Censored Flicks

[sspadowsky]

Oh, how I love watching R-Rated movies on TBS or whatever, where they censor the flicks to the point that it's almost not the same movie anymore. It's beautiful.

I'm currently watching The Usual Suspects on A&E. The guys are all in the lineup, and you hear the cop say, "repeat the phrase you've been given." My ears perked, 'cause I knew it was gonna be good. God bless A&E; they didn't disappoint.

"Gimme the keys, you fuckin' cocksucker" is now......

"Gimme the keys, you fairy godmother."

:lol

Now, I know it's not as good as TBS Replacing "Up yours, ******" with "Outta my way, ******," but still, it's beautiful.

[Pee Wee Herman]

If the movie was on in the middle of the day when little kids could be watching, it's understandable, but still somewhat stupid. If they broadcast that movie when no kids would be watching, then it's pretty stupid.

I remember watching The Ref on TBS and they edited quite a bit of it too.

[huond]

I remember watching Dumb and Dumber on the WB and when one of them tells him to sign something on his ass right after you kiss it, they replaced "ass" with "sandwich" :lol

i suck at describing stuff and things :(

[LacrimansTaurne]

I remember when the Family Channel showed "Blazing Saddles"; it was awful.

[Pee Wee Herman]

NOBODY MOVE OR THE ****** GETS IT!

[EverythingWillSuck]

I remember one movie on USA had 'Your full of shit' to 'Your full of balogna!' :/

[eggyolk]

That one movie where the black kid is in the house and there are monsters in the basement and he tries to rescue the girl. Ice Cube is in this movie. >:

They say, "Shut the face up" :(

[Esuohlim]

I saw Ferris Bueller on TBS a couple times. When they describe the car as a piece of shit, it's replaced with "a piece of tin".

And Cameron is so tight that if you stick a lump of coal "in his fist", in two weeks you'll have a diamond. :rolleyes

And seriously Ferris Bueller's Day Off is the best movie ever, and I should emphasize that again by bringing back my Ed Rooney avatar. :(

[ProfessorCool]

I watched mallrats on tbs, somebody with a monotone voice pretty much did over all of jay's voice.


FLY tubby FLY!

[drunkbrigade]

The king of censored movies is Scarface. "whered you get a scar like that tough guy? Eating pineapple?"

[Comrade Rocket]

I remember in one movie they replaced Mother Fucker with Monkey Feathers.
FREZZE MONKEY FEATHER >:

and in another one they replaced Fucking mother fuckers with Flipping Watermelon Farmer :lol

[pjalne]

TBS Replacing "Up yours, ******" with "Outta my way, ******,"

This is the most awesome thing I have ever heard. Which movie?

[executioneer]

blazing saddles :/

-willie

[Pee Wee Herman]

NOBODY MOVE OR THE ****** GETS IT!

[Drew Katsikas]

You already said that, scum fucker.

[AChimp]

You're allowed to swear on Canadian TV if you can prove it's art.

[ScruU2wice]

Rush hour - "From whats up my nigga" to "whats up my negro"

[Mr. Vagiclean]

FORGET YOU! :lol


I remember watching Saving Private Ryan's beach scene on a very public channel. You couldn't tell what the hell was going on :/

[bartman]

Die Hard 2: Yippie Kae Yah Mother Fucker -> Yippie Kae Yah Mr. Falcon

Porky's on Comedy Central (something like this):

originally:
guy 1: So did you get the ******?
guy 2: come on man...you know they prefer to be called colored.
censored:
guy 1: So did you get the black guy?
guy 2: come on man...you know they prefer to be called colored.

[the_dudefather]

back to the future:

doc: "when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, your going to see some serious shit"

becomes

doc: "when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, your going to see some serious STUFF"

[Daphne]

Goonies

Original
Mouth: No way, cause then her mom's gotta drive you, then you gotta make it with her AND her mom

Censored
Mouth (in a weird, surfer voice) No way, cause then her mom's gotta drive you, then you gotta take her AND her mom.


Original:
Mouth : Sounds like my grandfather taking a leak, Mikey, thrillsville.

Censored:
Mouth (in a weird, surfer voice) Sounds like someone's shower leaking.

It's so weird, because what was so offensive about the lines in the first place?

Goonies has some of the worst censored moments, aside from the Breakfast Club and Blazing Saddles.

[Brandon]

Die Hard

ORIGINAL: "That crazy motherfucker."

EDITED: "That crazy melon farmer."

MELON FARMER?!

[Bennett]

Big Lebowski:
"This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass."

to

"This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps."

wtf?

[Zebra 3]

You're allowed to swear on Canadian TV if you can prove it's art.
Quebec TV allows swearing be it news, talkshows, movies, etc.

[Jixby Phillips]

Back to the Future 2:

original
Future Biff: ... Butt-head!
Biff: who are you calling Butt-head, Butt-head?

censored
Future Biff: ... ...
Biff: who are you calling ..., ...d?

Then later Marty goes "lets get our asses back to the future!" and it goes uncensored on tv loo

I love the ABC version of Mallrats
http://www.viewaskew.com/tv/abcrats/

[pissed off salesman]

I saw "Pink Floyd The Wall" on vh1 a while back, when censored htat movie makes even less sense than it did regularly.

[Zbu Manowar]

Can we ask why they simply don't bleep it out and be obvious about the censorship?

[executioneer]

people dont even want to KNOW there's swearoing

-willie

[the_dudefather]

why do they blur peoples mouths on tv when they swear now? are deaf people getting offended? or are they afraid kids will tape it and watch it over and over again to obtain the screat bleeped iout word?

anyone see the episode of father ted when he was getting shouted at by angry picnicers

angry man:"thats our fuppin spot you fuppin backstard, get the fupp off!"

ted:"why are you talking like that?"

(man points at sign with 'no swearing' rule)

[executioneer]

swearing blew up the two towers its true saruman swore constantly :(

-willie

[Perndog]

Major League:

"Strike this motherfucker out!"

-> "Strike this guy out!"

Four syllables reduced to one and overdubbed in a voice that sounds like a computer talking. Worst dub ever.

[Ooner]

Can we ask why they simply don't bleep it out and be obvious about the censorship?

When Howard Stern's Private Parts was on TV, they bleeped the swears and blurred nudity instead of cutting it. It was better, but still really sucked. They shouldn't show R-rated movies on non-pay cable.

[NES Boy]

This reminds me of a radio commercial I heard yesterday.

Mafia guy: You peice of-
Commercial narrator: Salami.

And this one Tiny Toons cartoon where Babs tries standup comedy:

Roach dude: I'm the roach, man, you're just a bunch of (four bleeps. During the last three, we see a shot of the reaction of Buster, Plucky, Hamton, and a shilloetted audience) Bada bing bada boom. (audince laughs)

As for Back to the Future, I read that there are alternate shots done for network airings. For the scene where Doc returns from his first visit from 2015, Marty asks if he and Jennifer become assholes in the future, while an alternate version asks if they become dorks. Not sure if it includes both Parts 1 and 2. Also, there's one in Part 3 done where Marty decides not to race Doug Needles. He said, "Yeah, do you think I'm stupid enough to race that asshole?" in one version, and in another, "I'm not stupid enough to race that butthead."