The stupidest things you've ever heard.

[AChimp]

I was waiting for the bus downtown once, when this drunk Native guy walked up to me and started harassing me for change. I gave him a couple nickels and pennies, but he was so plastered that he dropped them all.

Then, he looked at me and said, "You dropped my money, man." I was just like, "You want it, you pick it up."

Rather than picking it up, he decided to sit down on the bench and start sniffing some cottonballs that he had soaked in gas. Then he proceeded to show me the few teeth he had and complain about the Chinese dentist he had gone to. He did a few demonstrations of how the dentist pulled one of his teeth. Then he slobbered all over everything and tried to touch me.

The best part was yet to come, though.

Him: "Hmm... you think you could dance with wolves, boy?"
Me: "Probably not."
Him: "I didn't think so either."