How to Deal With Death?

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I'm no stranger to funerals and I can totally understand what you're saying. They're not meant to be fun. They are awkward, depressing, and uncomfortable. But...

Honestly? I think you're worrying too much about others... it would be my guess they don't expect you to do anything. If emotionally you feel stronger than they do in this situation, just try to be there for them. If you see a relative very upset, chances are some other family member will be consoling them. Otherwise just offer them a tissue... offer to get them a coffee or something to drink. Talk about other things. Listen to their stories about your grandmother. People experiencing grief are not looking for you to give them answers or to make it all better. Just being there is enough.