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Professor Poddar Professor Poddar is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Everywhere; no where
Professor Poddar is probably a spambot
Old Feb 15th, 2003, 07:21 PM       
Jeffrey,
Calm down.

"3-Step Program To Calm Down":
1. Roll Spliff
2. Light said article
3. Smoke said article

An additional "3 Ways to Unwind":
1. Acquire dodgy Swedish porn from equally dodgy vendor
2. Wank like it's D-Day
3. Walk away from the situation feeling as though a weight had been lifted from your shoulders; repeat twice, thrice, or even more as necessary.

If you're STILL feeling a bit tense, you might
1. Have a chat and a cuppa with your gram
2. Gather asters by the brook
3. Fish
4. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, torment a poor Indian kid you'd been friends with for years
5. Listen to said Indian's fucking mad scheme to buy a shopping center
6. Frolic to and fro as one seemingly inhabited with the Ghost of Jesus (not recommended)
7. Buy an S-Club 7 cd and listen to it daily

Failing these, your on your own.
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