First/worst time getting drunk

[MetalMilitia]

The wost time I got drunk, I was going out for dinner with my ex-wife while simultaneously trying to close a TV deal with a network exec, sat at another table in the same restaurant! At this stage I should make clear that I needed to be dressed as a buxom elderly woman while talking to my ex-wife, but dressed in my normal clothes when talking to the network exec. The problem was the network exec kept buying me scotch every time I sat down. After three or four scotches I started messing up my disguise in a number of humorous ways (forgetting to remove makeup when talking to the exec and other such shenanigans). The evening culminated in my ex-wife realizing that I was in fact me and not an elderly Scottish woman.
But what of the TV deal I hear you asking? Well, using my quick wit I convinced the network exec that the elderly woman costume was actually the new character I had invented for the TV show!

One monkey co-host later and I was a captain of industry. I think I got re-married to my wife or something too. I don't really remember what with being drunk and everything.