The stupidest things you've ever heard.

[Emu]

Originally Posted by pissed off salesman

One time when I was a junior, some fuckup in my biology class slammed his left hand in a locker until it was swollen, and bleeding. He then proceeded to class. He raised his pulpy blood gushing appendage and asked to be excused, but the teacher said to wait till we were dismissed. The dumbass then screamed at teh teacher "HEY, I DIDN'T FUCK UP MY OWN HAND FOR MY OWN HEALTH, BITCH!" he got expelled, and comitted to therapy for self-inflicted wounds!

that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard.