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CaptainBubba · #1

EX (1:57:29 AM): my sister has chlamydia and is addicted to cocaine
dscoM0nkie (1:57:50 AM): thats hilarious
Auto Response from EX (1:57:59 AM): channeling my inner bridget jones, drinking a bottle of wine

just say no to emotional fuckwittage.
EX (1:58:11 AM): no its not!
dscoM0nkie (1:58:55 AM): seriously thats awesome
EX (1:59:17 AM): why>>>
dscoM0nkie (1:59:18 AM): man I can see why you said my family was poor genes ahaha
EX (1:59:41 AM): dont be a d ick
dscoM0nkie (1:59:55 AM): why are you even telling me this?
EX (2:00:31 AM): because once upon a time youd be my firnd
dscoM0nkie (2:01:04 AM): once upon a time you fucked my friend and became a total generic bitch with no semblance of the personality that I liked in you
EX (2:01:28 AM): did not! lewis is myy friend!
dscoM0nkie (2:02:26 AM): ohhhh right oh god sorry right oh man silly me yea we can be friends now god what was i thinking you're not a bitch my bad you had sex with him because hes so hot, not to hurt me or anything, and you aren't different at all, not like the you im interested in ever ever talking to would make fun of the new you
EX (2:03:17 AM): gagag. youre so awesome and cool and yadda yadda yadda
dscoM0nkie (2:03:20 AM): you're fat
EX (2:03:43 AM): am not!
dscoM0nkie (2:03:37 AM): you are fat
EX (2:03:49 AM): i'm hot!
dscoM0nkie (2:03:53 AM): im sure the blubber provides excellent insulation yes
EX (2:04:10 AM): your mom
dscoM0nkie (2:04:07 AM): what about her?
dscoM0nkie (2:04:12 AM): oh also you are fat
EX (2:04:26 AM): i dont know
dscoM0nkie (2:04:20 AM): oh ok

kahljorn · #2

good job giving her a slapping. Stupid people need it when they do stupid fucked up things. They need that more than forgiveness and friends ;O

Seven Force · #3

kids these days

noob3 · #4

yeah calling her fat makes up for the fact that she fucked your best friend

you think she cares what you think of her? she probably thinks you're a fucking loser, and that's why she fucked your friend who probably loses less & wins more

zeldasbiggestfan · #5

Deja fucking vu dude. Happened to me except I didnt know him and she got herpes. Haha.

MattJack · #6

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainBubba

dscoM0nkie (1:59:18 AM): man I can see why you said my family was poor genes ahaha
EX (1:59:41 AM): dont be a d ick

Man she said your family was poor genes? What the fuck is that shit about? If she did say something like that then you really have every right to be as much of a dick to her as you want without feeling any remorse.

Wait, she fucked your buddy? Coooooolllllllllddd Bloooooooooded! That's why I stay away from those girls now.

Girlfriends really aren't worth your time in the long run. Sure you think she's special and yea she can do that thing with her esophagus, but is it really worth it? Where you were once big and strong, gripping life by the backhair, now you are reduced to a James-esque type of worthlessness.

Suplex that bitch. That's all I'm saying, shit.

GADZOOKS · #7

Oh man, I don't know which insult is more scathing. Noob3's keeping it real or Zelda's I CAN RELATE.

Grislygus · #8

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan

Deja fucking vu dude. Happened to me except I didnt know him and I LIEEE. Stop me. Haha.

:sixcharacters

CaptainBubba · #9

He was by no means my best friend, just an aquaintance and I always thought he was creepy, but we had ex-sex one night and we were talking and she asked if I would be mad if she had sex w/ him and I was like "YES, GROSS" bc he is ugly as SIN. then I met a pretty girl 2 days later and told her, so she had sex with him to "get back at me". I hasn't really spoken to him in a while and all my real freidns always hated him anyway so I don't much care about that, its the fact that she would fuck someone so gross just to piss me off.

She said my mom made her not want to have a kid w/ me bc she thinks shes annoying. Her mom left her family at age 10 bc of alcoholism and drug problems.

She tries to im me just to talk about ocne every two weeks and everytime I tell her to leave me the fuck alone. I don't care what she thinks of me or what she does, I just want her to not act liek we're fucking chums.

ZBF you are a liar and shutup.

Also since I'm explaining I figure I should say that she did alot of other horrible thigns to me which I all forgave, but the one thing that I could not tolerate and made me hate her forever was actually this:

She told me I wasn't invited to hang out with her on New Years.

MattJack · #10

Damn! I dated this girl for a long, long time and we broke up for like a week. She had fucked some other dood (to "get back at me")who worked at Autozone, was short, and was pretty fucking gross in general.
She came to my apartment THAT night afterwards and told me! Women are fuckin crazy. Not only did it suck because I cared way more than I wanted to admit, but it was simply insulting. I mean, I'm not anything special in the looks department myself, but DAMN DID YOU HAVE TO FUCK PEDRO FROM NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE?

Her mom left due to drugs and alcohol, yet your genes suck? Intelligence isn't for everyone man.

I simply just wouldn't give her the time of day anymore. Just don't IM her back or answer the phone. Then before you know it she'll be freaking out saying, "WHY ARENT YOU ANSWERING?! I DONT UNDERSTAND IM NOT REALLY A DUMB WHORE, I CHANGED!"

Just go on a date or something man, even if it isn't serious. Before you know it you won't even care enough to give her the time of day at all.