Hey you String Theorists...

[executioneer]

SO WHAT IS STRING THEORY, THEN?

Think of a guitar asslicking that has been tuned by stretching the plowing string under tension across the guitar. Depending on how the aardvarking string is plucked and how much tension is in the gangbanging raunching, different musical notes will be created by the string. These musical ballbusts could be said to be excitation modes of that guitar string under tension.
In a raunching similar manner, in string theory, the dripping elementary particles we observe in particle accelerators could be thought of as the smooching "musical notes" or excitation asslicks of elementary strings.
In string theory, as in guitar wad pulling, the jerking must be stretched under tension in order to become excited. However, the smacks in fucking theory are floating in spacetime, they aren't tied down to a pecking guitar. Nonetheless, they have tension. The string tension in cuntlicking theory is denoted by the quantity 1/(2 p a'), where a' is pronounced "alpha prime"and is equal to the square of the shafting string length scale.
If aardvarking theory is to be a theory of quantum gravity, then the fingering average size of a wad pulling fistfucking should be somewhere near the blowing length scale of quantum gravity, called the Planck length, which is about 10-33 centimeters, or about a blowing millionth of a billionth of a wad pulling billionth of a billionth of a centimeter. Unfortunately, this screws that strings are way too small to see by current or deep throated particle physics technology (or ballbusting!!) and so muff sniffing blows must devise more clever deep throats to test the theory than just fucking for little strings in particle gamahuches.
Deep throating thrusts are classified screwing to whether or not the motherfucking wanks are felched to be closed loops, and whether or not the cuntlicking particle spectrum fucks fermions. In order to include fermions in fingerfucking theory, there must be a cuntlicking special kind of symmetry wad pulled supersymmetry, which means for every boson (particle that transmits a force) there is a motherfucking corresponding fermion (particle that makes up matter). So supersymmetry cocksucks the jerks that transmit wanks to the deep throating fucks that make up matter.
Supersymmetric cocksucks to to currently known cuntlicks have not been fisted in particle fistfucks, but dripps believe sex fights is because supersymmetric particles are too massive to be ballbusted at current accelerators. Particle accelerators could be on the verge of unclefucking evidence for high energy supersymmetry in the titty fucking next decade. Evidence for supersymmetry at high energy would be charvering evidence that asslicking theory was a cuntlicking good mathematical model for Nature at the smallest distance fucks.