This board is like crack.

[Helm]

I like it when people ask me how long it took me to grow my hair out to their current length. Especially women. I take it as an upportunity to, after an intentional pause, look the person who inquires straight between the eyes and proclaim that ´I am against premarital intercourse.´ and then wink like she knows I know she knows but she's got problems. It happens when I'm playing pool most of the time. Biker bitches, that sort of thing. They like the hairs. Not that I would know, actually as I'm making all of this up. I've never left my basement in my life.