Censored Flicks

[sspadowsky]

Oh, how I love watching R-Rated movies on TBS or whatever, where they censor the flicks to the point that it's almost not the same movie anymore. It's beautiful.

I'm currently watching The Usual Suspects on A&E. The guys are all in the lineup, and you hear the cop say, "repeat the phrase you've been given." My ears perked, 'cause I knew it was gonna be good. God bless A&E; they didn't disappoint.

"Gimme the keys, you fuckin' cocksucker" is now......

"Gimme the keys, you fairy godmother."



Now, I know it's not as good as TBS Replacing "Up yours, ******" with "Outta my way, ******," but still, it's beautiful.

[Pee Wee Herman]

If the movie was on in the middle of the day when little kids could be watching, it's understandable, but still somewhat stupid. If they broadcast that movie when no kids would be watching, then it's pretty stupid.

I remember watching The Ref on TBS and they edited quite a bit of it too.

[huond]

I remember watching Dumb and Dumber on the WB and when one of them tells him to sign something on his ass right after you kiss it, they replaced "ass" with "sandwich"

i suck at describing stuff and things

[LacrimansTaurne]

I remember when the Family Channel showed "Blazing Saddles"; it was awful.

[Pee Wee Herman]

NOBODY MOVE OR THE ****** GETS IT!

[EverythingWillSuck]

I remember one movie on USA had 'Your full of shit' to 'Your full of balogna!' :/

[eggyolk]

That one movie where the black kid is in the house and there are monsters in the basement and he tries to rescue the girl. Ice Cube is in this movie.

They say, "Shut the face up"

[Esuohlim]

I saw Ferris Bueller on TBS a couple times. When they describe the car as a piece of shit, it's replaced with "a piece of tin".

And Cameron is so tight that if you stick a lump of coal "in his fist", in two weeks you'll have a diamond.

And seriously Ferris Bueller's Day Off is the best movie ever, and I should emphasize that again by bringing back my Ed Rooney avatar.

[ProfessorCool]

I watched mallrats on tbs, somebody with a monotone voice pretty much did over all of jay's voice.


FLY tubby FLY!

[drunkbrigade]

The king of censored movies is Scarface. "whered you get a scar like that tough guy? Eating pineapple?"

[Comrade Rocket]

I remember in one movie they replaced Mother Fucker with Monkey Feathers.
FREZZE MONKEY FEATHER

and in another one they replaced Fucking mother fuckers with Flipping Watermelon Farmer

[pjalne]

Originally Posted by sspadowsky

TBS Replacing "Up yours, ******" with "Outta my way, ******,"

This is the most awesome thing I have ever heard. Which movie?

[executioneer]

blazing saddles :/

-willie

[Pee Wee Herman]

NOBODY MOVE OR THE ****** GETS IT!

[Drew Katsikas]

You already said that, scum fucker.

[AChimp]

You're allowed to swear on Canadian TV if you can prove it's art.

[ScruU2wice]

Rush hour - "From whats up my nigga" to "whats up my negro"

[Mr. Vagiclean]

FORGET YOU!


I remember watching Saving Private Ryan's beach scene on a very public channel. You couldn't tell what the hell was going on :/

[bartman]

Die Hard 2: Yippie Kae Yah Mother Fucker -> Yippie Kae Yah Mr. Falcon

Porky's on Comedy Central (something like this):

originally:
guy 1: So did you get the ******?
guy 2: come on man...you know they prefer to be called colored.
censored:
guy 1: So did you get the black guy?
guy 2: come on man...you know they prefer to be called colored.

[the_dudefather]

back to the future:

doc: "when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, your going to see some serious shit"

becomes

doc: "when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, your going to see some serious STUFF"

[Daphne]

Goonies

Original
Mouth: No way, cause then her mom's gotta drive you, then you gotta make it with her AND her mom

Censored
Mouth (in a weird, surfer voice) No way, cause then her mom's gotta drive you, then you gotta take her AND her mom.


Original:
Mouth : Sounds like my grandfather taking a leak, Mikey, thrillsville.

Censored:
Mouth (in a weird, surfer voice) Sounds like someone's shower leaking.

It's so weird, because what was so offensive about the lines in the first place?

Goonies has some of the worst censored moments, aside from the Breakfast Club and Blazing Saddles.

[Brandon]

Die Hard

ORIGINAL: "That crazy motherfucker."

EDITED: "That crazy melon farmer."

MELON FARMER?!

[Bennett]

Big Lebowski:
"This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass."

to

"This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps."

wtf?

[Zebra 3]

Originally Posted by AChimp

You're allowed to swear on Canadian TV if you can prove it's art.

Quebec TV allows swearing be it news, talkshows, movies, etc.

[Jixby Phillips]

Back to the Future 2:

original
Future Biff: ... Butt-head!
Biff: who are you calling Butt-head, Butt-head?

censored
Future Biff: ... ...
Biff: who are you calling ..., ...d?

Then later Marty goes "lets get our asses back to the future!" and it goes uncensored on tv loo

I love the ABC version of Mallrats
http://www.viewaskew.com/tv/abcrats/