling skateboard. With his other hand he is giving a "hang loose" gesture. The word "Maui" appears beneath him in a bananas-and-palm-trees tropical font. Must be absolutely photorealistic--not at all cartoony.

· A pair of shamed crickets dressed in tuxedos.

· Freddie Mercury, in tight white jeans and a wifebeater bearing a faded image of the Union Jack, firing a high-tech laser rifle into the air while wildly screaming. He is leaping over a toppling fruit cart spilling watermelons all over the ground beneath him.

· A "breakout" tattoo of an adorable beagle puppy, BURSTING THROUGH YOUR SKIN!!!

· A group of your friends' faces attached to naked little cherub bodies, all across your back.

· Calvin pissing on Calvin pissing on Calvin pissing on Calvin wrapped all around your arm or leg.

· A leprechaun holding a samurai sword with a menacing grin on his face.

· Pee Wee Herman sitting in a movie theater with a large tub of popcorn on his lap. He is reaching deep into the tub with one hand, his eyes are rolling back slightly, as if in pleasure, and his tongue is slightly sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

· A tattoo of the tattoo artist who is giving you the tattoo giving you that VERY SAME TATTOO!

· You, in a convertible, wearing sunglasses and driving off a cliff while flipping off the viewer, with the word "sassy" written under it in a cursive script.

· A "breakout" tattoo of a cow chewing cud, BURSTING THROUGH YOUR SKIN!!!

· Batman fighting Dick Cheney, who is holding an umbrella in a defensive stance and grimacing menacingly.

· Satan going through a bubble-filled car wash. He is looking right at you, smiling, and giving a thumbs-up gesture. His nipples are poking into his white t-shirt just a bit.

· Two children gleefully smiling and looking up at a rotisserie chicken floating on a string they are holding.

· The Gerber baby with a Hitler moustache.

· A "breakout" tattoo of Bob Ross poking outward with a paintbrush, BURSTING THROUGH YOUR SKIN!!!

· A Super Mario "magic mushroom" on your dick (if you have a dick).

· A nice fruit basket.

· Sylvester Stallone arm wrestling Bea Arthur over a milk crate. She is barely winning and he is openly sobbing.

· Hugh Heffner working feverishly on writing a script for a play.

· Your significant other crying, masturbating, and eating ice cream, ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! (Note: their discovery of this tattoo on your person must be a surprise.)

· Your favorite financial spreadsheet.

· A holiday advent calendar on your back (note: must be willing to cut flaps into top layer of skin and stuff candy into them).

· A sad clown crying on a ski slope. He is holding cattle prods in his hands and instead of skis he has EXTREMELY LARGE HOT DOGS (in buns) strapped to his feet.

· A "breakout" tattoo of a tap-dancing guy with a tuxedo, top hat and cane, BURSTING THROUGH YOUR SKIN!!!

· Ben Franklin, shirtless in a rainstorm, with his hands on his hips, and he is sort of halfway between muscular and pudgy. A kite flies in the air above him, trailing a string that is attached to his nipple ring. He is looking skyward with an almost giddy anticipation.

· A series of images across your fat, fat belly, of you making multiple trips up to the buffet line at the Golden Corral.

· A pair of closed eyes on your eyelids.

· A tableau consisting of an evilly grinning doctor giving an abortion, a group of people throwing the Ten Commandments out of a courthouse, two men holding hands while kissing, and the smoking World Trade Center towers in the background. Above them all is a sky filled with clouds, a proudly flapping American flag, and a giant eagle's face, looking down on all this and shedding a single tear.

· Lionel Richie singing and dancing on the ceiling.

· A "breakout" tattoo of a human fetus, BURSTING THROUGH YOUR SKIN!! Bonus points if you are male, or it is in an area where fetuses don't go, like your shoulder or thigh.

· God, as a bearded old man clad in robes riding a motorcycle. Baby Jesus is riding in a sidecar, smoking a cigar and firing a machine gun.

· An aged, fat Elvis Presley, sitting on a couch in a wifebeater shirt with a tub of ice cream sitting on his massive beer gut. Underneath in a rocktastic font are the words "ELVIS LIVES".

· A golden necklace hanging from a large golden chain, and other various bits of bling.

· The wrinkly face of Emperor Palpatine grimacing on the side of your neck--no, seriously--I saw a guy who actually had this and it was the worst tattoo I've ever seen.

· Small wheels on the side of your feet.

· Not just your picture from your high school senior yearbook, but the entire page it appears on.

· Popeye the sailor on your bicep, admiring your bicep.

· A "breakout" tattoo of Richard Simmons smiling big, holding up jazz hands with sparkles flying off of them, BURSTING THROUGH YOUR SKIN IN YOUR "TRAMP STAMP" AREA!

· Vincent Price, in a young boy's body but with an old man's head, sitting on a park bench wearing one of those totally gay children's sailor suits and happily licking a lollipop. His feet don't touch the ground and his eyes are glowing red.

· A bowtie around your neck.

· Your best friend's mom in a sexy pose.

· General Zod's face, mouth wide open, as if yelling, tattooed around your genitals, so that your junk is coming out of his mouth. Then the next time you're about to have sex with someone new, you can convince them to give you head by dropping trou and telling them to “kneel before Zod”.

· Your computer desktop.

· A nerdy cartoon turtle wearing glasses tap-dancing on a field of corpses.

· Conan the Barbarian, swinging his sword wildly through the air, riding one of those little horsey rides that they have for kids outside of grocery stores.

· A pair of sunglasses on your face.

· The famous marine flag-raising at Iwo Jima, only instead of marines raising the flag it's Ronald McDonald, Hulk Hogan, Ronald Reagan, and Dale Earnhardt. On the American flag the stars have been replaced with $ signs.

· A close-up of Patrick Stewart's face, winking at you and giving a friendly smile, in your tramp stamp area. Rumor has it that Mr. Stewart himself has this very tattoo.

I have deliberately not included any images in this piece because I doubt they could live up to my imagination, and I don't want to be responsible for anyone's monitor exploding into tiny shards from overloading on the sheer amount of awesome this webpage would then generate. However, if any of you artist types out there would like to try your hand at any of these designs (keeping in mind that we do try to keep this site safe for work), by all means, I invite you to post any of your interpretations in the thread below! (use the [img] [/img] tag to post them)