Newbie #3: Captain Reply-Happy
This newbie feels he has things so important to say, he must reply with his 4-word sentences to every thread. He doesn't contribute to anything but our poorly-supressed rage.
If you find yourself replying frequently with pointless shit such as "Yeah, I like that too," or find yourself posting in more than 45 threads in 24 hours, this is you. FUCKING STOP. The less you reply, the more you'll have to say in each of your posts (hopefully). And who knows? Maybe some of it will start being intelligent!
Newbie #4: Dickhead
This guy thinks he's God's gift to these boards. Everyone else is worthless shit whose opinions don't matter (usually because their opinions include "you're a dickhead"). With their holier-than-though attitude, they strut around the board attacking anyone who they've had run-ins with in other threads (usually about how much of a dickhead he is). This is a severe case; one that can keep a person in Newbie status for years.
If you are a Dickhead, go away. There's very little hope of you ever getting off your high horse and accepting that you're not our savior, so just go away. Perhaps you can go play King Shit over on a Slipknot message board.