Well, I can tell you one thing: Shipwreck will never be a gracefully forgotten Joe. That man fucking rocks and is right up there with Snake Eyes in my book. Nothing says Joe like a fucking kickass take no prisoners sailor. However, if he had some really bad versions I'll be sure to take out those but only because it would fuck up the basics of Shipwreck..and we all don't want that, right?
Now, for yet another one..and this saddens me:
Gung Ho in Dress Blues
Don't get me wrong: I love Gung-Ho. But this is a awful action figure.
Hasbro had a habit in the '80s of making Joes that were either cool, filler, or just honoring something/somebody because, at their heart, they were patriotic toys. And since Gung-Ho was a popular figure, it would make a lot of sense to redesign him for more sales and it if happened to be an honorary figure...hey, added bonus! Nothing says "$!" like a figure that does everything.
But sadly, Hasbro goofed here. As we all know, Gung-Ho isn't the GQ type. For fuck's sake, the man is a Marine. Tattooed chest, wears a vest and dirty pants and a hat because he's a swamp fighter. Making a swamp fighter the pinnacle of Marine excellence is hardly an intelligent move. And the filecard on him which they excuse his dress doesn't make him look hardcore as much as it makes him look like the alternative to Ken in Barbie wants another man. Add to this the utter lack of accessories--a saber is cool, but molded to the fucking scabbard is DUMB--and you have a Joe who doesn't do anything except stand there, his saber stupidly in his hand, looking out of place and uncomfortable. And why Hasbro didn't pay some poor guy $5 an hour just to put the labels on the figure's arms instead of having kids do it is just pathetic.
The truly sad part about this is if you click on the link, you can see the Brazilian version which is full of weapons like pistols and guns along with a cover design that looks kickass. Compared to Gung-Ho's filecard which has him standing at attention and you can see how badly Hasbro fucked up a good figure. So, while Brazil has a Gung Ho dressed to the nines and tearing new holes, we have one who likes shining his shoes and making sure his patches and awards are all nice and even.
Before he tries stabbing himself with his sad little sheathed saber.
Threaded Mode
