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Topic Review (Newest First)
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| Apr 21st, 2004 10:50 AM | ||
| Matt Harty | [0.08% of total / 20.00 posts per day] | |
| Apr 19th, 2004 06:59 PM | ||
| xBLacKObSeSSioNx |
Joke Ok I got one it's kind of long: There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone. So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except", and he stopped. "Except what?" the man asked. "Nothing, nothing." "Come on, tell me, I need something" "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick.'" "So what's up with this voodoo dick?" he asked. The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said "Big deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop". The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door." The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said "Voodoo dick, get back in your box". The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there. "I'll take it", said the businessman. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo dick, my pussy." He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone. After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said "Voodoo dick, my pussy". The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn't stop screwing. The officer looked at her for a second, and then said "Yeah, right. Voodoo dick, my ass." |
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| Apr 10th, 2004 07:03 AM | ||
| GADZOOKS | More like WHATEVAYOUWANTBITCHJUSTGIVEMETHEMONEYBEFOREILETMYCHILD ISHSEXUALWAYSGETTHEBESTOFMEKEEPINMINDIGOTTAGETOUTO FHEREAROUNDMIDNIGHTORATLEASTUNTIL01 | |
| Apr 9th, 2004 10:41 PM | ||
| Esuohlim | More like WHATEVA01 | |
| Mar 8th, 2004 08:28 PM | ||
| bigtimecow |
a guy walks into a bar and says alright, get this, GET THIS, GET THIS!.... "OW!" |
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| Feb 29th, 2004 10:20 PM | ||
| Schimid | haha i get jokes too | |
| Feb 29th, 2004 10:16 PM | ||
| Emu | Ellen or the guy who dreamed he jacked him off? | |
| Feb 23rd, 2004 05:00 PM | ||
| Immortal Goat |
Re: i got a joke Quote:
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| Feb 23rd, 2004 11:50 AM | ||
| Emu | WAS THE WHITE STUFF SNOW???? | |
| Feb 23rd, 2004 02:04 AM | ||
| eva01 |
i got a joke one day these three men went camping, in hopes of getting big game. they all slept in the same tent side by side. one night, one of them got drunk and passed out in the tent. the others got on either side of him and went to sleep. they woke up and there was white stuff on the ceiling of the tent. the left man said: i had a dream that i was getting a handjob by britney spears! the right man said: i had a dream that i was jacked off by Ellen degeneres! the middle man, in his drunken stupor, said: i dreamed i was skiing! 
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