1. BAKE HER A CAKE. BUT HOLD IT AT YOUR WAIST AND WHEN SHE PUTS HER HAND IN THE CAKE SHELL GRAB YOUR DICK. GIRLS CANT RESIST A CLEVER GUY.
2. SCALP HER. THE EVENT WILL BRING YOU CLOSER TOGETHER AND ESTABLISH A MEANINGFUL BOND. FOR BROWNIE POINTS YOU CAN THROW THE SCALP IN THE FISHBOWL.
3. VERBALLY ABUSE HER. THIS DOESN'T REALLY GET YOU ANY CLOSER BUT IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT END UP KILLING HER.
4. MAKE HER A CARD. OK THIS ONE IS A NO GO. SORRY.
5. WEAR HER CLOTHES. THIS WAY SHE'LL HAVE TO WALK AROUND NAKED UNTIL YOU LET HER HAVE THEM BACK. TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE.
6. KILL HER LOVED ONES. WHEN THEY'RE ALL GONE YOU'LL BE THE ONLY ONE SHE HAS TO TURN TO.
7. RAPE HER.
8. PAINT YOUSELF BLACK. JUNGLE FEVER. NUFF SAID.
9. USE THE WORD "CUNT" LIBERALLY. IT HELPS TO KNOW WHAT TURNS A GAL ON.
10. KILL YOURSELF. CHICKS DIG A GUY WHO PLANS FOR THE FUTURE